Should I be able to learn to drive in a month?

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HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jul 2022, 11:30 pm

In a month my aunt will be going on vacation for a week with some of my other relatives. Since I've been carpooling with her to get to work, I have started trying to learn to drive so I can get myself to work while she's gone.

I started going to classes and getting driving instruction, plus driving with my aunt, though my driving instructor doesn't think that I'm comfortable enough to learn to drive safely within a month and get my license. My aunt is also getting frustrated since I'm not learning at the pace she wants me to, and she wants me to be able to learn and get my license by the time she goes on vacation.

I'm still only able to really drive around the neighbourhood or a parking lot since driving in the city freaks me out, as I can't pay attention to all the traffic and everything else I have to process, plus I'll have to drive on the freeway to get to work which is worse and I feel like isn't feasible for me to safely do within a month.

Should it be feasible for me to learn to drive within a month? I feel bad for not progressing at the pace my aunt wants me to, but my processing issues make it hard to pay attention to everything and develop the habits I need to drive, so I feel like learning in just a month isn't likely to happen.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Jul 2022, 11:34 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
In a month my aunt will be going on vacation for a week with some of my other relatives. Since I've been carpooling with her to get to work, I have started trying to learn to drive so I can get myself to work while she's gone.

I started going to classes and getting driving instruction, plus driving with my aunt, though my driving instructor doesn't think that I'm comfortable enough to learn to drive safely within a month and get my license. My aunt is also getting frustrated since I'm not learning at the pace she wants me to, and she wants me to be able to learn and get my license by the time she goes on vacation.

I'm still only able to really drive around the neighbourhood or a parking lot since driving in the city freaks me out, as I can't pay attention to all the traffic and everything else I have to process, plus I'll have to drive on the freeway to get to work which is worse and I feel like isn't feasible for me to safely do within a month.

Should it be feasible for me to learn to drive within a month? I feel bad for not progressing at the pace my aunt wants me to, but my processing issues make it hard to pay attention to everything and develop the habits I need to drive, so I feel like learning in just a month isn't likely to happen.


You may or may not, but having the added pressure from your aunt may not help.
Do you have a test date booked already?
Here there's a major backlog, like I've heard up to six months for tests.

Do you have a backup plan just in case?
Is there someone you can carpool with, or could you Uber?

By the way, congrats! It sounds like you're doing great so far with your lessons!



HeroOfHyrule
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03 Jul 2022, 11:42 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
You may or may not, but having the added pressure from your aunt may not help.
Do you have a test date booked already?
Here there's a major backlog, like I've heard up to six months for tests.

Do you have a backup plan just in case?
Is there someone you can carpool with, or could you Uber?

I don't have a test date booked. I do have a drive with the instructor booked for next week since the class told us to immediately book the first 3, but the instructor told me to cancel it because I won't be comfortable enough driving in the city by then, which my aunt then told me not to do and now she's been pressuring me more to try to drive in the city. She gets impatient with me when I drive with her, which gives me anxiety and makes me make mistakes, and even though I did fine with the instructor I don't think I can drive there with her yet...

My cousin also said she could pick me up and drive me to work, and I don't mind taking an Uber or something, but my aunt didn't seem happy with the fact my cousin offered that and doesn't want me to spend the money to take an Uber.


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IsabellaLinton
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03 Jul 2022, 11:46 pm

Insurance on a new driver will be pretty costly too.
Personally, I'd advise you to listen to your instructor and not rush.

It's great that your cousin is willing to help out.

Ironically when I first got my licence it was for the same reason as you.
I needed to drive to a job when my parents were away.



Dear_one
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04 Jul 2022, 1:01 am

Have you mastered traffic on a bicycle? Played any sports? In order to drive in traffic, you need to have developed automatic responses to chores like staying in your lane and obeying lights without much conscious thought, so you can be thinking about the non-constant situation around you. You have to be confident enough about what's ahead to make good use of your mirrors, so that you always know what's around you.
One morning, I had to go though a strange city at rush hour, and spot all the little route numbers to follow. That left me without enough time to look in the mirrors, so I just drove faster than traffic. Lucky I was in Omaha, not LA. When I went to the San Francisco area with a friend, I wouldn't let him drive his own car if I was in it. One night, he saw a sign I'd missed, and saved us from an excursion to an area with many skid marks.



IsabellaLinton
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04 Jul 2022, 1:05 am

^

My driving teacher suddenly put his hand over my rear-view mirror, and asked me what type / colour of vehicle was behind me. I had no idea. I've now been driving for .... (??) .... 36 years, and I always make sure to notice.



