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Guys to overprotective of there girlfriends?

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Fnord
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08 Aug 2022, 2:23 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If I had the experiences this guy had, I would conclude to myself that bars just aren't the place where I would want to spend my off-time. I like for people to like me, not to want to put a "kick me" sign on my back. I had enough of the "kick me" signs in high school.
But you are NOT Jamesy, and he does not seem to understand or accept that it is his behavior that provokes people's feelings and actions against him.  Maybe one day he will.


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Nades
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08 Aug 2022, 2:26 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Did James know that the woman had a boyfriend present? That's the question, really. If he didn't know, and she was talking to other people, then it's less of a sleazy situation than if he knew she had a boyfriend and especially that he knew that he was was present.

Still, I would probably not go up to a person talking amongst friends if I was a total stranger to all of them. Woman or man. There are times when strangers are welcome; but, in my experience, most of the time, strangers aren't welcome in these gatherings of friends who know each other.

One day, you should watch an old Saturday Night Live sketch known as "Wild and Crazy Guys." Those two guys had no sense of "boundaries."


The angle I'm seeing it from is how visible is this boyfriend to begin with? If he's lurking in the background and made no effort whatsoever to make himself conspicuous then the boyfriend should expect situations where random men might approach their girlfriend. There are plenty of times when I found it awkward not to interact with a woman, boyfriend or not.

If not and the boyfriend is right next to her then yeah, its obnoxious to talk to her.

I dunno where this dating stuff have come from too. Generally in the UK a pub or bar in the evening makes a terrible place for a date.



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08 Aug 2022, 2:31 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I don’t understand why people are refusing to recognize the pattern of behavior here. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.


I, along with a lot of other people have told Jamsey he and bars don't mix well. His behaviour is blinkered to social norms but not hostile, discriminatory or harassing to the best of my knowledge.

And no. I'm not gonna wrangle with you again over a post you dragged up he apparently made 8 years ago where he texted a female friend an unknown number of times, saying unknown things and apparently this somehow amounted to harassment.



TwilightPrincess
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08 Aug 2022, 2:40 pm

Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I don’t understand why people are refusing to recognize the pattern of behavior here. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.


And no. I'm not gonna wrangle with you again over a post you dragged up he apparently made 8 years ago where he texted a female friend an unknown number of times, saying unknown things and apparently this somehow amounted to harassment.


I was referring to a post he made recently, not 8 years ago.

viewtopic.php?t=407599

Once again, we’re talking about a general pattern of behavior.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Aug 2022, 2:41 pm

I wonder if this will work:

"Wild and Crazy Guys."

https://www.bing.com/search?q=wild+and+ ... 01&PC=U531

To some extent, I used to try to act like that when I was in my very early 20s. I tried to act "cool." I came off looking stupid. No wonder I was rejected!



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 08 Aug 2022, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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08 Aug 2022, 2:42 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Once again, we’re talking about a general pattern of behavior.
Go to bar . . . chat up woman . . . get rejected . . . post "Why?" . . . ignore/argue against replies . . . repeat . . .

That about sums it up.


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Nades
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08 Aug 2022, 2:44 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I don’t understand why people are refusing to recognize the pattern of behavior here. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.


And no. I'm not gonna wrangle with you again over a post you dragged up he apparently made 8 years ago where he texted a female friend an unknown number of times, saying unknown things and apparently this somehow amounted to harassment.


I was referring to a post he made recently, not 8 years ago.

viewtopic.php?t=407599

Once again, we’re talking about a general pattern of behavior.


He explicitly said he left it a "few weeks" before texting again.

I think you have no idea what harassment is when it comes to text messages it seems.



DanielW
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08 Aug 2022, 2:46 pm

Nades wrote:
I dunno where this dating stuff have come from too. Generally in the UK a pub or bar in the evening makes a terrible place for a date.


The dating thing is inferred from the fact when the woman in question is "chatted up" the boyfriend has a problem with it. That means they are there together. Two people in a pub together are more often than not...dating. Granted its not an absolute, but its likely. They may not consider a night at the pub a date, but the relationship is there.



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08 Aug 2022, 2:58 pm

Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I don’t understand why people are refusing to recognize the pattern of behavior here. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.


And no. I'm not gonna wrangle with you again over a post you dragged up he apparently made 8 years ago where he texted a female friend an unknown number of times, saying unknown things and apparently this somehow amounted to harassment.


I was referring to a post he made recently, not 8 years ago.

viewtopic.php?t=407599

Once again, we’re talking about a general pattern of behavior.


He explicitly said he left it a "few weeks" before texting again.

I think you have no idea what harassment is when it comes to text messages it seems.


It was more than that:

Quote:
Well recently on weekends when I am out I have tried texting her but she has not responded to my messages.


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Fnord
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08 Aug 2022, 3:02 pm

@ALL: Can we please get back on-topic and give Jamesy a chance to respond?


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Nades
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08 Aug 2022, 3:03 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I don’t understand why people are refusing to recognize the pattern of behavior here. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.


And no. I'm not gonna wrangle with you again over a post you dragged up he apparently made 8 years ago where he texted a female friend an unknown number of times, saying unknown things and apparently this somehow amounted to harassment.


I was referring to a post he made recently, not 8 years ago.

viewtopic.php?t=407599

Once again, we’re talking about a general pattern of behavior.


He explicitly said he left it a "few weeks" before texting again.

I think you have no idea what harassment is when it comes to text messages it seems.


It was more than that:

Quote:
Well recently on weekends when I am out I have tried texting her but she has not responded to my messages.


At most a weekly message sometimes as infrequently as once every several weeks with said "harassment victim" (who knows him since childhood) making no effort at all to tell him to stop. How truly terrifying it must have been for her *sarcasm*

Give me a break.



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08 Aug 2022, 3:04 pm

^ You don’t know how women feel.

More concerning quotes:

Quote:
Having a weird attitude towards women probably doesn't help me escape the creep zone either.


viewtopic.php?t=400998

His post history is full of concerning behavior (and attitudes).


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Fnord
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08 Aug 2022, 3:09 pm

Fnord wrote:
@ALL: Can we please get back on-topic and give Jamesy a chance to respond?
Please?


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TwilightPrincess
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08 Aug 2022, 3:11 pm

Fnord wrote:
Fnord wrote:
@ALL: Can we please get back on-topic and give Jamesy a chance to respond?
Please?


Okay. Sorry!


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Nades
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08 Aug 2022, 3:13 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
^ You don’t know how women feel.

More concerning quotes:

Quote:
Having a weird attitude towards women probably doesn't help me escape the creep zone either.


viewtopic.php?t=400998

His post history is full of concerning behavior (and attitudes).


If they feel scared of that then they should live indoors permanently.

As for his posting history, what he post just seems like observations more often than not. They mostly relate to what comments people are making about him but not much in the way of actual harmful actions. Posts relating to his thoughts are just that too.

And yeah lets get back on track too. I dunno why this has turned into a bash Jamesy thread based on seeing way to much into what he posts.



Jamesy
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08 Aug 2022, 4:43 pm

I have only texted that girl twice a few weeks apart and then stopped.

I am not stupid believe it or not I have got the message she dislikes me. And she along with my other old school friends all of a sudden avoid going to the same pub I attend.