Do women over-respond to being sexualized compared to men?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 4,819
Location: canada

16 Jan 2022, 1:02 pm

I was watching this video here where this new host of this youtube channel goes on about how she is glad she is not I guess you could say, masturbation material for whoever, if I am being too unsubtle on here, I apologize. But here's the video. She says it 30 seconds into the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E57rCogqRQ

But I was wondering why do women respond much harsher at being sexualized compared to men? For example, you see a lot of threads on dating forums such as this one when a woman comes across her male partner, and catches him watching porn and then she responds by being shocked from it. But if a guy catches his female SO with porn, his respond is more like whatever, no big deal, that's normal...

But when it comes to the celebrity world there is also a shift in Hollywood now to not have women look as sexually attractive as they did before. Scarlet Johannson slammed Hollywood for sexualizing her in the past, for playing Black Widow, even though I didn't think Black Widow was that sexualized hardly in my opinion.

But you never see male celebrities complain about this. You do not see guys like Jason Mamoa or Chris Hemsworth for example, going on public media shows, and saying 'how dare you women masturbate to us, and think of us as eye candy! It's degrading and dehumanizing!". You never see guys mind being sexualized.

James Bond is another example. My gf is bothered by how Bond hooks up with a lot of women in the series, but if it was the other way around and you had a female action hero, who liked to sleep with a lot of men in a series, I wouldn't mind (I'm male just to be clear).

So do women over-respond negatively to being sexualized compared to men not having a problem with it? Or do men under-respond in comparison and they should get on the "how dare you women dehumanize us" bandwagon, and they should take it the same way?

What do you think out of curiosity?



Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,992
Location: England

16 Jan 2022, 2:45 pm

I think that a lot of it comes down to modesty culture. This was especially true in high school, where one wrong move and you could be branded various insults surrounding prostitution. I remember be called such insults for just straightening my hair - *gasp* the scandal. You're taught that you should be attractive to men, but that it should be shown as effortless and all behaviour should be passive. That you are the pursued, and never the pursuer. Your sexuality is seen as something that is given and not a fundamental aspect of you. It is something you offer to others, but if you offer it too willingly then you are seen as broken / shameful.

Catcalling is something that is often misunderstood. Sometimes people might wonder why it isn't taken more positively. However, in my experience, it is rarely just a case of receiving compliments. I've been on walks with family members, only to have strange guys approach me and describe sexual acts in uncomfortable detail as something they want to do to me. Which, I didn't want to know that information, I just wanted to walk from point A to point B. There's a time and a place for such talk, and on the street is neither. Especially when I'm with my family! My family don't want to hear about that.

There have been times where I've felt like I'm being treated like a trophy to be won. I've had to deal with angry parents wanting me to explain why I won't date their son. Which, I don't know what else to tell you, I'm gay. No - I'm not playing hard to get with your son, I do not like men that way. Yes I am sure. People sometimes act as though I'm being difficult, but I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not for the comfort of others (unless my safety is on the line). As if I am refusing to give others something that they are owed. It is unfortunate that some men won't take no for an answer and I have to start making up some lie about a fake boyfriend so they'll leave.

Even with topics such as masturbation, there's a sense of shame attached to it. You're expected to have a low sex drive and not actively want it, but only want it because a guy wants it from you. Sometimes when papers sexualise women, they do so in a way that takes away from their achievements. For instance, if a woman won a prize but the only thing the papers focused on was how hot she looked whilst claiming it.


_________________
22. Possibly B.A.P.


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,503
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

16 Jan 2022, 3:17 pm

I think it's because women want to be seen as more than just their sex appeal. They want to be appreciated for their other talents, skills, characteristics, not just how they look.

Scarlett Johansson still looks pretty, she's still better looking than me. But she doesn't want to be just the pretty Avenger. She wants to do stuff.

Look at the difference between the questions she gets compared to the guys.



carlos55
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,134

16 Jan 2022, 3:31 pm

Its because men & women sexual behaviour is different.

