Internet Backs Woman - Allowed Her Child to Curse at woman

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ASPartOfMe
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13 Jan 2022, 8:13 am

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The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store and the events have now gone viral on the web.

The author of the post, u/ladyjuststop, took to Reddit's infamous "Am I The A**hole" forum on Wednesday in order to get feedback from the community whether she was indeed the a**hole or not in her situation.

To start off the story, u/ladyjuststop explained that her husband was staying with his mother because they are in isolation, so the Redditor stayed with her three kids — aged 5,8 and 12. And, because getting her groceries delivered would take too long, she took an emergency trip to the store.

"8 is on the spectrum and has trouble in places like grocery stores. I gave him an iPad with cellular and over the ear headphones. He should be good to go. He doesn't like loud noises or strangers touching him," she said

She went into more detail about how her eldest son dis a good job in helping take care of his brothers. He was helping her out when her youngest child was throwing unwanted junk food in the cart.

The eldest child grabbed u/ladyjuststop's attention, letting her know that something is wrong, as the woman behind them began pestering them.

The older woman complained about kids and their obsession with technology while trying to get the middle child's attention in the cart. The stranger told the Reddit user that her kids are rude because they were ignoring her.

‘8 starts to cry, the first sign of a meltdown with him. 12 turns to the old woman and says, 'you stupid b***h he's autistic'.

When trying to leave the store, security stopped u/ladyjuststop to inform her that she needed to take her middle child to her car. "He has autism, and he's going to have a major meltdown." she said.

The post has 13,000 upvotes and 917 comments so far.


“Leave my brother alone”, “mind your own B I business” would have been a better choice of words instead of the misogynistic one but otherwise good brother.


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13 Jan 2022, 10:47 am

The fact the 12 year old was allowed to call a woman a b***h is concerning. That is misogyny and it's no different than calling a black person the N word or a disabled person the R word even if they are acting like that woman. There are other words to use besides demeaning language.


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magz
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13 Jan 2022, 10:59 am

The choice of words could have been better but the old lady should have indeed minded her own business instead of pestering children she did not know.


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funeralxempire
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13 Jan 2022, 11:01 am

Sounds like boundaries were effectively enforced.


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13 Jan 2022, 11:14 am

League_Girl wrote:
The fact the 12 year old was allowed to call a woman a b***h is concerning. That is misogyny and it's no different than calling a black person the N word or a disabled person the R word even if they are acting like that woman. There are other words to use besides demeaning language.

I'm wondering - genuinely wondering, as a non-American and not even a native English speaker:
Is "you stupid b***h" fundamentally worse from e.g. gender neutral "you dumb f**k"?
To me, offensiveness of the two feels roughly equal.


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13 Jan 2022, 11:37 am

Newsweek

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The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store . . .
This is how Toxic Males are made.



funeralxempire
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13 Jan 2022, 11:45 am

Fnord wrote:
Newsweek
Quote:
The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store . . .
This is how Toxic Males are made.


Having to deal with toxic Karens? :scratch:


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Fnord
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13 Jan 2022, 11:46 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Newsweek
Quote:
The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store . . .
This is how Toxic Males are made.
Having to deal with toxic Karens?
Not being discouraged from showing aggression and contempt toward women.



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13 Jan 2022, 11:50 am

I agree with a lot of comments here that the eldest child could have chosen better language (even “you dumb f***” would have been better as it lacks the mysogynistic connotation of the “female dog” word), though I’m still wholly on his side of things. That Karen needed to mind her own business.

The only potential problem I see here is the eldest child being made to help parent his younger siblings.


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13 Jan 2022, 11:52 am

Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Newsweek
Quote:
The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store . . .
This is how Toxic Males are made.
Having to deal with toxic Karens?
Not being discouraged from showing aggression and contempt toward women.


Sometimes being assertive or even borderline aggressive at nosy Karens is completely justified.


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13 Jan 2022, 11:55 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Sounds like boundaries were effectively enforced.


Agreed.


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13 Jan 2022, 11:56 am

Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Newsweek
Quote:
The internet defended a woman who allowed her child to curse at a woman while in the grocery store . . .
This is how Toxic Males are made.
Having to deal with toxic Karens?
Not being discouraged from showing aggression and contempt toward women.


Aggression and contempt was earned by the strangers inability to maintain a reasonable boundary. When people fail to mind their own business they will be told to mind their own business.


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Fnord
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13 Jan 2022, 11:58 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Aggression and contempt was earned by the strangers inability to maintain a reasonable boundary. When people fail to mind their own business they will be told to mind their own business.
I understand the concept of "Fight fire with fire".  What I do not understand is fighting fires with nuclear weapons.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.



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13 Jan 2022, 12:12 pm

Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Aggression and contempt was earned by the strangers inability to maintain a reasonable boundary. When people fail to mind their own business they will be told to mind their own business.
I understand the concept of "Fight fire with fire".  What I do not understand is fighting fires with nuclear weapons.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.


I'm not sure that was a nuclear weapon, I'd suggest it was more of a precision guided munition. It's not like the kid resorted to violence or threat of violence, they just said a moderately taboo word.

I don't expect children to be as articulate or precise with language as adults but being inarticulate doesn't eliminate one's right to maintain and enforce boundaries, especially on behalf of one's younger siblings.


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13 Jan 2022, 12:30 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Aggression and contempt was earned by the strangers inability to maintain a reasonable boundary. When people fail to mind their own business they will be told to mind their own business.
I understand the concept of "Fight fire with fire".  What I do not understand is fighting fires with nuclear weapons.  Metaphorically speaking, of course.
I'm not sure that was a nuclear weapon, I'd suggest it was more of a precision guided munition. It's not like the kid resorted to violence or threat of violence, they just said a moderately taboo word.  I don't expect children to be as articulate or precise with language as adults but being inarticulate doesn't eliminate one's right to maintain and enforce boundaries, especially on behalf of one's younger siblings.
You could be right.  I am just concerned whether the kid will grow up to be a man who respects women, or one who treats them with contempt and violence.



ASPartOfMe
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13 Jan 2022, 5:57 pm

League_Girl wrote:
The fact the 12 year old was allowed to call a woman a b***h is concerning. That is misogyny and it's no different than calling a black person the N word or a disabled person the R word even if they are acting like that woman. There are other words to use besides demeaning language.

Going PPR here if the boy called the nag the N-Word the reaction would have exact opposite. That tells me misogyny is an acceptable prejudice.

funeralxempire wrote:
Having to deal with toxic Karens? :scratch:

Was I saying something about acceptable prejudice?

Rhetorical question, why is “systematic misogyny” a rare expression?


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