Do you believe in authenticity/being yourself?

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BugsBunnyFan
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08 Dec 2021, 5:06 pm

I kind of don’t. None of those are well-defined terms. I guess a better term for me would be sustainable. I can sustain changing the way my voice sounds since I hate my natural voice with a passion. I’m used to changing it, so it’s no big deal for me most of the time. I can also dress in a way where I more or less blend in, but still express myself. I like style to communicate for me a lot of the time. I’ve also tried to get better at keeping up with current events to avoid talking about special interests.



Fnord
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08 Dec 2021, 5:11 pm

Back in the day, when I would try to "be myself", others told me that I should stop trying to be someone else.  These were the same people who told me to be myself in the first place.  Nowadays, being myself means not caring what other people think in regard to whom or what I should and should not be.  I feel better for it, too.



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08 Dec 2021, 5:23 pm

I don't worry much at all about trying to be what someone else wants me to be.



JourneyFan
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08 Dec 2021, 5:56 pm

I have never been too sure what "being yourself" actually means. I feel like I change to fit in with people at work etc. I work as a hotel receptionist and I am always polite to guests checking in and smile at them - but to me that is not who I am. I suppose I am good at acting!
However, I don't follow fashions (never have) and I prefer to wear all black clothing as it makes me inconspicuous. I guess that is being myself?



BugsBunnyFan
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08 Dec 2021, 5:59 pm

JourneyFan wrote:
I have never been too sure what "being yourself" actually means. I feel like I change to fit in with people at work etc. I work as a hotel receptionist and I am always polite to guests checking in and smile at them - but to me that is not who I am. I suppose I am good at acting!
However, I don't follow fashions (never have) and I prefer to wear all black clothing as it makes me inconspicuous. I guess that is being myself?

I guess being polite or nice could be seen as fake. I do it because it makes other people easier to deal with.



theprisoner
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08 Dec 2021, 6:08 pm

JourneyFan wrote:
I have never been too sure what "being yourself" actually means. I feel like I change to fit in with people at work etc. I work as a hotel receptionist and I am always polite to guests checking in and smile at them - but to me that is not who I am. I suppose I am good at acting!
However, I don't follow fashions (never have) and I prefer to wear all black clothing as it makes me inconspicuous. I guess that is being myself?


I wear alot of black too. I just like that color. I think it means just to be comfortable and not put on a pretense. I could put on a business suit and the accoutrements and pretend im wealthy. but it woudl be a facade that would crumble. I wouldn't be "being myself" which is broke lol


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JourneyFan
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08 Dec 2021, 6:17 pm

theprisoner wrote:
JourneyFan wrote:
I have never been too sure what "being yourself" actually means. I feel like I change to fit in with people at work etc. I work as a hotel receptionist and I am always polite to guests checking in and smile at them - but to me that is not who I am. I suppose I am good at acting!
However, I don't follow fashions (never have) and I prefer to wear all black clothing as it makes me inconspicuous. I guess that is being myself?


I wear alot of black too. I just like that color. I think it means just to be comfortable and not put on a pretense. I could put on a business suit and the accoutrements and pretend im wealthy. but it woudl be a facade that would crumble. I wouldn't be "being myself" which is broke lol


I am only truly comfortable in my own home with my husband and kids. I believe I have spent most of my life hiding who I really am so that I can fit in with those around me. I was often called "weird" at primary school which upset me so I guess I probably stopped being myself around that time.



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08 Dec 2021, 6:18 pm

I think the more dedicated writers on this topic [Kierkegaard/Sartre] were concerned with being authentic to ones-self - by avoiding self deception.

Quote:
Authenticity is a concept of personality in the fields of psychology, existential psychotherapy, existentialist philosophy, and aesthetics. In existentialism, authenticity is the degree to which a person's actions are congruent with his or her values and desires, despite external pressures to social conformity. The conscious Self comes to terms with the condition of Geworfenheit, of having been thrown into an absurd world (without values and without meaning) not of his or her own making, thereby encountering external forces and influences different from and other than the Self.[2] In human relations, a person’s lack of authenticity is considered bad faith in dealing with other people and with one's self; thus, authenticity is in the instruction of the Oracle of Delphi: “Know thyself.”[3]


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authenticity_(philosophy)



theprisoner
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08 Dec 2021, 6:24 pm

A lot of people values are prepackaged and downloaded from their culture. Being authentic to to yourself sometimes means being a misfit. SO it that senses, i am authentic. Extremely and awkwardly SO.


