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klanka
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29 Aug 2022, 9:11 am

Does anyone find it odd or unsettling when someone starts a thread not revealing anything about themselves,asking a personal question... but then never returns with any replies to their own thread?



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29 Aug 2022, 9:19 am

Yes.  It is odd.  I wonder what motivates such post-and-run actions, especially when there is no trolling involved.


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funeralxempire
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29 Aug 2022, 9:48 am

Not just OPs. I find it odd when someone pops into a discussion or debate thread to voice an opinion that's bound to draw responses and then refuses to engage with any discussion they've initiated.


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IsabellaLinton
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29 Aug 2022, 9:58 am

In my experience they usually say they are dating an autistic partner who is cold and aloof.
They blame their ND person for everything and beg for help.
Then we never hear from them again.

Magna and I used to just write "Pattern" and move on.



Fnord
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29 Aug 2022, 10:01 am

funeralxempire wrote:
I find it odd when someone pops into a discussion or debate thread to voice an opinion that's bound to draw responses and then refuses to engage with any discussion they've initiated.
Are you referring to thread derailments?  If so, there is another thread on that topic.

• • •

Anyway, there seem to be "a lot" of first posts by new members who never post again anywhere on this website.  I wonder why?  Did they get bored waiting for a response?  Did they forget their passwords?  Were they scared off by discussions in the PP&R section?


:shrug:


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funeralxempire
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29 Aug 2022, 10:04 am

Fnord wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I find it odd when someone pops into a discussion or debate thread to voice an opinion that's bound to draw responses and then refuses to engage with any discussion they've initiated.
Are you referring to thread derailments?  If so, there is another thread on that topic.


Not derailments because the comments are on-topic; they just behave more like someone splashing kerosene on a fire and running off, meanwhile others are actively tending to the fire (debating).


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29 Aug 2022, 10:15 am

I might have been guilty of what the OP of this thread describes, maybe once or twice. I sometimes come up with some questions or any random topic and start a thread. Then I kind of lose interest or feel too lazy to go back to it. Also, I half expect that no one will respond and feel there's no point in going back to my thread/post.

I also try to stick to a one-post policy. I only post once to a thread and say everything I want to say in that one post. I don't add any more to what I've already said. That makes things easier. I mostly stick to this policy, if not all the time. An obvious exception to this policy is that I post rubbish many times in long-running threads in Random Discussion just for fun.

Probably the OP of this thread is talking about other people, but the above is my reasons/excuses for what seems like a "post and run".



klanka
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29 Aug 2022, 12:22 pm

i can understand it to some degree as it can be overwhelming to consider the thread as your responsibility. it makes me not want to reply to such threads still though.



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29 Aug 2022, 12:52 pm

maybe it's an artistic choice~*~*~*



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31 Aug 2022, 9:23 am

This is an open forum. This means that anyone can generate a post. You do not have to prove that you are on the spectrum or have a close relationship with someone on the spectrum to generate a message or respond to comment. It is very open. That is probably not bad but everyone should keep this in mind when communicating.


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Trachea
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01 Sep 2022, 1:04 am

I find it difficult to know what to respond when people say things. Sometimes I write long replies and edit them many times for an hour and still decide they make no sense and remove them. I struggle explaining the "thread" of my throught in words, I think abstractly, that's why I write so much because words aren't very exact. For me it's easiest to answer others when I actually have something to say, I struggle making it up when their response is either comprehensive or I feel misses my point so much its not worth responding or I just don't understand it and don't really get the sense I would even if I asked questions.

Often someone will say something I have no script for so I don't know what to respond so I don't. Because of this common personal experience I can easily understand why someone would start a topic or say something and then doesn't engage. Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth? Or is this some specific type of person I have yet to encounter? Maybe I misunderstand.



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01 Sep 2022, 8:30 am

Trachea wrote:
I find it difficult to know what to respond when people say things. Sometimes I write long replies and edit them many times for an hour and still decide they make no sense and remove them. I struggle explaining the "thread" of my throught in words, I think abstractly, that's why I write so much because words aren't very exact. For me it's easiest to answer others when I actually have something to say, I struggle making it up when their response is either comprehensive or I feel misses my point so much its not worth responding or I just don't understand it and don't really get the sense I would even if I asked questions.

Often someone will say something I have no script for so I don't know what to respond so I don't. Because of this common personal experience I can easily understand why someone would start a topic or say something and then doesn't engage. Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth? Or is this some specific type of person I have yet to encounter? Maybe I misunderstand.

Yeah, I struggle with this so much and guilty of making a post and not always responding to people.

Off the wall section is more suited to me.


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01 Sep 2022, 2:49 pm

Fnord wrote:

• • •

Anyway, there seem to be "a lot" of first posts by new members who never post again anywhere on this website.  I wonder why?  Did they get bored waiting for a response?  Did they forget their passwords?  Were they scared off by discussions in the PP&R section?[/color]

:shrug:


As a new member, from my perspective it’s quite daunting trying to get involved in a new place online. It’s a bit like walking into a pub and loudly announcing ‘Hey everyone, I’m new here!’ while waving frantically. Not that I’d ever do that, but it’s what it feels like to me.

I’d also be less likely to continue to post if I hadn’t had any response or only a few replies to my first post. Personally I find it just as hard to interact online as I do in the ‘real world’.



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02 Sep 2022, 3:58 am

Trachea wrote:
For me it's easiest to answer others when I actually have something to say,

Well, yes, of course. Not much point in responding when we don't have something to say.

Trachea wrote:
Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth?

Yes, although some of us find written communication to be much easier than in-person communication.


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02 Sep 2022, 4:29 am

Georgiebee wrote:
As a new member, from my perspective it’s quite daunting trying to get involved in a new place online. It’s a bit like walking into a pub and loudly announcing ‘Hey everyone, I’m new here!’ while waving frantically. Not that I’d ever do that, but it’s what it feels like to me.

I was quite nervous the first time I posted here too.

Georgiebee wrote:
I’d also be less likely to continue to post if I hadn’t had any response or only a few replies to my first post.

Agreed. It is VERY important for groups to have at least some people who make a point of being friendly to newcomers.

Fortunately, here on Wrong Planet, we do have some people who make a point of being friendly to newcomers. (Hopefully enough such people as to make newcomers feel welcome, but not so many as to make newcomers feel overwhelmed.)


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Trachea
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02 Sep 2022, 1:31 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
Trachea wrote:
For me it's easiest to answer others when I actually have something to say,

Well, yes, of course. Not much point in responding when we don't have something to say.


Well, but that is the point. How should I answer if I have nothing to say? I just can't make up something or repeat what is obvious, that's a waste of time to me and everyone. Maybe someone thought a topic was a good idea for discussion but then didn't feel the answers gave them anything to grasp hold to, or maybe people misunderstood what they meant.

Mona Pereth wrote:
Trachea wrote:
Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth?

Yes, although some of us find written communication to be much easier than in-person communication.


Yes, but that's why I said I understand, maybe a lot of the autistic people who come in and write one topic or reply to one thing and leave, probably don't find it all that much easier. I feel writing is maybe 20% easier than in-person communication for me. I enjoy writing better than talking, but it exhausts me just the same, sometimes even worse, because I don't know the person's tone of voice and they don't hear mine so often people read me as aggressive when I feel I am just matter-of-fact, which I am mainly exactly because it's so exhausting I feel pressure to get it to be over quickly. Also sometimes you don't know if anyone will respond or if people will misunderstand. It's quite stressful.