An aspie's struggle with dating

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jtab7800
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29 Nov 2022, 2:19 am

I'm a man who was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2002, when I was about to turn 28. As a result, some of the things that I say might not sound like what you'd typically hear from an aspie who is as nervous as I am -- because of such a late diagnosis, I was raised like I didn't have Asperger's. I'm a bit nervous about posting here, but I'd still like to say hello to everyone before I start pouring my heart out, so that's why I'm starting out by saying hello to everyone.
I've long wanted to find a woman that I can give my love to, and I have so much love in me. But some women in the world, in my own personal experience, seem to think that men with autism are not worth their time. I suspect that there are women who are not like that, but they've been rare in my life.
I've been through a lot in my life, including our home burning down when I was a child, and sustaining a serious injury that almost cost me my right eye. When I was 17, the only girl who ever gave me a single chance ended up moving in with another guy, and the pain from it almost killed me. As for the two women who ever had anything to do with me during my adulthood, neither one of them had much of an understanding of it, although the second of those two did a small amount of research, but things didn't work out with her.
The loneliness that I've been forced to face has gotten to where it's killing me. It's even caused some anxiety attacks recently. I'm 48 now, and still nothing. I wonder if that'll ever change, and if any woman in this world will ever find it in her heart to give a guy like me a chance.
I promise any woman who does give me a chance that I will treat her with absolute love, and the utmost respect. Thing is, I can't get a woman interested in me to save my life, let alone so much as meet one.
I feel like I'm pathetic. I feel like I'm living in a broken, uncaring world. The depression puts me in tears a lot, and I've learned the hard way how much depression hurts. I just don't know what to do to get a woman interested in me, and look beyond what she sees on the outside. I have so much love inside of me, but no one to give it to.
I've tried online dating, but that can be like a trip to hell (I hope it's okay if I put it that way) for someone with a disability. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want people who are not on the autism spectrum to realize that those of us who are on the spectrum should not be seen as bad people. I've been told that I use a lot of metaphors, and sound poetic at times, but I apply that approach to the song lyrics that I write too.
If I said anything the wrong way, then please have it in your heart to give me a chance to do better, and don't ban me from here. I'm new to Wrong Planet, and I'm trying to get used to it. I'm so sorry if I said anything wrong.



Mona Pereth
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29 Nov 2022, 7:14 am

jtab7800 wrote:
Thing is, I can't get a woman interested in me to save my life, let alone so much as meet one.

Many autistic people have great difficulty finding romantic relationships, but some of us do manage to find them.

Do you have any platonic friends?

What is your social life like generally?

What are your hobbies/interests, if any?


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jtab7800
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29 Nov 2022, 1:06 pm

The only platonic friendship that I have with a woman is with the last woman that I dated years ago. We turned out to be better off as friends, instead of us dating, but I'd really like to find someone to build a relationship with.

Other than that, my social life is not much beyond a few friends that I have, and they also have various disabilities. I've been around people with disabilities since I was 3-years-old, starting with my younger brother. During my childhood, I had a friend with Down Syndrome. And years ago, I worked, for eight summers in a row, as a counselor at a day camp for kids with disabilities. Those experiences taught me how to care, and be compassionate.

I do have hobbies and interests. I have a love for music. I also love movies and TV. I'm learning how to play guitar, in hopes that I can start a music career with my eyes on playing a hard rock style with a pop edge, maybe infused with influences from the wide variety of musical genres that I grew up hearing. I've been practicing my vocals ever since I was 8-years-old, when I started finding out that I can sing, and I started writing songs when I was 11. I've been collecting baseball cards since childhood, and I have thousands of them. I also collect movies that I like, from genres such as action, comedy, drama, and sometimes a movie that might be a mix of different genres. I also like riding horses. I go bowling sometimes too. I like football and baseball, and my favorite team is the Green Bay Packers. There are other things I like too.



klanka
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29 Nov 2022, 5:47 pm

The only thing that worked for me is prayer. I met someone.
We split up about two years ago. After my spending some time praying per day we got in contact again.

I should hopefully be getting married in a few months, God willing.

When I wasn't spending hardly any time in prayer I would meet someone and something would happen to sabotage it. This happened for the whole two years.
.



