DuckHairback wrote:
I don't think its odd at all. We're sold a romantic myth that attraction should be instant and overwhelming. Hollywood loves to tell the story of two people who are simply 'meant to be together'. Of course it's horsesh*t but it's pervasive and I get the appeal - it's searching for meaning in chaos.
Yes, people can be instantly attracted, but it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, that instant attraction develops into a long-term relationship of enduring strength, often it doesn't (notice how romance stories typically end after the heady catharsis of consummation - no one wants to hear about the slow grind that follows).
But also people who aren't immediately attracted can develop feelings over time. When I met my partner, I was instantly attracted to her, but she felt nothing for me until we'd known each other for over 4 years. We've been together for nearly 20 years now.
I completely agree & you said it much better than I would have
In the old days people usually got married for political, social, & economic reasons & love was something that developed after. Sometimes people fall for each other after spending a bit of time together. I would not have been interested in a relationship with my 1st girlfriend when we met online cuz I was not wanting a relationship & there were various things about her that woulda made me very cautious. She was not looking for a relationship either at the time. We had various things in common & really connected & were best friends when we fell for each other. I know of some cases where people were living together for some reason & then they developed feeling for each other. In some of the cases the women might of felt indebted to the guy because he helped her out of a bad situation.