Why Shouldn't I Just Kill Myself?

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You are a worthwhile person.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 09 Aug 2022, 5:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

What about other things in your life?

Life is much more than romance.

That’s the way I feel about the issue.

All feelings are justifiable.

I can’t stop you from feeling what you’re feeling.

I feel despair sometimes. I counteract it through thinking of true good things. Not platitudes.

Other things in life can't placate the intense negative feelings I'm having about being romantically lonely and not being good enough to attract a partner. Those feelings dominate my life, and I can't silence them.

Sorry, I don't have anything useful to say, but I hope you're ok and are being kind to yourself.

It might not be that you're not "good enough" to attract a partner.

I would further purport.....that you are "good enough."

What makes you "not good enough?"

Being an autistic person doesn't make you "not good enough."

I'm an autistic person.....and I'm many other things which do not fit the "alpha" narrative. But, goddamit, I am "good enough!"

I would say you're "more the type that attracts the ladies" more than I'm the "type that attracts the ladies."

What makes me feel like I'm not good enough is the fact that I've never had a girlfriend at my age despite wanting one for literally more than half my life, and the fact that there's nothing I can do to get a girlfriend.

Normal, desirable people don't tend to find themselves in this situation.

You would be surprised…..

There’s many so-called “normal” people out there who are lonely, and don’t feel desired.

My feeling—is that there’s a lack of opportunity in your life situation, rather than you being “undesirable.”

I’ve had more opportunities, living in a populated area, despite not ticking most of the prerequisites for desirability. If you met me, you might say “why HIM?”

It’s mostly luck, I feel.

There also appear to be plenty of people on the spectrum who just never get to be in a relationship, or who've made it to older ages with sparse or no relationship experience. What happens to other people doesn't seem to be a good predictor of what's going to happen to me.


Never having been able to experience being in a relationship at my age makes it impossible to achieve contentment with my lot in life, and therein lies the problem. To the extent that I can present myself with a pleasant and upbeat disposition around other people, I already do so, but I can't be genuinely happy under these circumstances. The weight of this intense, unfulfilled desire is too heavy to bear.

If my experience up until now has taught me anything, just because there's ample time for things to happen and change, doesn't mean that they will.


I appreciate that.

I don’t disagree that I have good qualities, but they don't seem to be aiding me in achieving an outcome where I can placate the extreme negative feelings I'm having over apparently not being adequate enough for somebody to want to date.

I just don’t believe you’re “undesirable.”

You’re not some hideous creature who doesn’t take showers. And who has millions of pimples on his skin.

Perhaps you take things too seriously in social contexts?

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 10 Aug 2022, 6:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, I'm sure there are people who feel that way, but there probably wouldn't be as many who've never had a partner by my age despite a fervent and persistent desire.


That's also probably part of it, but even when I was a bit younger and had more opportunities to interact with women my age, I was still never able to find a romantic partner.

I live in a major city and have done so my whole life. It hasn't helped.

Even if it was all bad luck that was holding me back, I'm still faced with the same outcome either way, and no path forward to discover a better one.

I think most people who don't get to experience being desired by others are going to end up feeling undesirable, especially if that's an experience they want to have.

How’s the trivia thing going?

What's the absolute minimum in regards to a female companionship you would grudgingly accept?

How do you mean?

You said you wanted a full relationship but is there any lesser involvement with women you will still find rewarding but might be easier to obtain?

Having pretty much any kind of romantic connection where there is genuine reciprocated interest would significantly improve my mental health and well-being.