Last edited by klanka on 29 Nov 2022, 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jtab7800
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29 Nov 2022, 8:16 pm

At this point, though, and at my age, I'm losing hope. I don't know if prayer will help me, but it might be worth a try.



johnnyflowers
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08 Dec 2022, 1:03 pm

HI Jtab,

Sorry to hear about your struggles. I'm NT and I can tell you that dating is not easy for anyone. I have NT friends that struggle with finding a date or a woman to get into a relationship with. A lot of factors have to come together for two people to be compatible. Unfortunately, it all starts with some sort of physical attraction. But one can always make themselves more physically attractive to a woman with personality, humor, confidence, etc. Every woman has different things that attract her.

Don't give up hope. What part of the process (dating) do you feel that you failing at? Are you having trouble finding single women? Are there none in your area? Do you get dates but they don't followup with a second date? Do you have trouble talking to women? Happy to help if you give me some specifics that can be worked on. I think you need to break down where you lack in skill and work on it piece by piece. I'm here for you.



nick007
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09 Dec 2022, 12:34 pm

Welcome aboard jtab7800. I hope you like this community & it helps.

Unfortunately your type of post is not uncommon here, except the posters are generally younger so I doubt you broken any unwritten rules here or crossed any lines. Autism can make dating & relationships much more difficult for some of us, especially if we have various comorbids or various problems unrelated to autism.

You mentioned that you have friends with other disabilities & you worked with disabled kids. Have you sought out women who have various disabilities even if they are not on the autism spectrum? I have various disabilities besides autism & what ultimately worked for me was seeking out women who were also disabled. I was single & looking aLONG time but I woulda been single longer or still might be single if I had not tried that approach. Perhaps women who work with disabled people might could be worth seeking out as well. Or single moms with a disabled kid, I'm only tossing this idea out since you worked with disabled kids at a summer camp & please ignore it if you do not want to be a parent.

I don't know what your living situation is like but if I had my own place or a bit of money & resources when I was single, I woulda taken in a woman who needed a place to stay or tried the mail-order bride route(international dating if you prefer that term). I was very desperate & very painfully aware that VERY few women would be willing to give me half a chance if their circumstances were more normal. I'm not really recommending that but it's another idea.


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jtab7800
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10 Dec 2022, 12:16 am

Quote:
What part of the process (dating) do you feel that you failing at? Are you having trouble finding single women? Are there none in your area? Do you get dates but they don't followup with a second date? Do you have trouble talking to women?


I have to warn you that I'm known for being detailed with things. I'm sorry if this is too long. I feel like I fail at everything about dating, and it seems that every time I see a woman out in the world, I would low-key notice the biggest sign that she's already taken -- a ring on the ring finger of her left hand. In the area I live in, it seems to be extremely hard to find anyone who's single, let alone anyone who would ever be interested in me.

A lot of times, I compare myself to Jon Arbuckle, the man that Garfield and Odie live with in the Garfield comics. For a lot of years, he couldn't get a date to save his life, until the veterinarian, Dr. Liz Wilson, finally became interested in him, and she's been with him ever since.

What Jon Arbuckle used to be is how I am. I don't even get dates, and I can't get a date to save my life. I can't get any woman on this Earth interested in me, and I always respect them, and talk respectfully to them. I think it's at least 100x harder for someone on the autism spectrum to generate any interest than it is for anyone who is neurotypical. I feel completely invisible to women. It's like a couple of lines from the Queen song "Invisible man" -- "I'm the invisible man/I'm the invisible man/Incredible how you can see right through me."

I tend to feel a bit of nervousness when talking to anyone, until I become comfortable with who I'm talking to, and that usually doesn't take me very long, once I know that the person will not hurt me the way I've been hurt before.

I've been through things that you would never wish upon even the worst enemy you've ever had, and my depression and some of those traumas are why I've been speaking with a therapist -- I'm hoping she can help me set those traumas aside somehow, so I can make my life better than it has been.

My therapist told be that it's not uncommon for aspies to have some pretty early memories. To give you an idea of how much I've been beaten up in my life, both mentally and physically, I can tell you that mine started out with a bang -- when I was three, I stood in my grandparents' front yard, and watched our home next door burn down, and in the house that we moved into, I had a recurring dream that a fire was starting. That might've been trauma driving that dream.