Male sexuality has a greater emphasis on visual stimuli regardless if gay or straight, so the physical appearance of the subject is of greatest importance, also the act of sex itself i.e porn.

For women these things are important, but play only a part of an overall package, with personality, successfulness and how he compares to his peers being of equal or greater importance.

Since human evolution means women have a lot more to loose in the mating game if she chooses the wrong mate.

So when women criticise men who over sexualise them they are just targeting a hard wired component of male sexuality that cannot be changed only suppressed regardless of education.

In fact male gay culture is highly sexualised because there are no breaks present usually applied in straight relationships by the female.

Sometimes though sexual behaviour in men if uncontrolled strays into criminal or abusive acts, which is what many women fear when they refer to this.

There was a great book released a couple of decades ago, that explains male /female sexuality called Mars & Venus on a date, worth reading.


_________________
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man."

- George Bernie Shaw


ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 4,819
Location: canada

16 Jan 2022, 5:18 pm

Oh okay thanks. But if women feel they are not being seen for their talent and being seen just for their bodies though, how come men don't mind? Do male actors who are goodlooking that women crush on actually think "I'm not being seen for my talent, and just my body and I am okay with that"? But if so, why are they are okay with that compared to women?



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 46,034

16 Jan 2022, 5:38 pm

Two words, unfortunately:

rape culture



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 4,819
Location: canada

16 Jan 2022, 5:40 pm

But I think it's a huge reach that just because a man finds a celebrity woman attractive that he wants to rape her. I mean you could say the same for women being attracted to male celebrities as well, that just because they are attracted to them, they don't want to rape them either though.



txfz1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2021
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,411
Location: US

16 Jan 2022, 5:48 pm

Could be a rape culture, no denying. For the Lost Dragon's event, there was de-humanizing to tell a stranger along with her family. Back in my whippersnapper days, a catcall was a wolf whistle and a smile. Some would do the hubba, hubba but the only intent was to acknowledge a beauty and a returned smile was the best. TBH, it is the same de-humanizing/objectifying but to a smaller magnitude. The issue is where do you draw the line, can a man tell a woman that is not involved with, her new haircut looks good?



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 4,819
Location: canada

16 Jan 2022, 5:54 pm

But even in catcalling men would be less bothered by if a woman catcalled them for example, and they would probably be complimented in comparison?



Fnord
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 54,918
Location: Stendec

16 Jan 2022, 6:04 pm

Look, kid; you are the one over-responding to, and over-thinking the sexualization of women.  They are people, just like you and me.  So treat them as you would like to be treated by any other man, and you will do alright.



Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,992
Location: England

16 Jan 2022, 6:19 pm

txfz1 wrote:
Could be a rape culture, no denying. For the Lost Dragon's event, that was de-humanizing to tell a stranger along with her family. Back in my whippersnapper days, a catcall was a wolf whistle and a smile. Some would do the hubba, hubba but the only intent was to acknowledge a beauty and a returned smile was the best. TBH, it is the same de-humanizing/objectifying but to a smaller magnitude. The issue is where do you draw the line, can a man tell a woman that is not involved with, her new haircut looks good?


I think that as a general rule, complimenting an aspect that a woman has control over is acceptable. Such as hairstyle, nail polish, choice in fashion and so on...aspects that could be considered extensions of her personality and sense of self. However, I'd avoid complimenting areas that are not under her control, such as the size of her breasts. That's an odd thing to do unless prompted or in a romantic and / or sexual relationship.


_________________
22. Possibly B.A.P.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 46,034

16 Jan 2022, 6:23 pm

ironpony wrote:
But even in catcalling men would be less bothered by if a woman catcalled them for example, and they would probably be complimented in comparison?


It's basic biology that most men are physically larger and stronger than most women
The potential for violence / injury is much higher for women
It's basic science that women get pregnant from assault, and have to raise the children for ... 20 years?
It's basic truth that women have to consider abortion and birth control
It's basic anatomy that women's bodies are more at risk of damage in hetero sex, than men's
It's basic economics that more men are in positions of power in the workplace
They can use their degradation / lack of respect for women to deny career growth / money
It's basic truth that marketing, advertising, and media are still more controlled by men than women
When the market is proliferated with imagery focused on women's looks and women's bodies, it's harmful
It's basic common sense that women are still fighting for justice in DV/ SA / harassment cases

I'm not saying for a second that all men are pigs; however, the stakes are a lot higher for women when the predominant culture approves of and perpetuates the normalisation of women being judged for their appearance.

