hurtloam wrote:
If it works for you Nick that's fab. A lot of us are commenting from a place where we've tried with this relationship thing and couldn't get it and being alone is a lot less tiring and much more peaceful.
That doesn't mean that there aren't people who are truly happy in their relationships. It's just some of us don't find peace in them.
I think I get what you mean. In some ways my personality within a romantic relationship is kinda the opposite of the stereotypical Aspie which kinda makes me more of an outsider compared to other Aspies. Like more than a few of us here, I struggled aLOT with getting romantic relationships in the 1st place. In some ways I probably am less compatible for a relationship with the stereotypical Aspie woman than lots of guys are & I'm just as incompatible with the stereotypical NT woman as lots of Aspie guys are, just in some different ways. There's def been times where I thought it would be alot easier emotionally to completely give up on trying & hoping. I've had some major problems in all 3 of my relationships & unfortunately I've caused lots of problems for them
I've tried to learn from things & grow & I think that's partly why I'm happier being in a relationship. Lots of people assumed that I was expecting a romantic partner to magically fix my life for me instead of any change coming from within. I'm a better person within my current relationship because I have the change in environment, motivation, support, understanding, & encouragement to better allow for me to grow, & I also do not have the pressure to. It majorly helps that she's a very empathetic & loving person in general & she has lots of her own various issues so she can better relate & understand I have mine. She figures if I was better for her in some ways like me being more independent, I would have a harder time relating & understanding her. I'm sure I would not be as happy if I had a partner who was constantly on my case about me not measuring up to normal non-disabled guys. I felt like my mom was like that with me & it def made me feel a lot worse about things. There was so much bad history between me & mom that it was hard for me to make any changes even if I really wanted to. I felt stuck & trapped & needed a fresh start & a romantic relationship was my opportunity.