Toxic Job on Lockdown

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I work in a nursing home that is kind of a big corporation. As in, lots of other locations nationwide. I'm not going to be naming the company because I still work there and I don't want to get fired because they find this post. I am in the food service department as a waitress.

Where to begin...I started this job this summer. Went well at first, then started getting crap from other employees. We locked down in Fall due to some occupants contracting the virus. During this time, I was subjected to abusive remarks by the caregivers. These remarks included (With context):

"You take forever, you should have started (getting everything ready) as soon as you walked in the door." (I tend to take my time with getting things ready, mostly due to my disability, but I manage to get them done in a timely manner. I was asked to push a water cart around while I took dinner orders, hence my unintentional tardiness.)

"NO!! ! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ENTER THE ROOM AND DELIVER THE MEAL!! !" (This was screamed at me from down the hall. My instructions were to leave the food outside the room and the care managers would deliver it. Even worse, she just walked out of the room without ANY PPE on her!) I went to HR, who dealt with the abuse and told me that: "I might HAVE to go into the room even if I don't want to. But we will provide you with PPE." Now, before you call me entitled, please know that I have an underlying health condition which can make COVID worse for me. And while I am fully vaccinated and boosted, as well as the other employees, this new variant is highly contagious...and scary!! !

This instance was the straw that broke the camel's back: The other worker said he would take the second floor. This was after weeks of him sticking me with doing ALL the floors. I did the entire first floor, and came back to him sitting there chatting with another employee. I reminded him about doing the second floor and he remarked: "Are you my boss?!" While pointing at me. When I told the HR manager, she laughed! And told me that "He may have reacted that way because he saw you as being bossy." Karma wrecked him, though. On the last day of that lockdown, my boss told him to take ALL the orders while I had the easy part of refilling the salt shakers. Yay!

After we reopened, things got a bit better. We had a lot of Christmas events and the new evening shift caregiver we hired is VERY sweet. However, 2 employees, one of which who works in my department, came down with the virus this past week. (Again, cannot give full details as I don't need to be fired.) We shut down quickly, but would not be tested until 2 days later. When that happened, 2 occupants and one more employee came down with the virus.

After I heard the employees came down with the virus, I asked if I could have an N95 mask. I was denied by HR because: "It's only the employees that got sick, not the residents." I asked for the mask in the first place to protect myself in case...oh, I don't know...one of the residents caught the virus and could transmit it to me!! !! I later come to find out that one of the employees who got sick...Wasn't. Even. Wearing. His. Mask. When he was talked to about it, he threw an adult sized temper tantrum that would make Karen adopt him. And guess what? He got away with it somehow!! ! No wonder people got sick!! !

Guys, I'm afraid. Really afraid. At this point, it might not even be a matter of if I get the virus, but when I get the virus. Because I know I'm going to be made to go into that room and expose myself to this deadly bug. It feels as though this company has no regard for their employees, as they tolerate abuse and don't provide basic protection. This toxic job has taken a toll on my Mental Health as my anxiety spikes, my depression gets worse, I feel unfulfilled, and I dread going to work in the morning.

Believe me when I say that I am doing everything I can to get out of there. I have places to work in mind that are in my field of study. (Psychology, in case you couldn't tell by my username, lol.) I have cover letters written, waiting to hear back from people at my old college who are reviewing my stuff, updating my resume, and have 4 versions of my resignation letter ready to go.

Thank you for at least reading, if that. I'll answer any comments or questions as best I can without disclosing full details. Any advice or kind words are appreciated. And once again...Thank You.

Yep. Terrible situation.

I hope you could get a better job soon.

Thank you. I hope so too...

I too hope you soon get another job.

What kind of job are you looking for in the psych field, by the way, and what is your long-term career goal?

There is certainly plenty of need for people in the psych field, on both the research end and the therapy end, who are knowledgeable about adult autism.

And hopefully there will be more and more recognition of the need for autistic and otherwise neurodivergent people, themselves, in these fields.

To that end, we need professional associations of same. This past year, the Association of Neurodivergent Therapists was founded, based in the U.K. Hopefully someone soon will create a similar org based here in North America. Also I hope someone soon will create a professional association of autistic autism researchers.