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cyberdad
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24 Nov 2021, 12:38 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.

'Mid-20s is damn young



auntblabby
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24 Nov 2021, 1:34 am

cyberdad wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.

'Mid-20s is damn young

i'd give one of my nuts to get that back again.



cyberdad
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24 Nov 2021, 2:23 am

auntblabby wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.

'Mid-20s is damn young

i'd give one of my nuts to get that back again.


That's a mighty sacrifice blabs



auntblabby
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24 Nov 2021, 2:42 am

cyberdad wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.

'Mid-20s is damn young

i'd give one of my nuts to get that back again.


That's a mighty sacrifice blabs

tall orders often require tall sacrifices. i could always get me a "neuticle." :D



cyberdad
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24 Nov 2021, 2:45 am

The thought is making me cross my legs



hurtloam
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24 Nov 2021, 3:38 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
rse92 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
You guys need to stop comparing yourselves and focus on yourself.

There are plenty of Aspie men who are dating/married


There is no reason why a good number of autistic men cannot do the same things NT men do to become attractive to women:

1. Lose weight and get fit.
2. Be well groomed with an age appropriate haircut.
3. Wear clean well fitting age appropriate clothes.
4. Educate yourself -- you do not have to have a college degree to do that.
5. Get the best job or career you can. Be gainfully employed.
6. Save money, buy few frivolous things, and stay out of debt (Note: be careful of women with significant student or other debt).
7. Lay off the porn, anime, and computer games.
8. Buy enough of a car for you to comfortably afford and no more.

Jesus told the rich young man that in order to follow Him and receive the keys of the kingdom, the young man would have to sell everything. The young man could not do it. Can you do 1-8, and do you want to do 1-8?

I did not know I had autism until age 60. That diagnosis helped me understand why I was so lousy with girls before the age of 21. But I did 1-8 as a young man, and I have not been alone for over 40 years.


Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.


I scrolled back up to check your age after reading that and expected you to be in your 40s.

You're 25! That's young!

I went back to college at 25 and started a new career. It took a while to establish myself, but I had an ideal job now with lots of problem.solving and minimal contact with other people. It can be done



Sabreclaw
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24 Nov 2021, 7:23 am

hurtloam wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
rse92 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
You guys need to stop comparing yourselves and focus on yourself.

There are plenty of Aspie men who are dating/married


There is no reason why a good number of autistic men cannot do the same things NT men do to become attractive to women:

1. Lose weight and get fit.
2. Be well groomed with an age appropriate haircut.
3. Wear clean well fitting age appropriate clothes.
4. Educate yourself -- you do not have to have a college degree to do that.
5. Get the best job or career you can. Be gainfully employed.
6. Save money, buy few frivolous things, and stay out of debt (Note: be careful of women with significant student or other debt).
7. Lay off the porn, anime, and computer games.
8. Buy enough of a car for you to comfortably afford and no more.

Jesus told the rich young man that in order to follow Him and receive the keys of the kingdom, the young man would have to sell everything. The young man could not do it. Can you do 1-8, and do you want to do 1-8?

I did not know I had autism until age 60. That diagnosis helped me understand why I was so lousy with girls before the age of 21. But I did 1-8 as a young man, and I have not been alone for over 40 years.


Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.


I scrolled back up to check your age after reading that and expected you to be in your 40s.

You're 25! That's young!

I went back to college at 25 and started a new career. It took a while to establish myself, but I had an ideal job now with lots of problem.solving and minimal contact with other people. It can be done


It's hard to feel young when you're surrounded by people 5-7 years younger than you who have already achieved more in life and seem like all-around better functioning adults. I live on a university campus (studying CS) so most social and dating prospects I meet are significantly younger than me. And most people have a decade of relationship experience under their belts at 25 so there's that as well.

Also I actually like socializing... I'm just bad at it. Would have liked a more social career but it seems my natural talents lie in programming so it is what it is.



smudge
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24 Nov 2021, 7:29 am

^ I was made to feel terrible by other adults in my early 20s for not having accomplished enough, even two teachers who told me I was too old to do A-levels. It ruined my confidence, and they were totally wrong. Don't let people like that make you believe it's too late to do anything. Stay away from people who say they believe "realistically", they're usually miserable and most importantly, wrong. Their thinking is arrogant, negative and not realistic. Authority figures are more often wrong than right, especially teachers. Don't believe an authority figure just because they appear likely to be right - that's just an illusion. They're just people.


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rse92
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24 Nov 2021, 8:43 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
rse92 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
You guys need to stop comparing yourselves and focus on yourself.

There are plenty of Aspie men who are dating/married


There is no reason why a good number of autistic men cannot do the same things NT men do to become attractive to women:

1. Lose weight and get fit.
2. Be well groomed with an age appropriate haircut.
3. Wear clean well fitting age appropriate clothes.
4. Educate yourself -- you do not have to have a college degree to do that.
5. Get the best job or career you can. Be gainfully employed.
6. Save money, buy few frivolous things, and stay out of debt (Note: be careful of women with significant student or other debt).
7. Lay off the porn, anime, and computer games.
8. Buy enough of a car for you to comfortably afford and no more.

