So how do I get a girl to go out with me?

Post Reply New Topic

You know what? Just forget the whole thing.

In the 20 years I've been an adult, there has never been one girl who has been interested in me. The only time I did have a girlfriend, she was an abusive narcissist who specifically targeted me for my vulnerability, and she told me she never would have dated me if she thought she could do better. And no other woman before that or in the 12+ years after has ever wanted to date me. This is not possible unless there is something fundamentally wrong with me. If it was possible for any woman to find me attractive, someone already would have by now. I'm only wasting my time trying.

I'm not talking about "a few shallow girls". I'm talking about every woman I've ever met in my entire life.

If it was only a few people here and there I had trouble with then it would be those people. But when its everyone I've ever known, then the problem is me.

I have put myself out there again and again, and got shot down every single time.

Just pretend you're James Bond. Maybe even study Sean Connery.

I have neither the good looks or the talent of Sean Connory.

OK, I think thousands people have been in your shoes before and then did have future success eventually.

Dating in the beginning sucks, especially for folks like us. I got hurt many many many times starting off, but I eventually got better at it, and you will too. Here's the best suggestions I can offer for someone your age. Also please realize that eventually young women grow up and the below things won't apply anymore.

Try to clear your mind and go to the gym.

Learn to play guitar.

Don't assume that girls are unattracted to you. I realized later I missed several opportunities.

If a girl wants to be friends with you, stay friends with her and don't try to date her.

Flirting is sometimes just Flirting. Don't get wrapped up in that, actual dating involves asking directly "do you want to date me".

Observation is key. What do you observe couples doing before they start dating. Try to read their body language and social cues.

Please please don't complain to potential girls that could be friends with you about your lack of social and dating skills.

You will be fine and you will be able to date, it's just going to rough and I'm sorry about that.

To dorkseid:

You've said earlier that you have a "girly" voice.

Therefore, the women most likely to be attracted to you physically would be bisexual/"pansexual" women. Therefore, you need to move to some place that has a significant LGBTQ+ population.

We've discussed this before. You said you can't afford to move. Hopefully you can afford to move after you finish your degree and maybe get a year or two of teaching experience. Even if you still can't afford to move to a coastal city, there are various cities in the upper MidWest that you could perhaps consider moving to, or perhaps Austin, TX.

Also, other factors being equal, you would probably get along best with a fellow ex-Muslim. Another reason you need to move to a more cosmopolitan city than you're living in now.