Explaining it vs living IT

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I have about four score of living me; but only months of being an "AS student-expeiencer!" And, things do not all fit too well.

It may be that they fit as a rubic cube, but not as a rubic cube at a specific setting. And it may be somthing all together wildly different.

I get gobs of neuro-biochemical & historical how-whys it is what it is. But, that is different from my lived "IT." (Capitalized "IT" is what my 80-ish years of "differencing-ness" feels IT is.) The two are/seem too very different.

At present, I'm thinking-feeling it's prose vs poetry too mixed up to be able to tell my IT, or many of the various other WP "IT's" I'm now reading about.

I know that aerodynamics and hydrodynamics can be seen as as a single description applied to media of different "thickness and thin-ness," properties, at least "semi-allegorically(???)."

But the poetry of hawks soaring in thermals, of salmon leaping above falls and of seals surfing in ocean waves are completely missed. And, my 80-ish years of "IT" living, is similarly competely missed.

There is good and bad, silly and exhilerating in those years. Call it poetry maybe; but it needs to be better known-shown! Is this relateable to any WP-ers, or am I not getting it at all still?

Lo siento.

No comprende.

i dont know wtf it is wtf lol

maybe belongs in poetry forum.

"The Tao which can be described is not the real Tao."
IT is singular, and cannot be described in dualistic ways.

I need to translate this before I re-read it. I'm too slow otherwise. Are you saying:

"I have a 4 out of 10 experience of living with autism, but only months of knowing about it. In other words I know a bit about who I am but not what makes me autistic.

I dont understand what part of the rubic cube fits where. In other words I don't know how to identify autism in my life and experiences and where to find it or how to understand it as a full picture.

You get chunks (I never heard about the word gobs before but I'll assume it means chunks) of psychological and historical explanations, and you don't understand why autism is that way. But that's different from your lived experience with autism. You have 80 years of being different from others and you believe feeling different is close to the definition. But they seem too different, your experiences in comparison with the definitions of autism.

You believe you have it mixed up too much, like prose and poetry mixed together, so you can't distinguish anymore what's what, what's autism and what's norm and what you're reading on WP is just as confusing as your 80 years of living.

You know that different things that aren't the same can be found similarities between. But when air itself and waterborne creatures come together, the in between and understanding how that happens just blows your mind and is beyond your capacity to understand.

You've lived many states but you desire for it to be better shown and understood (whether from yourself or others, maybe both). Your 80 years of living with autism you feel are pointless to understanding it, as you did not see it in them and still don't. "

Welcome to Autism Forums. I hope you have a nice time and get to understand how you are more, give it lots of time and patience, trust me, you need it. Meanwhile hang around and keep replying about your experiences alongside others and things you relate to.

I relate to this the most. I wouldn't want to explain why.

To Rexi: Thanks very much!! (I will have to read yout post several times to "get it" all.)

You are the first, in my life who I think "gets" my words the way I wrote/meant the words!!(Too very true!!, not me scamming in any way!!) I'm in tears, again-still, of at last deepest relief++. Thanks!

I'm similarly too slow in/with NT things, but it's for the long times to process too many things and their combinatorics kin-forms!!

All your surmises, extrapolations and insight conclusions are more than correct. There are more nuances, etc., etc., but they are "me" specific and may not be of interest, except for the "hawks-salmon-seals" analogies.

That my soul soars so fully, as they do in their different media, as I do/can in my "IT" medium is an AS part not well shown/known that I feel is missed to all!! It's so too real to me that I do cry oft of/in many gobs, yes chunks, of IT.

My (4 score = 80) years has been truly an unbelievably joyous, satisfying, & exhilarating "different!," (and sure, with lots of bads too!) My best is my poetry part, that often clashes with the prose-ish parts, but is always in parallel also true, (even when deep into the horrors that WPers relate.)

To fully see and be is god's (and God's) greatest gift to me/us ! ! At least that's how I see/live it/IT.

I'm in danger of pointless rambling-on now, so let me quit!

Thanks again,
Ronglxy

On showing "AS" soaring and such, by experts:

https://youtu.be/wu-X_u-gVtg

Thats a cool video. Of sealions having a ball body surfing.

Not sure what it has to do with the topic of this thread, but it's cool.

Its a "shown" example of the main theme of stuff in previous parts of the thread isseu.

Thats a compliment ive been looking for my whole life. I knew i might be good at interpreting peoples words but not that good. I've had my share of expressing things in various ways and nobody to understand them. Its fulfilment is like trying to encompass the mystery of the expansion of the universe and how the multiplying of such matter comes into play and pushes everything apart. But the more you know, the more questions arise. Being oneself is an unending trip of knowledge.