Throwing Yourself an Unmasking Party?

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Dragon729
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11 Aug 2022, 8:21 am

So, a little background- I was reading the Reader's Digest that my grandma sends me in the mail and it had an article about workplace burnout. And some of the details, especially the milder end of workplace burnout, kind of reminded me of myself. Not an actual job, but the job that interaction feels like it is. So I googled whether you can get burnout for masking autism, and the results I got actually made a lot of sense. Not saying that this has actually happened, because burnout is like an actual stress thing and you probably shouldn't try to diagnose yourself with it based on a Reader's Digest. But something weird that I don't like is going on. Some notes- I'm not sure how effective any of my masking is, but I am constantly worried about whether I'm getting read as autistic in any given situation. I also usually opt to not start or contribute to a conversation even if I really want to talk to that person, because my social skills aren't good enough, and I would be picked up as autistic. I hate it when I even think that that is happening. My second year of high school is coming up, and my first one was hell. I want my second year, if it ends up being hell too, to be it on my own terms. I want to stop caring about what I'm getting read as, and stop checking myself to see what I'm getting read as. I'm pretty sure this is defined as unmasking, right? I like holding myself tiny parties for milestones, or kind of just planning them despite the fact that they sometimes never happen. I feel like holding a small celebration of my decision in my room would give me the confidence I need to actually carry out the decision as I head into the new school year. But at the same time, throwing a small party is kind of like signing a contract to do the thing, and I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into. Also, as far as I can tell from google searches, throwing yourself an unmasking party really isn't a thing. So what would you even do? And is this even a good idea? I want it to be. I want to do it. But I'm worried I'll just throw myself a party and then not follow through on my promise. I'd probably take this slowly, so any goals or milestones I should make a list of? Also, have any of you ever done anything like this when you decided to unmask, if you did? I want to know if this is a totally crazy idea or actually real. Just put you thoughts here.



StrayCat81
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11 Aug 2022, 2:30 pm

Sounds dangerous, but if you feel like you can survive the worst possible outcome of unmasking (becoming acceptable target for bullying), I can only wish you luck! :3



Dragon729
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11 Aug 2022, 4:06 pm

StrayCat81 wrote:
Sounds dangerous, but if you feel like you can survive the worst possible outcome of unmasking (becoming acceptable target for bullying), I can only wish you luck! :3

I’m already my school’s “acceptable target for bullying “ despite my attempts at acting “normal “ so I’m not sure why I’ve kept going with this as long as I did. Thanks for the luck. I’ll be sure to use it!



klanka
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11 Aug 2022, 4:52 pm

I don't like to see children being bullied so you have my condolences, I would have to work out what unmasking would look like and figure out what are normal inhibitions and what is self -censoring.

I'm praying for you



Pteranomom
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11 Aug 2022, 5:11 pm

I like the idea of a party and definitely think you should throw one for yourself. Life is short. Have fun!

You might consider changing the theme from "unmasking" to something a little more flexible like "being the best I can be" or "being myself." Either way, I think when you present people with your real self, most people, most of the time, will respond better than to your fake self.



nebucasneezer
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25 Aug 2022, 5:27 pm

I'm also in high school and trying to unmask :)
I would suggest going slowly and giving yourself a lot of grace. I've found that some days unmasking takes more energy than masking (maybe just because I have social anxiety). Also, I feel more comfortable unmasking around certain people so I'll mask at school and then unmask at cross country practice. Or sometimes I just partially unmask.
I guess I'm just trying to say unmasking is good but it's probably going to take time to get comfortable without your mask so give yourself lots of grace :)
good luck! <3



nebucasneezer
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02 Dec 2022, 7:51 pm

nebucasneezer wrote:
I'm also in high school and trying to unmask :)
I would suggest going slowly and giving yourself a lot of grace. I've found that some days unmasking takes more energy than masking (maybe just because I have social anxiety). Also, I feel more comfortable unmasking around certain people so I'll mask at school and then unmask at cross country practice. Or sometimes I just partially unmask.
I guess I'm just trying to say unmasking is good but it's probably going to take time to get comfortable without your mask so give yourself lots of grace :)
good luck! <3


