How to explain poor couples if women only care for money.

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Sweetleaf
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17 Mar 2022, 1:03 am

I tried to post if women only care about money how do you explain all the poor couples, but wouldn't fit in the title section, that is the only way it would fit.

Anyways though if women only care for money how do you explain all the poor couples? Me and my boyfriend are close to poverty and he works full time, I get disability and work part time. We both know our money situation sucks but all we can really do is try and budget the money we get the best ways we can. I mean in reality we both want more money but we're together so we would want it for both of us.

IDK maybe some immature 20 year old hotties have expectations of getting a hot rich guy, but blech I would not trade in my boyfriend for one of those boring chads, no way...I like my beardy nerd guy more than those, what can I say.


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Mona Pereth
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17 Mar 2022, 1:16 am

If you feel comfortable telling us, how did you and your boyfriend meet, get to know each other, and become a couple?


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Sweetleaf
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17 Mar 2022, 1:53 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
If you feel comfortable telling us, how did you and your boyfriend meet, get to know each other, and become a couple?


We both had profiles on OKcupid, and he sent a message...and I responded a month later...

At the time he sent it I read it, but I was angry that the last guy I met on there turned out to view our relations as more just a hook up, but I wanted a real relationship so idk I was disappointed, and bothered..so I wasn't really up to jumping back into trying agian..but aftar a month I felt a bit better and felt confident enough I could say no to having sex right away and if the guy wasn't cool with that I could end things there. And i still liked the messege my now boyfriend sent but it was a month old so I figured it was probably too late, but sent a messege anyways that I'd like to meet if he was still looking...turns out he had been dating around a little but hadn't really found anyone so he still wanted to meet up. So we did...lol good thing he was genuine, I did it the worst way didn't even tell anyone I knew or in my family were I was going because I thought they'd judge me for meeting up with a guy I met online, but it went well and things progressed from there.

But maybe online dating is harder/worse now, idk seemed people were complaining about it even like 6 years ago when me and my bf met on Okcupid...and now that I am not looking to date and haven't been for 6 years I don't know exactly how they work. On that site 6 years ago you could just look up your area code and browse profiles near you and messege them if you wanted I never got any responses when I sent a message but I got some messages I responded to.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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17 Mar 2022, 3:05 am

The vast majority of women don't only care about money and income, but for most, it does seem to factor into the equation.

It seems to me that most women only want to date men who are in the same socio-economic strata as themselves, or higher.

Two poor people are in the same socio-economic strata.



HighLlama
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17 Mar 2022, 5:25 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I tried to post if women only care about money how do you explain all the poor couples, but wouldn't fit in the title section, that is the only way it would fit.

Anyways though if women only care for money how do you explain all the poor couples? Me and my boyfriend are close to poverty and he works full time, I get disability and work part time. We both know our money situation sucks but all we can really do is try and budget the money we get the best ways we can. I mean in reality we both want more money but we're together so we would want it for both of us.

IDK maybe some immature 20 year old hotties have expectations of getting a hot rich guy, but blech I would not trade in my boyfriend for one of those boring chads, no way...I like my beardy nerd guy more than those, what can I say.


Obviously the guy is over 5'8" with a huge d***.

:P



munstead
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17 Mar 2022, 5:49 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The vast majority of women don't only care about money and income, but for most, it does seem to factor into the equation.

It seems to me that most women only want to date men who are in the same socio-economic strata as themselves, or higher.

Two poor people are in the same socio-economic strata.


Spot on. Thread can close now ;)



Fnord
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17 Mar 2022, 7:48 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I tried to post if women only care about money how do you explain all the poor couples, but wouldn't fit in the title section, that is the only way it would fit. . .
[opinion=mine]

In general, it seems that women are not so much interested in "marrying for money" as they are in not "marrying down" financially.  Men, on the other hand, seem more interested in a woman's appearance than in how much money she has.

In other words, women seem to not want a financially-dependent partner, while men do not seem to mind it at all.  Maybe there is a power dynamic at work?


[/opinion]



Nades
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17 Mar 2022, 8:16 am

Fnord wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
I tried to post if women only care about money how do you explain all the poor couples, but wouldn't fit in the title section, that is the only way it would fit. . .
[opinion=mine]

In general, it seems that women are not so much interested in "marrying for money" as they are in not "marrying down" financially.  Men, on the other hand, seem more interested in a woman's appearance than in how much money she has.

In other words, women seem to not want a financially-dependent partner, while men do not seem to mind it at all.  Maybe there is a power dynamic at work?


[/opinion]


For me it depends on looks as much as finances. If a woman looked good and was slim then I can show a fair amount of leeway but I noticed good looking women often take care of their careers as much as their looks. Obese women who are completely unemployed? Plenty of those around.

Regardless, man or woman, nobody wants an obese and financially dependant partner. It's the worst of both worlds.

And as was mentioned earlier, socioeconomic differences seem to come into play. A grossly disproportionate gap between finances is hard on a couple but being from relatively similar economic backgrounds makes it easier. This could be rich or poor.



FleaOfTheChill
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17 Mar 2022, 8:30 am

HighLlama wrote:

Obviously the guy is over 5'8" with a huge d***.

:P


Okay, first, that's funny.


As to the op, yeah, there are tons of women who don't care about how much money a man has. But I am inclined to agree with the socioeconomic talk. It can be hard to relate to people who have an extremely different lifestyle/background. It can also be hard to meet people who fall out of your particular demographic. Then what about shared interests? If you have money you're more likely to do things like travel, have expensive hobbies and toys, if you're poor, not so much.

