Guys or Gals: would you date a BBW?

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Considering the lack of proper guidance from superiors and peers (from what I've seen here in north american, anyways), it's not too surprising.

And not just strictly in the department of sex appeal, but self-improvement as a whole. It's just not taught much, and we're so rarely directed to easily apparent and accessible information. And then, too, there's all kinds of conflicting messages from all around, especially from many girls/women themselves. The vocal minority of misogynistic groups and peoples reaction to them, and all the other conflicting messages being ignorantly thrown around doesn't help either.

In high-school I hung out a ton with a girl that acted disgusted, off-put or avoidant with any non-platonic interest I was even perceived to have shown her, and she acted like she didn't care much about me, meanwhile....she actually wanted me to corner her and then mercilessly plow and dominate her till she can't walk. And no, that isn't some exaggerated caricature. In high school she embraced the monikers of 'princess' and 'b***h', and later in our 20's when we reconnected at one point she told me about how she used to be. Apparently even her friend who I briefly dated, who seemed like more of a shy romantic, wanted me to 'use' her a little.

Oh yeah, and then there was that weird f*****g dynamic of separating the sexes in grade school. At first I was friends with many girls, but then pressure from teachers and peers separated us and I could only hang out with guys unless it was a group hanging out. A few girls I even started to get along with even turned into merciless bullies. What the heck is that?

For a kid like me who relied on rules and consistency to understand the world, in regards to my role as a sexual or romantic partner, grade school and high school just messed me up.

I had to seek out the predominantly toxic pick-up artist and fashion purist resources to carefully pick-and-choose or repurpose material to fit my ethical concerns to get any proper idea and confidence about what I should actually be doing with myself. The adjustment necessary is quite substantial.

did she actually explicitly tell you this, in her own words, or is this an imaginative deducing on your part.

We had a date that didn't leave much to the imagination.

You make some good points. I don't disagree with you, but there is another consideration. Your recommendations
seem to assume a certain amount of casual sex, but unfortunately, less attractive women are often less open to casual sex because they have a greater fear of being "used for sex" by men who are holding out for somebody more attractive, therefore they are often more likely to insist on some degree of commitment before agreeing to sex. This is unfortunate. I've never been on Tinder for example, but if it seems there are a lot of hot women on there, that might be the reason, as those women have no fear of being tossed aside by men just looking for a good time. In my opinion women who believe themselves unattractive should just consider offers of uncommitted sex because that at least puts them in the game, furthermore if such a woman can get a man to have sex with her regularly (by trying to be a good sex partner and an enjoyable person to be around in general) that man may find himself wanting to stay with her, even if he hadn't expected to feel that way at the outset.

BTW I think this applies to a lot of women on WP. They reject any guy they think is just "looking for sex" and end up holding the bag so to speak.

Oh really? In my experience, it's been the opposite, and the BBWs are more open to casual sex compared to more fit and goodlooking women. But that's just been my experience.

Yep, the pool of available single women open to long term relationships isn't that great. For most average men you have a better chance scoring a one-night stand with an BBW-Average looking girl than finding a long term partner. But even the former is difficult as swipe ratio isn't that great even for BBWs.

But if BBWs are not being swiped as much, doesn't that mean they are more available?

Yes and no.
Yes, men go for the most attractive ones and then work down.
No - there are more men > women on dating apps. The women on dating apps have the pick and very rarely get rejected/ignored very long.

Is it possible to get some women off of dating apps still? One thing about women I meet off of dating apps, is that they say they hate how almost every guy sends them 'd^&k pics'. If this is true, and they hate how almost all guys do it, could guys other guys succeed by not doing it and stand out that way to women to some degree?

Guys post pictures of their good looks, muscles, car and lifestyle. The alphas know what catches the fish.

I am gay and I think the definition of BBW is confusing. I find women who are mothers most attractive and their bodies are beautiful.

I've never heard any girl who isn't a car enthusiast ever comment on a guys car unless it's a notably terrible one.

There's a meme about a guy parking his fancy expensive car in a visible place, all proud and excited about all the attention he'll get. Then the scene cuts to another guy getting all sensual over the car.

