Calling people by name
Even this applies to me.
I don't call people by their usual names.
I call them with kinship names, labels, titles, honorifics, nicknames and shorten versions of their already shorten names and nicknames.
And no, it has nothing to do with being awkward in my own case.
I'm not afraid of forgetting someone's names and misnaming someone.
It even happens privately and even whenever I'm completely alone.
Always referring other parties with adjectives and verbs (in translation like: this online friend, that funny drunkard, etc..)
It never mattered who it is.
Whether it's someone who I'm very comfortable with, someone I utterly dislike, someone I respect, etc.
It never mattered what the situation or the setting is. Formal, informal, detached, intimate, mourning, festive, etc...
Saying my own name is weird, saying someone else's names are also weird too.
And I'm not even sure why...
I can just pass it off as cultural, but...
I had observed that's not the case.
Maybe it's more or less to do with the idea of autistics not responding to names?
And ends up extending to this particular part of socialization?
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I don't call people by their usual names.
I call them with kinship names, labels, titles, honorifics, nicknames and shorten versions of their already shorten names and nicknames.
And no, it has nothing to do with being awkward in my own case.
I'm not afraid of forgetting someone's names and misnaming someone.
It even happens privately and even whenever I'm completely alone.
Always referring other parties with adjectives and verbs (in translation like: this online friend, that funny drunkard, etc..)
It never mattered who it is.
Whether it's someone who I'm very comfortable with, someone I utterly dislike, someone I respect, etc.
It never mattered what the situation or the setting is. Formal, informal, detached, intimate, mourning, festive, etc...
Saying my own name is weird, saying someone else's names are also weird too.
And I'm not even sure why...
I can just pass it off as cultural, but...
I had observed that's not the case.
Maybe it's more or less to do with the idea of autistics not responding to names?
And ends up extending to this particular part of socialization?
We probably tend to use full names because they're more specific, and ASD has a lot to do with exactness. Perhaps this is why many do not respond to names, otherwise. Even That Funny Drunkard or This Online Friend are specific, so it makes sense why you use them.
No. Never noticed that. We wear uniforms in our job, but I dont run into coworkers off the job very often. But the few times I have Ive recognized the person. I am not face blind. If thats what you mean.
Just that I know the face (even remember conversations with folks), but forget what name goes with the face.
My boss always greets med with a "Hello Mats" which I find really weird, I never use peoples names when greeting them. Either they're the only one there and it's obvious that I'm greeting them, or there are others there and I then greet everybody.
I have no problems using peoples names when it makes things clearer, like when others are around eg in a meeting, "Oh John, I'm doing this documentation of xyz, would you be interested in a copy?" or "Anna, you know this better than me, what's the proper term for that?".
/Mats
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that1weirdgrrrl
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I feel like this is the reasoning behind why I try to avoid addressing people.... it feels like implying a level of intimacy that doesn't really exist, ergo it feels manipulative.
If I am actually close with someone, I tend to touch them to get their attention rather than say their name. But this could also be due to noisy environments as well....
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Sweetleaf
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Well I have ASD and do that all the time...idk what it is, just feels uncomfortable using names I have never understood it. But it is annoying because apparently people like being acknowledged by name, so like I get why it may bother someone if you don't say their name. But at the same time I don't really care how someone gets my attention and would not care if they use my name or not.
But yeah idk I just usually pretend I don't remember names well, when I do remember their name I just feel too akward to say it. Like idk it took me a while to say my boyfriends name....and before I got comfortable enough to say his name when adressing him, I was super paranoid he'd notice that weird thing about me not using names as often as others do and get uncomfortable.
But yeah I don't know what it is, but I have always felt weird about adressing people by name, maybe it is just a weird autism thing.
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As I'm getting older, I find myself using names more. At work people wear name badges and it makes things a lot easier considering I'm one of those people who forgets names 5 seconds after hearing them.
There is a Thai lady at work whose name I just do not get. But I think she has trouble with mine as well. Just about everyone has trouble with my name. It's only one syllable long.
I've always had trouble with friends' parents names. I usually feel shy and awkward about it and so avoid asking them what name shall I call them.
One really awkward situation is at my afternoon workplace. My psychiatrist works there and if he happens to see me he says hello and my name and I just say oh hello back. Next time I have an appointment with him, I think I'll ask him what name he'd prefer. I'm tired of feeling awkward about this.
A persons favorite word in any language is their own first name in most cases
A persons favorite word in any language is their own first name in most cases
I have difficulty remembering people's names, in the first place. When I meet someone new, I usually inform them, immediately, about my difficulty remembering names and faces and tell them I'll probably need to be informed on at least several occasions before I finally remember.
Also, if someone's name is unusual or difficult for me to pronounce, I often say that it will take me some time to learn to pronounce it correctly, and I specifically ask the person to correct me if I ever mispronounce it.
Once I do finally know someone's name, I tend to use it only for specific functional purposes, such as getting the person's attention in a crowded room, or in the salutation at the beginning of an email message.
The one exception is my boyfriend, whose name I tend to use a lot as an expression of endearment when we are alone together. I don't do that with anyone else.
There's also a specific functional purpose for which I've asked my boyfriend to use my name. When I'm at home working at my desk, especially when I'm working on programming, I really don't like my concentration to be broken abruptly. So, when he needs/wants to tell me something, I've asked him NOT to just go ahead and start saying whatever it is, but, instead, to say my name first, then wait for me to respond, and only then start telling me whatever he needs/wants to tell me. This makes it easier for me to shift my attention.
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I am not good at recalling names and faces. Some Agatha Christie stories start at a dinner party with a dozen people with names - i never know who anyone is until the end of the mystery - sometimes i have to go back end reread the whole story.
Some people i work with and friends of the family or goups.
Dale Carnegie says names are very important. I have used some visualization on tricks that work really well but i have to use them.
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RDOS scores - Aspie score 131/200 - neurotypical score 69/200 - very likely Aspie
I don't say people's names and never have.
On one hand it feels overly formal, but on the other hand it makes me uncomfortable because it's too personal, like making eye contact.
One of my friends sends texts and says "Hi Isabella ..... " or "How are you, Isabella?" and it weirds me out so much I don't like to reply. It seems especially weird in written / text form where people are normally much more casual.
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