Would you pair up with someone just for status?

Page 3 of 4 [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

smartHulk
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2021
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 89

05 Nov 2021, 5:08 am

The truth is unless there are very good reasons not to majority of people would pair up with someone just for status if they have this opportunity, but would never admit it even to themselves, to them it wouldn't feel like "just for status".

What people think of when they say they would never do it are cases of obvious "gold digger" or "trophy" spouses, but in reality that means lowering your social status, being looked down upon at for the rest of your life, this is something many people actually wouldn't do.



Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,796

05 Nov 2021, 11:14 am

smartHulk wrote:
The truth is unless there are very good reasons not to majority of people would pair up with someone just for status if they have this opportunity, but would never admit it even to themselves, to them it wouldn't feel like "just for status".

What people think of when they say they would never do it are cases of obvious "gold digger" or "trophy" spouses, but in reality that means lowering your social status, being looked down upon at for the rest of your life, this is something many people actually wouldn't do.


Got evidence for those sweeping claims?



theprisoner
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2021
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,063
Location: Britain

05 Nov 2021, 11:25 am

Ettina wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
The truth is unless there are very good reasons not to majority of people would pair up with someone just for status if they have this opportunity, but would never admit it even to themselves, to them it wouldn't feel like "just for status".

What people think of when they say they would never do it are cases of obvious "gold digger" or "trophy" spouses, but in reality that means lowering your social status, being looked down upon at for the rest of your life, this is something many people actually wouldn't do.


Got evidence for those sweeping claims?


Just Hungry for evidence today? You sound like Fnord? always with the "got proof? "wheres you proof?" "Prove It"

I thought what smart hulk was talking about was basic human anture and self evident sociological fact.

Quote:
Our evidence points to a pattern of status exchange—that is, persons with high education from modest backgrounds tend to marry those with lower education from more privileged backgrounds.


Marrying Up by Marrying Down: Status Exchange between Social Origin and Education in the United States
Christine R. Schwartz, Zhen Zeng, Yu Xie
Sociological Science, November 28, 2016
DOI 10.15195/v3.a44
https://sociologicalscience.com/articles-v3-44-1003/

Now of course the education factor is the leverage to marry up in this study. But i believe it generally applies to all people. If you're Low status,( aka poor) barring great incompatibility, you will upgrade your status, if the opportunity arises, and is fairly agreeable. It's funny but money , wealth, status makes people do funny things. An average looking person all of a sudden becomes a lot more appealing, if they have status. You're gonna tell me this isn't a phenomenon?


_________________
AQ: 27 Diagnosis:High functioning (just on the cusp of normal.) IQ:131 (somewhat inflated result but ego-flattering) DNA:XY Location: UK. Eyes: Blue. Hair: Brown. Height:6'1 Celebrity I most resemble: Tom hardy. Favorite Band: The Doors. Personality: uhhm ....(what can i say...we asd people are strange)


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,371
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

05 Nov 2021, 11:32 am

Funny thing is though people can lease cars on a lower wage than I make and drive around in a shiny BMW, whereas I drive a tiny 8 year old hatchback.

Status isn't necessary about money. It's about what looks good to others. You can fake it... If you don't mind drowning in debt.

Do you care what others think - Of your car, of your partner etc?



Minervx_2
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 22 May 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 221

05 Nov 2021, 1:44 pm

No; this is a recipe for disaster. I've seen many people who have nice cars/houses, but are unhappy in their marriage, or even worse, being abused.



Eurythmic
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

Joined: 1 Jan 2013
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 438
Location: Southern Sydney, by the beach

05 Nov 2021, 6:51 pm

Nope, the concept of "status" means absolutely nothing to me.

I'm an everyday bloke who wears normal clothing, lives in a normal house and drives an everyday car. I don't need or want anything to make me look "important" in the eyes of others. I can think of nothing worse than being in the public eye. I have a beautiful partner who whilst absolutely gorgeous is also disinterested in anything showy. We have a great lifestyle with minimal stress. We have friends over for BBQs and the occasional group lunch. One of them likes experimental Asian cooking, he always brings along one of his dishes, very interesting to talk to and the best company. I've had a ball trying his food and a good yack over lunch several times. He's not showy or in any way prestige driven either. Maybe I'm just self absorbed and enjoy the company of people I like.

Sure we could spin our jobs and lifestyles as something prestigious and be all showy. We could buy expensive cars which depreciate in no time. We could draw attention to ourselves and strut around like movie stars. But we much prefer to be everyday people and also associate with down to earth people.

Right now I'm sitting on the front verandah on a Saturday morning watching the world go by with my laptop and drinking coffee. Would I want it any other way? Nope!



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,371
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

06 Nov 2021, 1:39 am

You sound like my kind of people.

I really think the showiest of people have low self esteem. They seek external validation.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,932
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

06 Nov 2021, 1:45 am

How often brits are willing to pair up with Indians for instance?