When I was four, I almost lost my right eye to an injury -- my Dad was cutting the grass, and he didn't see the piece of gravel that was in front of him. The lawn mower, which did not have a guard cover over its ejection chute, threw the piece of gravel right into my eye, and Dad felt horrible about it. The pain was an extreme that I never knew existed, and I still remember that day vividly.

At the hospital, they did x-rays, and I was scared, because at that age, I didn't know what an x-ray machine is. Even though I had an eye injury, there was a man who held my head down on the x-ray table so hard that the pain was excruciating, and my screams were bloodcurdling. That traumatized me even more, but the man seemed like he didn't care. Mom fought doctors who wanted to remove my eye, and replace it with something like a glass eye. Instead of removing my eye, they repaired the damage, and it took almost a year for me to recover. When I got out of the hospital, I couldn't even stand up -- they had injected something into my legs that would keep me from running around during recovery. Dad held me when I cried in fear.

When I was 10, I faced the death of a family member for the first time -- my grandmother. I remember breaking down in Dad's arms, and he held me for as long as I needed him to. Only two years later, when I was 12, I had a friend who passed away from an asthma attack, and it terrified me to see the body of someone my age in a casket. To top it off, I was bullied relentlessly throughout my years in school, and in some schools, teachers and principals constantly beat me with a wooden paddle for behavior that no one knew was related to autism.

I didn't have a normal teenage life -- for the first two years of what was supposed to be high school, a school official, who wasn't capable of noticing signs of autism, put me in an alternative school that was like a last chance school for teenagers who wanted to avoid juvenile detention, and they didn't have high school curriculum. They were more into teaching you vocational stuff. I finally got some high school curriculum when I got out of that school, where the bullying was at its worst, after almost two years of having to fight my way through that place. Fortunately, I made two friends there who didn't belong there either, and they helped me get through that God-awful place.

That's the school I was going to when the only girl who ever paid any attention to me as a teenager ended up hurting me so much. She went to a different school, but rode on the same bus that I rode on.

In my adult life, the only two women who ever wanted to give me a chance -- well, you can see what I put in my first message at the top of the page. And even in adulthood, I lost another friend who passed away, and in 2009, I lost my father, and the pain from losing him was more than I could've ever imagined. My mother is still around, though, but she seems to not be as understanding as Dad became after my diagnosis.

It's safe to say that my life has been like a slow walk through hell, a place that, it seems, I haven't been able to escape from. Some of it probably was my fault. I'm not afraid to admit that I make mistakes, and that I'm not perfect, but a lot of it wasn't my fault. A lot of it was the fault of other people. I've learned that when someone does something to you, such as bullying, it's not your fault -- the bully is the one with the problem. I know that I mentioned having friends, but there were very few friends during that time.

I'd love to get out from under the shadow of all the bad things in my life, and do whatever I can to make my life better, but I'm not sure what it'll take to do that.



nope64
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10 Dec 2022, 1:35 am

Seriously guys? You're talking about women like they are aliens and you're trying to trap one. Just, idk, go talk to a woman? Did you know women have autism/aspergers too? Please please don't take dating advice from strangers on the internet!! All the comments here are really sketchy (mail order bride?? seriously??) just go talk to a therapist or a real live human woman.



jtab7800
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10 Dec 2022, 1:36 am

nick007 wrote:
You mentioned that you have friends with other disabilities & you worked with disabled kids. Have you sought out women who have various disabilities even if they are not on the autism spectrum?

I don't know what your living situation is like but if I had my own place or a bit of money & resources when I was single, I woulda taken in a woman who needed a place to stay or tried the mail-order bride route(international dating if you prefer that term).


The two women I dated during my adulthood both have disabilities, and it didn't work out with either one of them, and it's not because of their disabilities. The first one made me feel uncomfortable with how crazy she got sometimes. She overreacted to a lot of things, and there wasn't really any convincing her not to.

With the second one, I dated outside of my race, which I've always been open to doing, and still am open to it, because I'm not bigoted against anyone in any way, and I never will be bigoted.

Among a lot of other issues that we couldn't get past, along with her not being as understanding as I'd hoped, she had an extreme jealousy problem -- she would blow her top and have smoke coming out of her ears if I even innocently said hello to any female, even at a check-out counter at a store. The jealousy was at an insane level.

