What point does being quiet become a problem ?

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I feel the last few evenings around dinner time, I don't always want to talk at the table despite having something on my mind especially when the attention is focused on my two year old nephew and I'll just stay quiet until everyone is finished and then I just go back upstairs and finish doing what doing sometimes as means to get someone to notice if there is a problem behind me being quiet.

I usually am quiet. When I was a kid people would comment about me being too quiet. But when I would talk I would get in trouble for being rude, offensive or mean, or others would tune me out or cut me off because they thought I was too ret*d to possibly comprehend what they were talking about & actually have anything of value to contribute. It's ironic that I'm too ret*d to have anything worthwhile to contribute but I deserved to get punished for being rude/offensive/mean because I must be smart enough to understand why what I said & did was wrong I fail to comprehend this logic I'm d@maned if I do & d@maned if I don't. It's easier for me to be quiet instead of wasting my breath trying to talk to others who won't listen to me & I didn't get punished for being too quiet so I learned it's better for me to be quiet.

↑ I can identify with this.

If I said nothing:
• I was guilty of something.
• I was plotting something else.
• I believed I was "too good" to talk to others.

If I spoke up:
• I was a "dumbass" if anyone disbelieved.
• I was a "smartass" if what I said was true.
• I was lying if someone had already decided I was guilty.

Life sucked as a kid.

^ I was very unexpressive around adults as a kid, to the point they would criticize me for it. I was a bit more expressive around other kids. I had a certain comradery with my peers, and I/we felt like every adult was an enemy. I was either quiet, or acting up.

I'm not like that anymore. I can be stone faced, reserved, in the presence of strangers, but I'm more versatile. In fact, if i know you and like you, I could talk your head off. But if you're stranger, I'm just unemotional and formal, bare minimum communication.

Oh yeah, and if i ever get angry,all that goes out the window, i'm the opposite of quiet. When angry, all my social inhibitions just seem to vanish into thin air. Problem is you cant stay in that zone 24/7.

sometimes making too much noise is a problem.

sometimes not making enough noise is a problem.

every situation different.

It's a catch 22. If I say too much, my family doesn't like it. If I say too little, my family doesn't like it.

I can actually be very good with people now,as an adult. If I'm "ON." my quick wit and sharp mind, and excellent memory makes me a kind of comedian with people. A jester., But it's all superficial. I'd rather be a clown with people, thats my default mode now. As a kid i was either quiet, or the kid that would do and say inappropriate things, unintentionally humorous, naivete, social faux pass. Kinda like now actually. lol. More things change, more they stay the same. I try to be intentionally funny though now. And I'm alot smarter.

If I spoke up I was told to stop whining even if I wasn't.

Teachers would tell me to stop raising my hand for every question, and then mark me down for not participating.

the hindus call this a "hellworld" for good reason.

Assumptions of either included and not limited to signs of shyness, loneliness, illness, observation, distraction, indifference, anger, guilt, plotting or arrogance.

Any traits can be projected and attributed to this rather 'unresponsive' "choice" of behavior.



Maybe being quiet just means unpredictable by simply giving nothing to work with. So just throw assumptions.

And not something as overt like loud utter weirdness of spouting gibberish or performing cartwheels in public.

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