_________________
Come here to get the Block functionality for Wrongplanet:
viewtopic.php?f=13&t=390645


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,039
Location: Adelaide, Australia

06 Nov 2021, 5:51 am

hurtloam wrote:
Would you date or settle down with someone you didn't really love if they made you look better in the eyes of your family and peers?

Yes. If it weren't for the desire to look better in the eyes of my friends and family I never would have started dating. I prefer to spend most of my time by myself.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Ettina
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jan 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,796

06 Nov 2021, 7:36 am

theprisoner wrote:
Ettina wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
The truth is unless there are very good reasons not to majority of people would pair up with someone just for status if they have this opportunity, but would never admit it even to themselves, to them it wouldn't feel like "just for status".

What people think of when they say they would never do it are cases of obvious "gold digger" or "trophy" spouses, but in reality that means lowering your social status, being looked down upon at for the rest of your life, this is something many people actually wouldn't do.


Got evidence for those sweeping claims?


Just Hungry for evidence today? You sound like Fnord? always with the "got proof? "wheres you proof?" "Prove It"

I thought what smart hulk was talking about was basic human anture and self evident sociological fact.


Just because it seems obvious to you doesn't mean it's true. And comparing me insultingly to another user isn't a convincing argument.

theprisoner wrote:
Quote:
Our evidence points to a pattern of status exchange—that is, persons with high education from modest backgrounds tend to marry those with lower education from more privileged backgrounds.


Marrying Up by Marrying Down: Status Exchange between Social Origin and Education in the United States
Christine R. Schwartz, Zhen Zeng, Yu Xie
Sociological Science, November 28, 2016
DOI 10.15195/v3.a44
https://sociologicalscience.com/articles-v3-44-1003/

Now of course the education factor is the leverage to marry up in this study. But i believe it generally applies to all people. If you're Low status,( aka poor) barring great incompatibility, you will upgrade your status, if the opportunity arises, and is fairly agreeable. It's funny but money , wealth, status makes people do funny things. An average looking person all of a sudden becomes a lot more appealing, if they have status. You're gonna tell me this isn't a phenomenon?


That study is locked behind a paywall, but even the abstract doesn't support the claim that many people are pairing up "just for status". Firstly, status could be part of the reason without being the sole reason, and secondly, their findings suggest that people are marrying partners who have a mix of higher and lower status markers in different domains. And thirdly, the majority of people don't live in the United States, so a study that solely studied people in that one country can't really tell us about the majority of people.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 79,426
Location: Queens, NYC

06 Nov 2021, 7:44 am

People pair up because they want to pair up.

The reasons are numerous. Status, not being lonely, being in love with that person—and also, a combination of all these things.

And other reasons too numerous to mention in one post.



Skjald
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 25 Apr 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 56
Location: Europe

06 Nov 2021, 10:28 am

No.

I couldn’t care less about what other people think. I also despise opportunism.

I honestly don't give a s**t about societal status and what society tries to convince me was important or meant success in life in addition to that.
It’s not my important and not how I define success to start with.


_________________
“Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training, for it trains people as to how they shall think.”
- Arthur Schopenhauer


“The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.”
- Mikhail Bakunin


theprisoner
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2021
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,063
Location: Britain

06 Nov 2021, 10:40 am

The concept of "status" needs to be clearly defined. Everybody has their own idea , it's too ambiguous a term.


_________________
AQ: 27 Diagnosis:High functioning (just on the cusp of normal.) IQ:131 (somewhat inflated result but ego-flattering) DNA:XY Location: UK. Eyes: Blue. Hair: Brown. Height:6'1 Celebrity I most resemble: Tom hardy. Favorite Band: The Doors. Personality: uhhm ....(what can i say...we asd people are strange)


xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,867
Location: In my imagination

06 Nov 2021, 11:10 am

hurtloam wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
How much status are we talking here? Because spouse of a celebrity, probably not. Imperial Consort... I might need to consider it. :nerdy:


Oh I just mean some boring NT type who thinks they need an SUV and a house decorated with the latest trends. Latest nails, latest hair cut, latest clothes.

It depends on your social circle I guess. I was going to say someone with a fancy car, not someone who cycles everywhere, but in some circles the environmental middle class vegans in outdoor gear is the in thing.


I couldn’t date someone like that. There’s more to life than status and having the latest trends that will eventually go out of season.


_________________
“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre


Flown
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Sep 2016
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,044
Location: Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

06 Nov 2021, 11:33 am

hurtloam wrote:
Would you date or settle down with someone you didn't really love if they made you look better in the eyes of your family and peers?

Someone said in another thread that they would knock someone back because they would make them look bad, but what about the opposite?

Me, I wouldn't. I'm not really that bothered about what others think. I would rather be happy.


It makes no sense to me. Status has never been something I've been concerned with, so I cannot understand when people take this path.


_________________
ૂི•̮͡• ૂ ྀ


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,371
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

06 Nov 2021, 2:39 pm

theprisoner wrote:
The concept of "status" needs to be clearly defined. Everybody has their own idea , it's too ambiguous a term.


I realise than now, but I'm enjoying reading everyone's different interpretations and thoughts.