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08 Dec 2021, 6:28 pm

I very much like the idea of being myself and being authentic as opposed to being a fake. I don't do much pretending, but the way I behave towards people can be rather different to the way I'd behave if I just let myself go. I feel I have to filter everything so as not to hurt people's feelings or weird them out. I used to feel it as a great strain having to be that way, particularly not feeling allowed to lose my temper and tell people what I think of them, but I suppose over the years I've become used to it. I don't think it's wise to throw all discretion and inhibition to the winds. I think the idea of being yourself just means try not to interfere with your nature so much that you become a complete fake, don't lose yourself in social gloss and schmooze. I don't think there's much chance of that happening to me. I can't even pretend to be interested in what somebody's telling me, I'd feel I was being dishonest if I did.

I do notice that some people come over as more genuine than others, and I prefer those who do, even if they're grumpy. I don't like having to figure out whether people mean it when they give me compliments, and if they don't truly like something about me, I wish they wouldn't tell me that they did. I can't stand it when somebody posts a picture of a their kids on social media and a load of people wade in saying how beautiful they are. I don't believe they all really think that, I think most of them just make it up to ingratiate themselves. I wouldn't like myself if I did that.



pepperjelly
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08 Dec 2021, 6:28 pm

No I believe "my true self" is never good enough so am always working on a better mask to present to the world.



kraftiekortie
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08 Dec 2021, 6:37 pm

I believe in "being polite." It's not really "faking."

When I was in my 20s, I used to want to present a "rebellious, Beat image." People saw right through me. I was actually a very "square" type. So I acted more like myself as I got older. I acted like a person who likes to dress sort of conservatively----but is "liberal" in thought.

People tend to associate "being nasty" with "being real." I really don't agree with that.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 08 Dec 2021, 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

xxZeromancerlovexx
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08 Dec 2021, 6:39 pm

kokopelli wrote:
I don't worry much at all about trying to be what someone else wants me to be.


I try not to worry about what other people want me to be but sometimes, I do feel the pressure. That feeling usually subsides in a day or two.

Being my true self and being authentic is difficult sometimes for me due to masking.


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theprisoner
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08 Dec 2021, 6:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I believe in "being polite." It's not really "faking."


Yes, being polite is necessary up to a point. If we're talking about social manners etc. Fake is lying about important things. And presenting yourself as something you're not, in other words deception. It's being a con-man in its most malignant form or a poseur in a more benign form.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Dec 2021, 7:17 pm

You're not "faking" if you treat people like you want to be treated.



CinderashAutomaton
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08 Dec 2021, 9:36 pm

As far as other people are concerned...honestly, I learned that most people just believe a load of hogwash; jumbled together, accidental messes from the bad side of emergent complexity. I stopped taking most people's advice awhile ago.

I just do what I need to do.

The idea of 'being' myself never made sense to me. I wasn't the type to fake success. Attempting to weave and maintain a web of lies was far far far more work than reward, and no matter what you'll always be found out unless people just don't even care to bother. Instead, trust was a far more valuable resource to build on.

At the same time, though, if I didn't catter to the whims of the less ethical and intelligent people with power over me I'd only suffer for it and gain nothing, not to mention how useless trust is when the ethically compromised are involved. And I'm a strong proponent of mutualism, so I don't care to treat people who'd harm me with much ethical consideration.

And in any case, the bigger issue regarding 'myself' had always been who I am (as in, I had no idea), which often went by the wayside because of the more pressing problem of how to deal with all the problems I was facing, and the mountainous lack of answers to all my questions.

So my answer would be no, I don't believe it because for me it's a stupid idea.


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