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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 28 Apr 2017
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1

16 Nov 2021, 9:19 am

Guys I really need some help. Bit of background - for as long as I can remember I have always been terrible at receiving gifts and surprises. I always remember saying I hated surprises as a kid. I really don't like recieiving gifts, and I go through terrible amounts of stress when trying to buy gifts for people. To the point that these days I don't really bother much. At Christmas I tend to either make a nice little hamper of home-made jams and sauces and stuff. That some people may thik is cheaping out, but it's not, it's just that to me it seems like something that some thought and time and effort has gone into. Or, a lot of years I just don't buy gifts, and feel really guilty when people get me gifts but I haven't got them anything in return. EIther way it's just a lot of unneccesary stress for me.

So, this weekend is my Mum's 60th birthday. I really love my mum and she has given me the best life, I really want her to know I appreciate her and get her something good. I just don't have any idea where to start with something meaningful or good. Money isn't an issue. Ideas are. I don't want to cop out with buying alcohol or a gift card or something. I think Jewellery or something is a bad idea because I don't really know her taste, and let's face it, nobody is going out much at the moment in these Covid times. It's really starting to get to me that I don't want to disappoint my mum.


Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,677

16 Nov 2021, 9:24 am

I know what you mean, it is so stressful for me to pick gifts too. If jewellery is out of the question, how about another accessory? Like a knitted scarf or something? I generally buy accessories for my Mother.

Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

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Joined: 11 Jun 2021
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 190
Location: Canada

16 Nov 2021, 10:04 am

Random idea: Make a photo/image album that symbolizes memorable times throughout your life, and write a short sentence regarding your thoughts on your mother's influence on that time in your life. Do one item per page, with the line underneath. Maybe include things that can fit within the album if you can't find an appropriate photo or image.

Present it to her through a presentation, where you go through each photo one by one and just improvise a speech on your thoughts and feelings about it. Set it up on a big screen if you can. Add some background music for some nice emotional inspiration.

Also, maybe gift a boatload of random consumables or other small things, big enough for 'abundance' to be the clear message of your appreciation. Doesn't need to be fancy or expensive. Just needs to be stuff she enjoys or uses. Doesn't need to be food. Could also be winter gloves, socks, seeds, normal soap and shampoo, office supplies, a better umbrela, etc etc..

Yeah, I also stress out incessantly when it comes to gift-giving. Told everyone not to buy me gifts for my birthday or christmas. I just randomly give gifts when the opportunity presents itself and I'm feeling it.

Thank you deeply for sharing your experiences. I don't feel so alone anymore.


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Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 781

16 Nov 2021, 2:38 pm

Something that evokes pleasant memories such as a framed picture of her first house or the house she grew up in might be an idea.