Yes women can have the same thoughts about men, but I don't see the risk factors being as high for men in most situations. Yes of course there are female predators of both men and other women. I'm just answering your question in the most straightforward terms I can.



HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,912

16 Jan 2022, 6:31 pm

ironpony wrote:
But even in catcalling men would be less bothered by if a woman catcalled them for example, and they would probably be complimented in comparison?


That's probably entirely situational. I think a man or woman could see it as predatory, depending on the situation.

I've been sexually harassed by women in several workplaces. I've been groped by women in a bar. None of these situations was enjoyable.



ironpony
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 3 Nov 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 4,819
Location: canada

16 Jan 2022, 6:43 pm

HighLlama wrote:
ironpony wrote:
But even in catcalling men would be less bothered by if a woman catcalled them for example, and they would probably be complimented in comparison?


That's probably entirely situational. I think a man or woman could see it as predatory, depending on the situation.

I've been sexually harassed by women in several workplaces. I've been groped by women in a bar. None of these situations was enjoyable.


Oh yes for sure I am not saying sexual harrassment or groping is a good thing. But I thought that a stranger catcalling is fine, depending some circumstances and what is said particularly.

As for women being threatened because men are stronger, when Scarlet Johannson complains about being objectified most of her fans are watching through a tv though, and wouldn't dream of actually going to her house though in real life.

Plus also, if women tell men to stop masturbating to them, if they did so, would that actually decrease sexual assault crimes though?



IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 46,034

16 Jan 2022, 6:50 pm

ironpony wrote:
I thought that a stranger catcalling is fine, depending some circumstances and what is said particularly.

.... most of her fans are watching through a tv though, and wouldn't dream of actually going to her house though in real life.

Plus also, if women tell men to stop masturbating to them, if they did so, would that actually decrease sexual assault crimes though?


The problem is that these behaviours are normalised and seen as acceptable. That teaches young children and future generations that it's OK to objectify girls and women for their perceived sexual value. Even if "no one would go to her house", it's the media mentality which needs to be corrected because of the reasons I've listed. Men have primal sexual urges which can't always be controlled. Statistically they are more likely to commit violent or demeaning actions against women than the other way around, and like I said the ramifications affect all women, making them vulnerable to continued exploitation and potential abuse - not just the movie stars with bodyguards and expensive legal counsel, but all women worldwide.



Last edited by IsabellaLinton on 16 Jan 2022, 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

txfz1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Dec 2021
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,411
Location: US

16 Jan 2022, 6:52 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
txfz1 wrote:
Could be a rape culture, no denying. For the Lost Dragon's event, that was de-humanizing to tell a stranger along with her family. Back in my whippersnapper days, a catcall was a wolf whistle and a smile. Some would do the hubba, hubba but the only intent was to acknowledge a beauty and a returned smile was the best. TBH, it is the same de-humanizing/objectifying but to a smaller magnitude. The issue is where do you draw the line, can a man tell a woman that is not involved with, her new haircut looks good?


I think that as a general rule, complimenting an aspect that a woman has control over is acceptable. Such as hairstyle, nail polish, choice in fashion and so on...aspects that could be considered extensions of her personality and sense of self. However, I'd avoid complimenting areas that are not under her control, such as the size of her breasts. That's an odd thing to do unless prompted or in a romantic and / or sexual relationship.


I agree and have learned to give my catcalling a more cerebral twist, some non-sexual double speak or if they hold the door for me, "Thanks, I was told chivalry was dead." or something, I get the smile or even a harrumph laugh. It's still the same objectifying just to lesser degree as I've been berated for the it. The issue is the hooligans have learned to turn off their empathy and amp it up to your events.