Personally, I wouldn't date someone with money. I have no idea what to do with a person like that. I like differences in people I'm with, but some things I need in common... If I was with a rich person, I'd end up feeling like a mooch and that's not okay with me. I like to hold my own in relationships, pay my part and so on. I can't possibly do that with someone who makes so much more than me. :shrug:



Fnord
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17 Mar 2022, 8:51 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
. . . there are tons of women who don't care about how much money a man has. . .
. . . unless the man happens to be homeless and living on the street.



FleaOfTheChill
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17 Mar 2022, 9:34 am

Fnord wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
. . . there are tons of women who don't care about how much money a man has. . .
. . . unless the man happens to be homeless and living on the street.


I find your comment a bit odd. I'm not sure if it's a joke or not. Personally, I think the homeless qualifier is a subject all it's own and not really relevant here. It seems too big for that and like money wouldn't be the issue, but the homelessness itself.

I imagine there are homeless women who would love to be able to find a partner they could trust, and if he was homeless, fine. There's something to be said for having someone there with you so you can do things like sleep and not wake up with all your stuff stolen or wake up being attacked or whatever. I know when I was homeless, not being alone made it all so much easier. I feel bad for people who have to live that way alone. I have no idea how they do it.

But if you mean your average woman with a house and job and whatever, yeah, I can't imagine any who would want to date a homeless guy. In this case though, I doubt it has to do with his annual income or lack of, but more likely the stigma that comes along with homelessness. Most people assume if you are homeless, then you're crazy or strung out. What kind of woman seeks out those qualities in a potential partner?

I'm not saying the description is totally accurate or anything, I wasn't crazy or strung out, but it is what most not homeless people assume about homeless people. And if they don't assume you're crazy and/or high, they might assume you aren't capable of stability and that's not a huge turn on for most people either. Again, not saying it's fair, there are tons of people working a 'regular' job with a set schedule and doing things like living in a tent or a car or whatever, but just can't afford more due to their income and cost of living, but it looks like irresponsibility and instability to the outsider.

Hm. You know, at first it didn't seem fair to me to bring homelessness into this topic, but now I'm rethinking. Maybe it is and that's how people with tons of money see poor people in general. I don't know.



Fnord
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17 Mar 2022, 10:00 am

I have been homeless, so I know what it is like first-hand, and I do not have to assume, guess, or imagine how it is.



FleaOfTheChill
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17 Mar 2022, 10:23 am

Fnord wrote:
I have been homeless, so I know what it is like first-hand, and I do not have to assume, guess, or imagine how it is.


I know. There's a few people o this site who have mentioned being homeless. I tend to remember who those people are. I know I've read something before with you stating you have been. I didn't mean to come across like I didn't think you knew about this stuff. Sorry that I did just that. It wasn't my intention.

Thing is, I'm confused here (happens a lot :lol: ) I'm really just trying to work out how the two are related in your mind because they are so very different in my own mind...being low income and being homeless. I really found it an odd thing to bring up here. Not a bad thing or a good thing, just an odd thing because of how different they are to me. The only thing I could figure is a common thread would be how some higher income folks can assume that if you're poor you must be lazy or crazy or drunk or high. But I have no idea if that's what you meant.



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17 Mar 2022, 10:35 am

Nades wrote:
Regardless, man or woman, nobody wants an obese and financially dependant partner. It's the worst of both worlds.


I have encountered people who want exactly that in a partner, actually. A feeder fetishist dominant might find that kind of partner very appealing.

Which highlights my biggest problem with this whole sort of discussion. Any time you try to make general comments about what everyone wants in a partner, there's going to be exceptions. Name pretty much any kind of person, no matter how unappealing they seem to you, I can pretty much guarantee that someone finds that sort of person appealing.

After all, rule 34 is a thing. No matter what topic you can think of, someone out there has a fetish for it. And it goes beyond fetishes - a lot of people have unconventional non-sexual preferences, too. Eg, there's people who actively like the idea of living entirely off of things people throw away. I saw a documentary about them, which featured a romantic couple who were both into that lifestyle. I seriously doubt homelessness would be a turn-off for someone like that.

So no, it's never accurate to say "no one would want to date a person like this". The real question is, would you want to date the people who would want to date you? I mean, if you're obese and financially dependent, but absolutely hate the idea of being with someone who finds feeding someone to make them gain weight hot in a power-play sense, then the feeder fetishist Dom isn't going to be a compatible partner no matter how much they're interested in you.



Fnord
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17 Mar 2022, 10:36 am

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
. . . I'm really just trying to work out how the two are related in your mind because they are so very different in my own mind . . . being low income and being homeless. . .
If a person is too poor to afford housing, and has no significant other to live with, then that person is usually homeless.  If money was not a significant factor in relationships, then there would likely be fewer homeless people.

Generally speaking, I know more couples where the husband works and the wife does not than couples where the wife works and the husband does not.



kraftiekortie
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17 Mar 2022, 10:41 am

I feel like some women worry, somewhat, about a man's "socioeconomic status," more than they worry about how much money a man makes, per se. They might like a man, say, who is able to respond to her intellect.

Many women don't, though. They just want to be treated decently, and not have to endure crap. They want to feel like a man respects her independence----and most don't want a man who depends upon them financially.