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skibum
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16 Nov 2021, 1:48 am

I have so many people saying and implying that about me that a part of me has to believe it's true. I can't survive it otherwise. I am so viscously psychologically and neurologically attacked all the time that if I try to fight it, the energy it takes to fight it literally cripples me. Part of me has to accept it or I have no ability to survive it. People ask me about my survival coping mechanism all the time. I just realized that this is one of them. It's sad and pathetic but it keeps me alive.


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traven
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16 Nov 2021, 2:28 am

never believe a common assumption
&
amongst the most usefull things is manure

nudge, why would a rebranded puritanical implement (eg,google) ban s**t but not suicide
-death-eaters* probably (*The Death Eaters are characters featured in the Harry Potter series of novels and films. They are a terrorist group of wizards and witches, led by the dark wizard Lord Voldemort, who seek to purify the wizarding community)



auntblabby
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16 Nov 2021, 2:53 am

the people who tell you that are made of the stuff themselves but just don't know it yet, they are waiting for you to tell it to their faces. ;)



skibum
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16 Nov 2021, 3:26 am

traven wrote:
never believe a common assumption
&
amongst the most usefull things is manure

nudge, why would a rebranded puritanical implement (eg,google) ban s**t but not suicide
-death-eaters* probably (*The Death Eaters are characters featured in the Harry Potter series of novels and films. They are a terrorist group of wizards and witches, led by the dark wizard Lord Voldemort, who seek to purify the wizarding community)
I am a big Harry Potter fan!! I also love "amongst the most useful things is manure!" That is brilliant!! Thank you.


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skibum
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16 Nov 2021, 3:27 am

auntblabby wrote:
the people who tell you that are made of the stuff themselves but just don't know it yet, they are waiting for you to tell it to their faces. ;)
:heart:


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CinderashAutomaton
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16 Nov 2021, 8:17 am

People say a lot things.

The truth of the matter is that perfect truths don't exist. Everything just exists in degrees of more or less wrong, and different systems of judgement we call 'perspectives'.

I completely agree with your implied determinism that some fights/arguments/discussions just aren't worth it. The cost vs benefit just makes some things a pointless affair. And even beyond that, you aren't obligated to lift others' ignorance.

That being said, letting other people win their arguments doesn't mean you have to accept their beliefs. Form your own via more legitimate systems, like philosophy. Moral philosophy has a lot of well thought-out ideas you can use to judge for yourself your own actions and beliefs, and the security of knowing that your reasoning comes from a better place than the haphazard emotional reasoning that most people employ should help you a fair bit to endure.

And even if you do determine with confident certainty that you do do some sh***y things, at least you're certain of it. A rather ambiguous saying that I like to use is that "You can't do what you don't know". If you want to improve, knowing where you stand is imperative to figuring out if you're actually improving or not, much less what direction to take to actually improve yourself.

In any case, certainty breed confidence. And for better or worse, confidence tends to be highly resistant to the pressure of beliefs of others.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Nov 2021, 10:02 am

You are not a piece of shit----but it is true that manure is the thing that has kept many people alive.



ASPartOfMe
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16 Nov 2021, 8:10 pm

You should not accept it. That does not mean you should waste too much precious mental energy fighting these wrong people because they are not worth it.


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SharonB
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16 Nov 2021, 9:25 pm

Today I was facing this myself. And nobody was saying it, I have COMPLETELY internalized it. So frustrating. I am beating others to the punch (on myself). I get triggered when folks get mildly frustrated, or I am afraid they will. It would be so nice to live proudly (enough) as myself. I can see it in my mind's eye and even pretend outwardly for some period of time, but to sustain it internally...

Sorry for the angst, pain, numbness --- whatever way you experience it. Bluck.

Wishing us an improved experience...



IsabellaLinton
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16 Nov 2021, 9:30 pm

Image

If you're the shite, they're the roll.



auntblabby
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16 Nov 2021, 9:53 pm

i'd say "if you're the $#!+ then they're the bowl.



autisticelders
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17 Nov 2021, 6:25 am

It is so difficult to keep from accepting the opinions of others, especially if we have been trained to be compliant and anxious to please others all our lives.

I had to get therapy to understand I have other choices I can make besides saying "yes" and accepting or agreeing with everything.

I had to get lessons in healthy communication and being self assertive in a healthy way. I needed an outsider to point out that I can choose how I react to others.

I needed to learn how to make better choices and to be true to myself, to know myself as somebody apart from those I depended on and had to learn how to love myself.

If you do not have a therapist, find one and if you do have one ask about learning how to be self assertive and how to communicate in healthier ways.

Getting therapy was so scary and emotionally painful but it was the best thing I ever did to help me through the rest of my life.
Wishing you all the best. (PS you know its not true, don't listen to them, you can find and learn new ways to deal with that sort of stuff, sometimes we just need somebody to teach us how).


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Last edited by autisticelders on 17 Nov 2021, 7:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

Joe90
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17 Nov 2021, 6:37 am

Have you ever murdered or raped anybody? If the answer is no (which is most likely) then you're not a piece of s**t.

Have a nice day.


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SharonB
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17 Nov 2021, 8:43 am

Joe90 wrote:
Have you ever murdered or raped anybody? If the answer is no (which is most likely) then you're not a piece of s**t.

Have a nice day.

Tangent: I know this is perspective but being pedantic I will point out that depending on the person, murderers and rapists who acted as POS can contribute positively at other times in life. Albeit there may be a lower probability based on nurture and nature. There was a great program on a 50-year-old convicted murderer (adolescent gang) who is paying it forward now. We happen to have a family friend convicted of murder (adolescent gang) - he just got out, in his early 40s?

@Joe90's, it's an interesting perspective. I'm beside myself worried about bad reactions and criticisms from people; worried enough to be sick and yet objectively I am doing much more good in this world than bad. I really like @autisticelders tip about assertiveness training. I did a little (online videos), but would benefit from more active assistance.



Double Retired
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17 Nov 2021, 11:55 am

skibum, I think it is much more likely you are different and they can't cope with that.


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17 Nov 2021, 1:14 pm

Some people call me a POS when I act honestly and intelligently in refusing to go along with their plans to cheat, lie, or steal from our employer.  Backing up the testimony of someone they have harassed or discriminated against also earns me their POS label.

But if I am a POS, then why is it they who get "flushed" out of a job?