its OK if you can't keep a job, sometimes we simply can't do what we want to because our neurology or biochemistry, etc interferes. that is not your fault. Our daughter got disability after trying several times, but she got distressed, anxious and had delusions which made it simply impossible for her. There is no shame in needing help, and programs like disability are meant for those of us who truly do struggle with working, need extra help and support. As time goes on things may change, but for now, if you need the help, it is not shameful or wrong to ask for it. Keep us posted.