Why SHOULD you have a child sooner rather than later ?

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As I mentioned in another similar thread, this is something that a woman has to deal with, but I seem to think there is pressure on men as well to have children with their partners. It is as though I ought to start thinking about it sooner rather than later even though I am not with anyone but I as I said in a previous thread I still feel there is the pressure to find someone sooner than later and start a family but I do also think I as someone on here said that just ends leading to a bad relationship because it feels like we are having to keep up with the Jones (as Americans say) instead of actually really wanting to have a child in our lives. It just feels as though there is little time to enjoy life for someone in their late 20s and early 30s and that more time should be prioritised about starting a family and settle down and I am in that age group and not even there right now.

Well, you certainly should not feel obligated to have kids they're a big responsibility and change your life completely, people should only have kids if they really want them and are willing to take that responsibility. I mean sure for people who desire children there can be a bit of a time limit...women do stop having periods later on so thus can't have children anymore once that happens. But you certainly should not rush into having a child if you're not even sure you want one.

It is better to ignore social pressure in regards to this, and do what feels right for you.

AFAIK, there is no reason why anyone SHOULD have a child; but if they do decide to have a child, then it would be better, health-wise for both mother and child, to have the child in one's mid- to late-20s or early- to mid-30s.

Disclaimer: I am a man who has practically no medical training (e.g., first-aid only).  You would be better off to consult a licensed OB/GYN.

I am only saying this because it must obviously be societal pressure, its like if you haven't found and dated someone, got married, had sex, and started a family by a certain age then you are not going to do it. I seem to think those things are even shown in popular culture and in films like for example: the 40 year old Virgin.

You would be surprised how many people become first-time parents in their 40s. Probably a higher percentage of men than women, though plenty of women in their 40s have children.

I would say, objectively, that it would be okay for a person to have a first child in their 40s. There are many people in their 40s, 50s, and even their 60s who are healthy enough to play ruggedly with their children.

I'm 61 years old, and I can still chase after kids.

Yep. It is best. But it's far from inevitable that birth defects will occur in the birth of someone whose mother is over 40. The vast majority of even over-40 pregnancies produce healthy children.

you don't wanna be part of that minority, however. a family friend with a late-in-life pregnancy had a downs child that she has to take care of in her old age now.

It's considerably more common to have a Down's child when the mother is 35 or over. But younger mothers also produce Down's children--though, obviously, at a lesser rate than older mothers.

Anyway.....there are many kids out there who would love to be adopted.

What I'm saying, really: if a woman wants to have a child after 40, I wouldn't tell her, definitely, not to have a child because of her age.

I noticed too that my women friends are only now wanting to become Mothers now that they have reached their mid to late 30s but why the long wait compared to a couple of decades ago? Is there a reason to wait till when you are older and it's more difficult?

When you have a kid, it's like rolling a giant dice, and you never know what set of strengths and challenges your kid will inherit. You could do everything right parenting wise, but your kid could still wind up addicted to drugs and dead at 25, or wind up in prison for a long time for commiting a major crime. Or your kid may have some sort of major disability where they need more parental support than usual, or your child suffers with severe depression or mental health problems and you have to be there for them through thick and thin. As a parent, you feel obligated to be there for them, whatever challenges they go through, and your kid WILL go through challenges in their life, some of them you yourself will have never personally experienced.

That's why I think you need a decent amount of empathy and selflessness if you want to raise a child because you're no longer always acting in your best interest, but in your child's best interest as well.

Good points. Do you think a lot of women wait till mid to late 30s or later because they are more established in their careers and and can afford it more by then? However, the downside being that they are not up for handling the pregnancy as well at that age?

As a parent right now and considering having another, I would say it is better to do this in your early thirties simply because you have more energy. I had my first child when I was 34 - I was very fit and strong going into it - and coped ok with the sleep deprivation. Now, at the age of 39 I feel weary and the main question I have is whether I am up to the task still. I'm fitter than the average person, eat well, have stopped drinking, and I changed job to one that is less demanding. Also, and I can't emphasise it enough, there is a world of difference between spending a full day or weekend looking after or playing with your neices or nephews and actual day in day out parenting. What I would say is this tells you whether you like kids and whether you have an aptitude, but it won't give you any understanding of the mental or physical demands of actual parenting. Glorious but relentless, and uoull need a game plan if you are autistic to cope with the sensory overload and energy drain and their constant desire to play with you and do stuff with you... put it this way I could not be a single parent.

Sperm quality deteriorates after 40, it is a myth that only women have a biology clock; men have it too, the older the man the more likely he may have a kid with defects.

Also, the bigger age gap between you and your first child, the more unfair for your kid because you would lack energy.

For me, it is too late.

Also the older parents seem more helicopter parents,
it's all so precious and protected/protecting
and you really are getting more tired then in your twenties