ThisTimelessMoment
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04 Jul 2022, 1:20 am

I was very nervous and tense when learning. It took me 4 attempts to pass the test. Added pressure was very unhelpful!!
These days I'm much better and since realising my autism and sensory issues, I've become even more confident somehow.


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04 Jul 2022, 2:17 am

It seems unfair of your aunt to put this stress on you. It was her decision to travel without giving you enough time to learn a high risk skill. A driving mistake can jeopardize not just your safety but another person or animal or expensive property as well.
It’s not the everyday driving that poses the most danger but the unexpected - a dog or child or bicycle that might dart in from of you.
Statistically a new driver is more likely to have an accident - the price of your insurance usually drops after the first few years.
Perhaps your driving instructor needs to have a talk with your aunt.
Why would your aunt be opposed to your cousin helping you get to work? That doesn’t make sense.



autisticelders
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04 Jul 2022, 8:02 am

took me much longer than that, but I did not get much practice. Until I was able to practice a lot I did not do well. Pushing you to graduate in that short of time is unfair if you do not get extra help and support you need during that time, which includes many hours behind the wheel.


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Dear_one
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04 Jul 2022, 8:14 am

Before learning to drive a car, I had used a bicycle a lot and mastered driving farm machinery. I was ready for something faster.



MaxE
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04 Jul 2022, 8:15 am

This is not going to work out. I actually feel sorry for you that you didn't grow up when I did. In the 1970s, people in your situation hitchhiked.

I guess you'll have to think creatively. First thing that comes to mind is to crash with a co-worker.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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04 Jul 2022, 10:03 am

The rate that it takes you to be able to drive to work depends on many factors:

Distance
Traffic
Gross and fine motor skills

Not everyone learns driving at the same rate

However when I took the driving test, it was only about five minutes and the instructor did not tell me to do anything difficult like parallel parking. She didn't make me do a lot of things.

Telecommute at work

Carpool

Uber

Bus

Bike

Motorcycle

Unicycle

Walk

See if you could call in sick if you don't have a way to get to work

Leave of absence

(Only if you could do that without getting made redundant)



Dear_one
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04 Jul 2022, 10:22 am

A lot of people tell me that they can't get along without a car. That's because they used a car to find their home, work, and shops. If you use a bicycle to look for those, they will be within bicycle range, and probably in more interesting neighbourhoods. The bike also integrates healthy exercise into your day while actually saving time overall. Ivan Illich calculated that by the time you have driven downtown, found parking, walked from there to your destination, and paid for it all, you have averaged 4 MPH, or 6.5 KPH.



IsabellaLinton
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04 Jul 2022, 10:41 am

Can you book some of your lessons so that the car meets you at work, and they teach you to drive home?
(Assuming of course it's a driving school car and not your aunt's car) ?
I'm also hoping there's a way to avoid the freeway.

My kids did that a couple of times. ^
The lesson doesn't always need to start at your house or at the driving school.



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04 Jul 2022, 12:47 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
In a month my aunt will be going on vacation for a week with some of my other relatives. Since I've been carpooling with her to get to work, I have started trying to learn to drive so I can get myself to work while she's gone.

I started going to classes and getting driving instruction, plus driving with my aunt, though my driving instructor doesn't think that I'm comfortable enough to learn to drive safely within a month and get my license. My aunt is also getting frustrated since I'm not learning at the pace she wants me to, and she wants me to be able to learn and get my license by the time she goes on vacation.

I'm still only able to really drive around the neighbourhood or a parking lot since driving in the city freaks me out, as I can't pay attention to all the traffic and everything else I have to process, plus I'll have to drive on the freeway to get to work which is worse and I feel like isn't feasible for me to safely do within a month.

Should it be feasible for me to learn to drive within a month? I feel bad for not progressing at the pace my aunt wants me to, but my processing issues make it hard to pay attention to everything and develop the habits I need to drive, so I feel like learning in just a month isn't likely to happen.
it will take however long it takes. Some people learn in an hour and other people can take years. No one has the right to decide for you. Just enjoy learning and however long it takes is the amount of time it should take for you.


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04 Jul 2022, 1:34 pm

It would be quite impressive if you could go from completely inexperienced to a confident and competent driver in a month. Here they don't let you on freeways unless you've been driving for at least a year and have the second stage of your licence.

It took me a few years to have a decent degree of confidence over my ability to control my car and know where the corners are at all times.

Do you have a non-freeway option, or can you at least get some seat time on the freeway with your aunt in the passenger seat before you've got to do it on your own?


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