I've been thinking about what I said a lot and hoping it was taken the right way and not discouraging you to unmask :)
As the school year has gone on, masking has gotten harder for me. I'm realizing that I mask around my friends and family, too and really only unmasking when I'm by myself, and it's not good for me!
So I hope your unmasking journey is going well and I hope I didn't say anything rude or hurtful in my last post. :)



autisticelders
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03 Dec 2022, 6:49 am

years ago there were a couple of kids (middle school and early high school years) who were always picked on, bullied, etc. They talked with teachers/ admin and made a presentation about their diagnosis and their struggles (long before autism but there are other things folks got diagnosed with that made life hell for them). After explaining their diagnosis it seemed as if the mean kids tended to leave them alone. They still had labels of being odd or "that one" but they had that before. Once you do a 'reveal" of course there's no pretending... If I had only known back then why I was so "off" in everything I might have had my own open discussion.

Wishing you all the best and cheering you on.

Only you can decide what is right for you. ( You might seek the advice and support of family/friends/ teachers/ admin before you proceed. ) its a lot to deal with when at this age and stage of life (it says you are 14 by your name) when so much around us changes and we are growing /changing over almost everything just daily during this period of our lives).


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r00tb33r
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03 Dec 2022, 8:49 am

Sounds unnecessary.


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naturalplastic
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03 Dec 2022, 10:35 am

^
Yeah.

Kinda like me throwing a "gender reveal party" for myself ...because my parents forgot to do that for me sixty seven years ago! :lol:

Folks have figured out that I am boy by this time.

Even at your young teenage age folks have figured out that youre weird (even though they probably dont know a clinical label to put on your brand of weirdness).



Muse933277
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03 Dec 2022, 12:59 pm

Unmasking party?

Sounds kind of cringe, not going to lie.



Dear_one
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03 Dec 2022, 1:39 pm

Dragon729 wrote:
So, a little background- I was reading the Reader's Digest that my grandma sends me in the mail and it had an article about workplace burnout. And some of the details, especially the milder end of workplace burnout, kind of reminded me of myself. Not an actual job, but the job that interaction feels like it is. So I googled whether you can get burnout for masking autism, and the results I got actually made a lot of sense. Not saying that this has actually happened, because burnout is like an actual stress thing and you probably shouldn't try to diagnose yourself with it based on a Reader's Digest. But something weird that I don't like is going on. Some notes- I'm not sure how effective any of my masking is, but I am constantly worried about whether I'm getting read as autistic in any given situation. I also usually opt to not start or contribute to a conversation even if I really want to talk to that person, because my social skills aren't good enough, and I would be picked up as autistic. I hate it when I even think that that is happening. My second year of high school is coming up, and my first one was hell. I want my second year, if it ends up being hell too, to be it on my own terms. I want to stop caring about what I'm getting read as, and stop checking myself to see what I'm getting read as. I'm pretty sure this is defined as unmasking, right? I like holding myself tiny parties for milestones, or kind of just planning them despite the fact that they sometimes never happen. I feel like holding a small celebration of my decision in my room would give me the confidence I need to actually carry out the decision as I head into the new school year. But at the same time, throwing a small party is kind of like signing a contract to do the thing, and I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into. Also, as far as I can tell from google searches, throwing yourself an unmasking party really isn't a thing. So what would you even do? And is this even a good idea? I want it to be. I want to do it. But I'm worried I'll just throw myself a party and then not follow through on my promise. I'd probably take this slowly, so any goals or milestones I should make a list of? Also, have any of you ever done anything like this when you decided to unmask, if you did? I want to know if this is a totally crazy idea or actually real. Just put you thoughts here.


Even if you don't see any real break in the flow of your ideas, it is a good idea to throw in a paragraph break before ten lines just so the reader can see where the next line starts more easily.