From what I've seen, cars only matter if it's a difference between having [a decent car] vs [a disgusting car, an unsafe car, or no car], whether you have a big pickup truck in some parts of the US, or whether you're trying to find yourself a gold-digger trophy wife.

Muscles have mixed success. I've met more than a few women who are actually averse to overly muscular men, and just some normal pictures would show them all they need to know regarding musculature.

Of those four things, lifestyle would be the most important. But then again...dating profiles alone don't land you sex or romance.

I'd recommend dropping the social grouping of alphas, betas, etc.. It really only serves to give self-titled 'alphas' an ego trip, and doesn't at all help those who're hoping for success.

Second, don't assume that men's most common opinions of what makes man manly are what women want.

Ignoring the topic of money, from what I've learned the most important things are sense of humor, social ability, being passionate about something like a hobby or altruistic ideal, being skillful at a wide variety of useful things especially cooking and handy-work, always seek to improve themselves and everything around them, having stable employment, smelling nice, and having whatever specific aesthetic body shape that that particular woman appreciates. The ones I know are broad shoulders, fore-arms, hands, butt, calves, back, and various things on or around the abdomen.

I've probably missed a few of the most common things but that doesn't matter too much because that's just a range of things. You don't need all of that. Different women have different preferences, many even have very niche desires that you might never realize until they later tell you during some private moment. And these things can get both pretty wild and pretty contradictory...

I've met women who are wanted to watch me have 'fun' with another guy, I've met women who think that a guy being bisexual like myself is a huge, emasculating turnoff, I've met girls who are disgusted by big muscles, seen girls who like big guys that are also big softies when it comes to confrontation, girls who like feminine looking guys, girls who like abusive and toxic guys, girls who like dumb guys, etc etc.

Honestly, if I had to package dating advice into a small and simple generalized box, my advice would be to not be boring, lazy, useless or spineless. So long as you're always working in the opposite direction of those things, you'll eventually find success. Oh, and also to keep in mind that no matter what you do, you might not be a certain woman's 'type', so don't take rejection personally. Just remember and respect that other people have their own preferences, and then move on.

To send a dick picture is just stupid.

It might be an age thing. The plus size women you find receptive for casual sex may have been attractive enough in their late teens or early twenties to have not had concerns about finding a mate, back in the day. A lot of them may have had one or more long-term relationships, or gotten married. By the time you met them, attracting male attention might have become more difficult but by then they had developed sexual appetites and come to learn that sex can be enjoyed without emotional commitment etc.

BTW when I said some attractive women find it easier to have casual sex, I didn't mean that most attractive women hook up on a regular basis. The ones you'd see on Tinder are probably a very small, unrepresentative cohort that are into that sort of thing. Most women that age do not seem predisposed to actively seek hook-ups, and those that do only do that for a brief period in their lives. If a woman is still conventionally attractive in her mid 30s or later, and single, she might become quite selective. It's my impression that some get to a point where they are only interested in guys significantly younger than they, and have learned they can get them. Also their greater degree of experience has taught them how to "guilt" a young guy into feeling committed.

When I talk about women who think themselves unattractive, and fear being "used for sex" due largely to a poor sense of self-worth, I mean mostly younger women who have probably never been in a serious relationship and at that point in their lives, want to be in such a relationship more than they want sexual gratification.

That's true, a lot of them were cougars back when I was in my 20s and the ones I know who are like thay are also in their late 30s, early 40s, or more.

Lot to unpack here but let's start with these. Muscles = physically fit. In addition if you add height/looks to fitness then the girl will like what she sees. It's kind of no-brainer if you want to attract a girl.

Cars = status. A guy's car says a lot about himself to a woman. The exception might be an urban executive who lives in the city and uses public transport but usually they should have a bike to be trendy.

Its more convenience than than boosting self-esteems (which are probably already over-inflated). The mindset of successful people is such they don't pay attention to those whom they perceive as "beneath them". It's people like us who talk about them. They on the other hand are looking at those parallel and above them.