Like I said, I'm not bigoted against anyone in any way. I see everyone as the human being that they are. I've always seen everyone that way, because, even when I was a kid, I never saw any reason whatsoever to be bigoted toward anyone. My parents were never bigoted either. They never had any complaints or issues about me associating with kids from other races. Of the few friends I've had in my life, I've had friends of different races and ethnicities, and I absolutely loved having those friends. For example, the childhood friend who had Down Syndrome had a Korean mother, and I thought she was a really nice person. She always took care of him, and he was my best friend at the time. There were circumstances that I couldn't control that led to me not seeing those friends again, such as moving around constantly during my childhood.

The fact is that it doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter what ethnicity or race you are. If there is anyone who will give me a chance, I will give you a chance too, and I will date you. Wait -- did I just sound something like Liam Neeson in the movie "Taken?"

It might not be easy to tell sometimes, but I developed a sense of humor over the years, and Mom told me that I let out some zingers sometimes.

Anyway, when it comes to my living situation, it's me, my brother, and my mother. I help her with my brother, who has spina bifida, a disability that left him paralyzed from the waist down, and he uses a wheelchair to get around. I don't know if that kind of situation would cause a woman to lose interest in me or not.

When it comes to international dating, we have a good friend who is originally from the Philippines, and the only dating site I'm on right now is the Filipino Cupid site. I tried the Plenty of Fish site, and got just barely any hits on it at all. I get more hits than that on Filipino Cupid. Is autism better understood in other nations or something?

There used to be a website called Asperger's marriage, about a woman in England who married a man who is on the autism spectrum, and that gave me a little hope, but that hope has been fading in recent years.

When it comes to kids, I would love to have a family of my own, but I just don't want to wait until I'm the age that George Clooney was when he finally got a family of his own. I get along well with kids, and they don't really get on my nerves. I like to make them laugh a lot. That's one of the reasons why I saw success at the summer day camp that I mentioned before. One of the kids was a boy who had spina bifida, and I was the one who took care of him every year at the camp, because I knew more about spina bifida than anyone else at the camp did. I learned about that disability from my experiences with my brother.

One year, at the camp, a kid gave me a compliment that almost had me in tears -- he told me that I was the best counselor at the camp. I did my best at the camp, and I never expected him to say anything like that, but it made me feel so good about myself that day. Those are the kind of days I enjoy -- days that put a good feeling into me. I wish I had days like that more often.



Magda.Regula
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10 Dec 2022, 4:12 pm

You shouldn't be too desperate. That, and the depression, could easily turn people off, even if you were neurotypical.

You need to remember that even if we have difficulties finding romantic partners due to our relationship, there are some neurotypical people who are single for years.

My partner is autistic too and we met on dating website before I realised I'm autistic. He was diagnosed at 39, me at 38.



CJ27
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10 Dec 2022, 5:25 pm

Have you tried going to an Asperger's socialization group? That is where I meet my boyfriend.



Muse933277
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11 Dec 2022, 11:00 am

Date a woman from The Philippines. It is BY FAR the easiest country in the world to get a girlfriend. Sign up for an online dating site that is filipino based and I can guarantee you that will get some matches, maybe even a lot of matches.

Because you're 48, I'd really only recommend going for filipinas who are 35 and up. Because you're a foreign man, you could date a 25 year old from there since age gaps arne't as big of a deal in The Philippines, but I don't think this is a good idea. The younger you go, the more likely she is to use you and less mature she is.

But if you find a nice woman who's 37 years old who shares your values, she could be a great partner.



rse92
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11 Dec 2022, 5:03 pm

What do you do for a living? What did you do for a living before what you do for a living now?

Where do live? EDIT: You do mention this. Sorry.

Nowhere do you mention either of those things. They tend to be big concerns for women, especially those around your age.



jtab7800
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12 Dec 2022, 3:38 am

Magda.Regula wrote:
You shouldn't be too desperate. That, and the depression, could easily turn people off, even if you were neurotypical.


Beware that I'm not feeling good about myself tonight, and that's where some of this comes from. And also be aware that every word I'm saying is in a calm voice, with a tinge of frustration. I am not angry at anyone here, and I never have been. I don't get angry and yell very often, and I'm not yelling here. I just have honest questions. That's what it is.

