I feel like Im the only nd person with low empathy.

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Empathy?
Hyperempathy 13%  13%  [ 2 ]
Hypoempathy 67%  67%  [ 10 ]
Normal Empathy 20%  20%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 15

GhostBoy_Kas
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22 Nov 2021, 11:24 am

I feel like Im the only person who experiences low empathy in the neurodivergent community, mainly due to the fact that i see a lot of posts about how ¨Neurodivergent people experience hyperempathy!! ! low empathy bad¨, an drarely any about neurodivergent people who feel very little empathy (such as myself).
Im just curious if Im the only person who feels this way, and if Im one of the few that experiences low empathy


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22 Nov 2021, 11:32 am

Point number one: autistics are SUPPOSED to lack "empathy". Its supposed to be a diagnostic trait. So you complaining about how everyone thinks one thing, when in fact the stereotype is the opposite.

Point number two: Be aware that "empathy" is one thing, and "sympathy" is another. In general lay conversation folks use the two terms interchangeably. But shrinks use the words to mean two different things. "Empathy" means sensing what others are feeling. Sympathy is having similar feelings. Autistics can have sympathy for the suffering of others. But they lack theory of mind so they often fail to empathize with folks.



Erjoy29
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22 Nov 2021, 11:40 am

I think we all have empathy. It’s just that we experience it differently than most. Our understanding of people and world is different to most.

It’s esp easy to feel like we’re lacking empathy when so overstimulated that it’s hard to identify exactly what we are feeling. But it’s there.



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22 Nov 2021, 11:46 am

It puzzles me how empathy even comes up in day to day living. I don't ever remember having a conversation irl about empathy with anyone and certainly no one has ever pointed out to me the level of my empathy.



Joe90
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22 Nov 2021, 12:05 pm

GhostBoy_Kas wrote:
I feel like Im the only person who experiences low empathy in the neurodivergent community, mainly due to the fact that i see a lot of posts about how ¨Neurodivergent people experience hyperempathy!! ! low empathy bad¨, an drarely any about neurodivergent people who feel very little empathy (such as myself).
Im just curious if Im the only person who feels this way, and if Im one of the few that experiences low empathy


What makes you think that though? Maybe you think you lack empathy but really you don't.


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theprisoner
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22 Nov 2021, 12:35 pm

I have selective empathy. Meaning i'm analytically mostly. I'm more likely to feel something fora animal or a fictional character in a movie, than with regular people. Threshold for empathy is context dependent, also biological state dependent. I think i remember feeling empathy as a kid, like a psychical reflex, watching somebody get hurt. But i dont ever hardly feel anything like that now. The news doesnt upset me, dead bodies dont upset me. Automatic empathy is actually a bad thing. Such an unregulated flight or flight response must be hell on the nervous system, so im actually glad my empathy is the where it stands. It fluctuated though. one moment i can be cold as ice (analytical), next warmer (interpersonal sympathy) I feel for others, only when given enough reason to though, or i connect with something, it has to be specific, selective, that i identify with on some level. I'm not cold blooded but i'm not a person who bursts out crying all the time also. yes, low empathy is listed as a trait. I just might have no mirror neurons, or faulty mirror neurons.


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22 Nov 2021, 12:49 pm

theprisoner wrote:
I think i remember feeling empathy as a kid, like a psychical reflex, watching somebody get hurt.


I get that. Always have and still do now. I struggle with emotional empathy. I don't react when someone is suffering emotionally.



theprisoner
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22 Nov 2021, 12:52 pm

I know i'm not as reactive as other people at distressing situations, yet things that don't effect other people can effect me, things they're oblivious to. What i feel strongly about may differ than the average person.


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22 Nov 2021, 1:07 pm

If you don't wanna see idiots saying low empathy is bad, I'd suggest leaving Tumblr. That's where the majority of people saying that kinda stuff comes from.
Personally, I'm noticing that I have low "empathy", because I don't feel the same emotions that others do. I sometimes pretend to, because I can intellectually understand how someone feels a certain way, but just them feeling like that won't make me change at all. Again, I can pretend to feel that way, but I don't feel something just because someone else does. I learned that was strange when I was venting to my mom and got her stressed out. That's when I realized that others, like, Bluetooth connect their brains together to sync emotions.
You can be super emotional, but only for yourself. Feeling emotions and empathy are completely different things. In my brain, there is a clear line between the two.

There is plenty of people who say s**t like that. It may be hard, but I suggest redirecting your attention away from places with people you don't feel like you fit in with. I used to try to fit in on Tumblr, because some of the posts are very good and correct, and the age group is closer to mine, but I obviously wasn't welcome there.
Idk if you were there, or somewhere else, or even here, but my best advice is to not force yourself to be anywhere where you don't like the other people. Pretty impossible for us autistic people, but just go where it feels right.



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22 Nov 2021, 1:09 pm

I actually struggle to believe that there is even such a thing as empathy.



Joe90
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22 Nov 2021, 10:10 pm

From what I am often told empathy is on this forum, it seems that all empathy is is awareness of what you're saying to another person.


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22 Nov 2021, 10:38 pm

GhostBoy_Kas wrote:
I feel like Im the only person who experiences low empathy in the neurodivergent community, mainly due to the fact that i see a lot of posts about how ¨Neurodivergent people experience hyperempathy!! ! low empathy bad¨, an drarely any about neurodivergent people who feel very little empathy (such as myself).
Im just curious if Im the only person who feels this way, and if Im one of the few that experiences low empathy

Not me.
In fact, I'd deny either sensitivity or insensitivity on the matter.
Sensitivity more so -- others would likely claim I'm more empathic than I claim to be and I sometimes I don't like it.

I do not ever equate, associate nor emphasize having more or having less empathy towards the entirety of neurodivergence in general.
It's not something I attribute towards to because I see empathy as a two way thing and never in favor of one.

And definitions of empathy is blurry.
It takes context to refer which -- the part that can socially read and mentally resonate, the part that emotionally resonate, or the part that has involves compassion?


Why do you think so yourself?

Are you also struggling with alexithymia?
It comes in many forms, all struggling with related to interpersonal relations and emotions in some ways, and are not even limited to NDs.

Or perhaps you're sick of other's projections on how empathy is defined? :lol: Or maybe the part where people mistook emotional sensitivity and sympathy for empathy?


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23 Nov 2021, 2:41 am

people get empathy and compassion confused

they are not the same thing



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23 Nov 2021, 2:43 am

Joe90 wrote:
From what I am often told empathy is on this forum, it seems that all empathy is is awareness of what you're saying to another person.


look up the dictionary definition

empathy is sharing and understanding the other 9ersons feelings


compassion is concern for

will people stop mixing this up, even mhs gets it wrong



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23 Nov 2021, 2:45 am

babybird wrote:
I actually struggle to believe that there is even such a thing as empathy.


there is maybe, but compassion is real



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23 Nov 2021, 2:46 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
From what I am often told empathy is on this forum, it seems that all empathy is is awareness of what you're saying to another person.


look up the dictionary definition

empathy is sharing and understanding the other 9ersons feelings


compassion is concern for

will people stop mixing this up, even mhs gets it wrong


doing my head in

I'm compassionate but not empathic