Jesus told the rich young man that in order to follow Him and receive the keys of the kingdom, the young man would have to sell everything. The young man could not do it. Can you do 1-8, and do you want to do 1-8?

I did not know I had autism until age 60. That diagnosis helped me understand why I was so lousy with girls before the age of 21. But I did 1-8 as a young man, and I have not been alone for over 40 years.


Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.


Do you think 25 is too old to do ANY of those things? Then you are a lost cause.



rse92
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24 Nov 2021, 8:45 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
rse92 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
You guys need to stop comparing yourselves and focus on yourself.

There are plenty of Aspie men who are dating/married


There is no reason why a good number of autistic men cannot do the same things NT men do to become attractive to women:

1. Lose weight and get fit.
2. Be well groomed with an age appropriate haircut.
3. Wear clean well fitting age appropriate clothes.
4. Educate yourself -- you do not have to have a college degree to do that.
5. Get the best job or career you can. Be gainfully employed.
6. Save money, buy few frivolous things, and stay out of debt (Note: be careful of women with significant student or other debt).
7. Lay off the porn, anime, and computer games.
8. Buy enough of a car for you to comfortably afford and no more.

Jesus told the rich young man that in order to follow Him and receive the keys of the kingdom, the young man would have to sell everything. The young man could not do it. Can you do 1-8, and do you want to do 1-8?

I did not know I had autism until age 60. That diagnosis helped me understand why I was so lousy with girls before the age of 21. But I did 1-8 as a young man, and I have not been alone for over 40 years.


Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.


I scrolled back up to check your age after reading that and expected you to be in your 40s.

You're 25! That's young!

I went back to college at 25 and started a new career. It took a while to establish myself, but I had an ideal job now with lots of problem.solving and minimal contact with other people. It can be done


It's hard to feel young when you're surrounded by people 5-7 years younger than you who have already achieved more in life and seem like all-around better functioning adults. I live on a university campus (studying CS) so most social and dating prospects I meet are significantly younger than me. And most people have a decade of relationship experience under their belts at 25 so there's that as well.

Also I actually like socializing... I'm just bad at it. Would have liked a more social career but it seems my natural talents lie in programming so it is what it is.


Do those things for yourself -- why give a sh-t about what anyone else thinks? If you do your life will most definitely improve. And there will come a time when women will look for a stable, solid man like yourself.

Your problem isn't autism -- it's depression (a co-morbidity). I get it; I have been flat on my back and lost everything. I suffered terrible depression. It took awhile, but I picked myself up and got my sh-t together.



Sabreclaw
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25 Nov 2021, 3:44 am

rse92 wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
rse92 wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
You guys need to stop comparing yourselves and focus on yourself.

There are plenty of Aspie men who are dating/married


There is no reason why a good number of autistic men cannot do the same things NT men do to become attractive to women:

1. Lose weight and get fit.
2. Be well groomed with an age appropriate haircut.
3. Wear clean well fitting age appropriate clothes.
4. Educate yourself -- you do not have to have a college degree to do that.
5. Get the best job or career you can. Be gainfully employed.
6. Save money, buy few frivolous things, and stay out of debt (Note: be careful of women with significant student or other debt).
7. Lay off the porn, anime, and computer games.
8. Buy enough of a car for you to comfortably afford and no more.

Jesus told the rich young man that in order to follow Him and receive the keys of the kingdom, the young man would have to sell everything. The young man could not do it. Can you do 1-8, and do you want to do 1-8?

I did not know I had autism until age 60. That diagnosis helped me understand why I was so lousy with girls before the age of 21. But I did 1-8 as a young man, and I have not been alone for over 40 years.


Not all of us have the benefit of youth on our side. Some of us squandered it and have wound up mid-20s with absolutely nothing to show for ourselves.


I scrolled back up to check your age after reading that and expected you to be in your 40s.

You're 25! That's young!

I went back to college at 25 and started a new career. It took a while to establish myself, but I had an ideal job now with lots of problem.solving and minimal contact with other people. It can be done


It's hard to feel young when you're surrounded by people 5-7 years younger than you who have already achieved more in life and seem like all-around better functioning adults. I live on a university campus (studying CS) so most social and dating prospects I meet are significantly younger than me. And most people have a decade of relationship experience under their belts at 25 so there's that as well.

Also I actually like socializing... I'm just bad at it. Would have liked a more social career but it seems my natural talents lie in programming so it is what it is.


Do those things for yourself -- why give a sh-t about what anyone else thinks? If you do your life will most definitely improve. And there will come a time when women will look for a stable, solid man like yourself.

Your problem isn't autism -- it's depression (a co-morbidity). I get it; I have been flat on my back and lost everything. I suffered terrible depression. It took awhile, but I picked myself up and got my sh-t together.


I appreciate the sentiment, but what other people think is pretty important when it comes to "love and dating". Doing your own thing without a care in the world is a very easy way to become a friendless virgin, and friendless virgins tend not to get very far in the dating world.