I'm back
I didnt end up going to the hospital but I took a break. I wasnt feeling well. I didn't fully recognize that. I never do. Even though I keep telling myself to remember.
I just couldnt do much for the past few days. I just felt panicked. I felt like I couldnt move and that everything was disconnected. It was interesting. Flashes of colour too. I also felt panic because I talked to a medium. They told me that I have really bad luck and that some life changing event was gonna happen. Weird things did happen. It's scary. They said I let a dangerous force into my life.
I still feel exhausted. I haven't really been sleeping. I have just been lying in bed awake or sitting in the rocking chair in my room. Although rocking isnt helping as much as it used to. It's like fear courses through my body. I start shaking and crying. Its been happening a lot lately. I keep having bad moments in public. I have had moments where I was screaming in public. I have had moments where I start to feel scared and my legs turn to jello and my adrenaline goes up.
Lately I feel lost. I feel like I will never fit in. I feel like I cant do much. I feel like I'm a burden.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I just couldnt do much for the past few days. I just felt panicked. I felt like I couldnt move and that everything was disconnected. It was interesting. Flashes of colour too. I also felt panic because I talked to a medium. They told me that I have really bad luck and that some life changing event was gonna happen. Weird things did happen. It's scary. They said I let a dangerous force into my life.
I still feel exhausted. I haven't really been sleeping. I have just been lying in bed awake or sitting in the rocking chair in my room. Although rocking isnt helping as much as it used to. It's like fear courses through my body. I start shaking and crying. Its been happening a lot lately. I keep having bad moments in public. I have had moments where I was screaming in public. I have had moments where I start to feel scared and my legs turn to jello and my adrenaline goes up.
Lately I feel lost. I feel like I will never fit in. I feel like I cant do much. I feel like I'm a burden.
Well I don't want to tell you want to do, but idk...I wouldn't put too much trust in a 'medium' a lot of them just use tricks to seem convincing but its really just a money maker to them, a lot are pretty insincere.
But seems you have a bit on your plate to deal with mental health wise, so does it really help to go pay someone to predict doom in your life? when you could instead spend some time focusing on things you enjoy or are interested in that make you feel good. So I'd say you should not waste time on going to see a medium, half of them probably just get a kick out of freaking people out. Seems all that medium did was create more anxiety for you.
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We won't go back.
glad you are with us. Self care always first, no guilt.
You are worthy of feeling safe, worthy of respect, worthy of good health, worthy of peace.
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https://oldladywithautism.blog/
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson
Cut out sugar, fat, dairy and caffeine. Diet is important if you want to feel strong.
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AQ: 27 Diagnosis:High functioning (just on the cusp of normal.) IQ:131 (somewhat inflated result but ego-flattering) DNA:XY Location: UK. Eyes: Blue. Hair: Brown. Height:6'1 Celebrity I most resemble: Tom hardy. Favorite Band: The Doors. Personality: uhhm ....(what can i say...we asd people are strange)
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