I absolutely do want to know if I'm wrong about this, so I won't make the same mistake again. If I'm wrong, I hope that omeone can tell me in a kind way. Usually, when I'm wrong, I get snapped at. But I always try my best to correct my mistakes. But let me see if I can interpret what you're saying to me -- first, I'm going to tell you that the truth is, the vast majority of girls (during my teenage years) and women (during my adult years) gave me a lot of my depression, by acting like I'm not worth even the smallest amount of their time, like I'm the garbage that they send to the landfill every week. The question is, now, after pile-driving me into the ground with behavior that left me with depression, do women expect me to have a perpetual smile on my face so someone will be interested in me enough to find it in her heart to give us a chance to get to know each other? In other words, do I have to fake happiness in order to find happiness? I feel confused, and sometimes, it's not easy for me to realize what someone means by what they say.

I can't help but think that one reason why I've been ignored during my life is because I wear glasses, which I've worn since I was about 4-years-old. I can't help the fact that I have visual problems. My visual problems are not my fault. Believe me, I'm absolutely not the only person in the world who has visual problems, but mine were exacerbated to a degree by my childhood eye injury, which means one of my lenses has to be stronger than the other.

I'm most likely wrong about this, and I'm never afraid to admit when I'm wrong, but the impression I've gotten, from everything I've ever seen in my life, is that a lot of women want nothing less than a male supermodel, because they all seem to drool over guys on TV and in movies that they think are so hot. Is that really true?

I've always been good to people, because that makes me feel good, but me trying my best to be a good person never seems to attract women. For a span of a lot of years, in the first two decades of the 2000s, up until about 2017, I smiled a lot, and I didn't look like I was feeling down very often. I thought that would help, but that never, ever got anyone interested in me, except for just one woman that it didn't work out with, and I haven't had another chance since.

It's like they're super-hyper-uber-strict about what they'll accept from a man, especially a guy like me. Women seem to make themselves so impossible for a guy on the spectrum to gain any interest from them. Plus, I'd have a hard time telling if a woman is interested in me or not. I might not realize it at first, and that can probably lead to blown opportunities.

I'm of the belief that I've never been seen as attractive by very many women. Why can't women ever look beyond the surface, look beyond a guy's face, and see what's inside? Most of them make me feel like the ugliest, most undesirable guy in the world, when I'm just as human as they are.

I absolutely love women, and I always have, but they seem to not like me. What did I ever do to make them not like me? A lot of times, I feel like every time a woman out in the world sees me, she thinks "Ew! Ew! Ew!" I wonder if there are some women who think I'm a gross-out or something.

My brother, who has spent his life in a wheelchair with spina bifida, has had a woman in his life since 2009, and they're engaged. And my brother has been on dialysis since 2014, the year he almost passed away on us at a hospital. I was so scared that I broke down in tears several times -- I thought I was going to lose my only sibling. If he can meet someone, then why can't I? I'm truly happy for them, and I'm glad he found someone, but every time I see them together, I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

And besides, I don't really show my desperation in front of anyone out in the world (I think I have on this page), except in private when I talk to my mother during times when I'm depressed, but she doesn't have a really good understanding of it.

Every time she has an anxiety attack, I respect her feelings, and I do my best to help her through it. Every time I have an attack, she seems to get irritated, and she says things that absolutely do not help me fight it off, so I'm usually on my own when it comes to my attacks. I have to lay there as a never-ending wave of fear takes my chest hostage, and then it migrates to the pit of my stomach for a while before easing up.

I honestly do not like going through those, but there's been enough trauma in my life to cause a degree of PTSD, and I feel that I can't allow the PTSD to be visible in front of anyone, or that'll drive people away. I've always been so afraid of driving people away from me because of any part of my disability. The traumas have also caused me to lose a lot of my faith in humanity, especially since 2016, the year my friend Jim passed away at age 46.

I've started having my anxiety attacks out of fear that I won't ever have a life, and that it's never been in the cards for me to have a future. I can never get a chance to even so much as meet anyone, and that makes me feel even more pathetic than I did when I was bullied for so many years.

But in order to find my happiness, even my mother makes it sound like I might have to fake happiness until I do. As I said, sometimes, I might need a little help in getting a grasp on what someone means by what they say.

Here's a strike against me that I might've already mentioned in a previous message: I haven't learned how to drive, so the only times I can get out anywhere is with my mother. She knows how to drive, so she has complete and total control over where I go, when I go, and how long I'm at wherever I go. That hampers me tremendously, and I don't want to be hampered any more than my disability has already hampered me.

