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ivyeight6
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15 Dec 2022, 8:08 pm

What is like for someone to have family members to have birthdays in December, even though their birthday doesn’t fall on the month themselves?



Joe90
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15 Dec 2022, 8:20 pm

It's annoying. My boyfriend's birthday is in December and I feel I have to think double when it comes to buying him gifts.

I wish people would try their hardest not to conceive in March. One of my nephews was due in December but he came a month early. I know November is near December but it still makes all the difference.

I always think of birthdays as a different holiday to Christmas, probably because my birthday is in April. So in our living-room at Christmas there are birthday cards as well as Christmas cards, and a helium birthday balloon as well as a Christmas tree.

I feel sorry for kids who have birthdays in December.


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ivyeight6
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15 Dec 2022, 8:29 pm

So. What are you trying to say?



Joe90
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15 Dec 2022, 9:29 pm

I thought I written it clear enough?


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ivyeight6
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16 Dec 2022, 6:54 am

You did.



kraftiekortie
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16 Dec 2022, 8:32 am

It doesn't really matter to me.

I wouldn't think of "not conceiving in March," just so I won't have a December baby.

I'm a New Years Baby plus One myself. Eight days after Christmas.



IsabellaLinton
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18 Dec 2022, 11:10 am

I conceived in May on purpose, so I wouldn't have a December baby.
December would make them the youngest in their class, as well being close to Christmas.

I was due in February, but my preemie was born in December on my mother's birthday.
Now we have two birthdays on the same day, which is the fifth day of Christmas.
She also ended up the youngest in her class, every single year.
That wasn't easy, especially when she was already delayed (autism), and preemie.

According to my daughter:

She has to wait "a whole year" for any type of gift.
Not to sound material, but sometimes she needs things at other times of the year.
School was always closed on her birthday, so she didn't get any birthday wishes in class.
School friends seldom came to her birthday parties because of holiday obligations.
Sometimes they actually forgot about her birthday party because they were on holiday.
Sometimes people are snowed in and can't travel to see her.
One year she invited about 8 children, and only one showed up.

She doesn't like getting Christmas things for birthday (e.g., Christmas movies or plushies).
She doesn't like Christmas wrap or anything red / green on her birthday wrap.
Her birthday wrap is usually pink or floral to make it different.
Stores don't sell birthday wrap in December (I kid you not), so I have to buy it in the summer.

Her birthday is "that week between Christmas and New Year" when no one wants to do anything.
Prices are higher for restaurants / travel because it's close to New Year.
Everyone is burnt out and doesn't want another family gathering (including her.)
Now that she's in her 20s, most of her friends fly south on vacay during that week.
She can't go with them because she has to see my mum.

She has to plan the day with her grandmother, since they share a bday.
It's never a surprise because she has to coordinate what they do.
She likes having a shared birthday, but feels she can't make her own plans on her own.
Mum never wants to go anywhere or do anything, and my daughter feels guilty making other plans.
She also has to spend money on her own birthday, buying things for my mum.
They share a cake which is usually the type my mum likes.

In recent years she's had a lot of meltdowns on her birthday.
This is because of burnout and social fatigue from Christmas.
She can't just "skip" her birthday because we always have to see my mum.


My thoughts:

It's hard for me because I never know how to divide gifts between Christmas / birthday.
It's also a burden because I'm flat broke this time of year.
Adding her birthday and mum's birthday on top of Christmas is a challenge.
I hate to say but my son gets more for his birthday because I'm not broke from Christmas.

If I save a wanted gift for my daughter's birthday, she often looks sad on Christmas.
That's because she doesn't know if I forgot, or if she'll get it four days later on her birthday.
I tend to give more of the "good stuff" for Christmas so she won't have to wait and wonder.

If I wait to buy her birthday stuff after Christmas, there's nothing left in stores.
It's Boxing Week, so people go crazy and buy up everything in sight on discount.
Stores are full of unwanted Christmas junk, and other people's returned / unwanted gifts.
The inventory is always bad after Christmas.

I have a few things here to wrap later today.
I don't have any clue which will be Christmas wrap or birthday wrap.
I'll likely give it all for Christmas and figure out the birthday later.
Birthday is usually more sentimental (boring) gifts, compared to Christmas (fun).

Example: I'll likely give her two DNA kits for Ancestry for her birthday.
She's wanted them for a long time and it seems more "birth" appropriate than Christmas.
As a child she got a lot of figurines and keepsakes for her birthday, to differentiate it.
I'm sure if she was born any other time of year, that wouldn't happen.

The best part: She likes skating and horseback riding in the snow.
The worst part: Feeling like an afterthought.


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r00tb33r
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18 Dec 2022, 11:52 am

^ For that reason I prefer opportunistic gift-giving. Giving when the person needs something and I can give, and not waiting for special occasions.

I also hate the pressure of obligation to come up with something for special occasions.


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Joe90
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18 Dec 2022, 12:31 pm

Here August babies are the youngest in the class.


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Trueno
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18 Dec 2022, 12:36 pm

My mate was born on Christmas Day. He’s never had a proper birthday, but I always send him a separate card.


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IsabellaLinton
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19 Dec 2022, 11:38 am

r00tb33r wrote:
^ For that reason I prefer opportunistic gift-giving. Giving when the person needs something and I can give, and not waiting for special occasions.


Yes, in theory that's good. As a single parent, I get what they need all year long. It's my job to buy clothes or special items as needed, because there's no one else to help. I can't call all that stuff "birthday gifts", when it's really "parenting".

We'd still need to celebrate her real birthday with my mother, so it wouldn't solve anything.

My mother taught me it's bad luck to celebrate a birthday early, but in their case we can't celebrate late because it would be New Year and then the wrong calendar year, and the whole thing gets confusing.

It's funny because if she was born 2.5 days later, my daughter would have started school a year later and she would have been among the oldest in her class. I think that would have made a huge difference for her. The only downfall is I would have had to pay an extra year of daycare to her nanny since she wouldn't have been in school.


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19 Dec 2022, 12:03 pm

September 11th is another unlucky day to have a birthday.

September is not all that great anyways, because after the summer people are getting back to the routine of school and work. January for the same reasons but worse. Not only are people tapped out mentally, but financially, and the weather is bad.

kraftiekortie wrote:
It doesn't really matter to me.

I'm a New Years Baby plus One myself. Eight days after Christmas.

A lot of years that is the first day back from and people are dragging ass.

Mine is September 20th which sometimes coincides with the Jewish High Holy days. For those that do not know they are not holidays but serious days.

But after cancer and knowing I am autistic, I am just grateful to survived another year.


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IsabellaLinton
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19 Dec 2022, 12:20 pm

Happy Hanukkah, ASPartOfMe and Kraftie. ^

I've never known anyone born in January except for online friends.


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ASPartOfMe
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19 Dec 2022, 1:11 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Happy Hanukkah, ASPartOfMe and Kraftie. ^

I've never known anyone born in January except for online friends.

Thank you, Merry Christmas to you.


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