Things got so much better with my Dad and I when I was diagnosed. He understood me a lot better, but Mom has had a harder time understanding. I'm not afraid to admit that, on the day Dad passed away at age 60, I shed enough tears to fill Lake Superior.

I already don't feel like a human being, and sometimes, I can't really stand myself for being a person who can't get any sort of life going for himself, because of so many undue restrictions caused by my disability, and by other things such as not knowing how to drive. If there is a God, then he seems a bit on the cruel side -- sometimes, I think He gave me my disability so things would be so impossible for me that they'll never happen. I feel like He put a curse on me that won't lift.

Everything my family and I have been through is enough to make a person consider becoming an atheist. The average life expectancy in my family has not been high -- men in my family very rarely make it to 70, and some of the women haven't made it to 70 either -- and that's one of the reasons why I need to build a life for myself while I'm still alive.

Going as long as I have without a successful relationship can be demoralizing enough to make a guy give up completely, and resign himself to living in the pain he's been in all his life, without any happiness. I feel cursed, with no hope of anything. There have been too many tears in my life. That needs to stop, and happiness needs to begin after 48 long and extremely difficult years.

I was completely denied knowing what it was like to be young and in love, and that was a devastating and cruel denial. I know what cruelty is, because i've been the target of it so much in my life. Maybe I've gotten too old to have any hope anymore. I've started wondering if it's time for me to give up on it, since the search has beaten my heart completely into the ground, and caused a lot of pain in the form of the search consisting of not even getting to even meet anyone at all.

Sometimes, I feel like I am the pathetic excuse for a human being that women (probably unintentionally sometimes) make me feel like. I feel like the black sheep of the world -- you know, someone who's meant to spend his life being nothing but shunned for existing as an aspie. I feel like a man with a worn and broken heart that needs what's missing from his heart, but it's nowhere to be found.

I'm so sorry about the length of these, but the way my brain is, once I get started, it's so hard to stop. Sometimes, I even feel like I have to apologize to some people for my disability. And I apologize if I have too much baggage for any woman to want anything to do with me.

All I do know is that If a woman gives me a chance, and we fall in love with each other, I will sweep her so tenderly into my arms, tell her how much I love her, tell her how truly beautiful she is to me, kiss her with a passion unbound, and do everything that comes after that. And there is no way that I would ever hurt anyone. That's the kind of guy I am. These days, Mom tells me that I'm kind-hearted. Why, then, does it seem that no one wants that?

Domestic violence has skyrocket since the pandemic began, and it makes me wonder why a woman would choose a man who would hurt her, when she deserves to be treated with love and respect, and never be hurt. I even wrote a song about it called "Angel with a Broken Heart." Part of the song asks why a woman would want to make herself the target of the hands of hate (an abusive man), instead of walking into the arms of love (a man who will be good to her). It makes me wonder if a self-esteem problem is involved.

I tend to have a cooler head than some people in the world do, and I don't like to have arguments with anyone. That's because Mom and Dad had so many loud arguments while I was growing up, and I trembled in fear every time they did. I've wondered if there are times when fear can be more magnified for an aspie than it is for someone who is neurotypical, or if it's the PTSD that I've been, for the most part, silently dealing with. And I hope I didn't make the kind of typing mistakes that would confuse a person.



jtab7800
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 29 Nov 2022
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 11
Location: Panama City, Florida

12 Dec 2022, 3:47 am

Muse933277 wrote:
Date a woman from The Philippines. It is BY FAR the easiest country in the world to get a girlfriend. Sign up for an online dating site that is filipino based and I can guarantee you that will get some matches, maybe even a lot of matches.


I'm already on filipinocupid.com, and I have a cousin who is married to a man from the Philippines. But the thing is, I've already had at least three women on that site ask me for money, which I didn't give them. And on a different site, one for people all over the world with disabilities, something even worse than that happened, and I might've mentioned it in a previous message. A woman who claimed to have a disability turned out to be lying about everything about herself, except for the way she looks, so it hasn't exactly been going swimmingly. But my therapist told me about a site called Uneepi (uneepi.com). I found it hard to get anyone interested in me on the Hiki app.



Last edited by jtab7800 on 12 Dec 2022, 3:50 am, edited 1 time in total.