Buying into NT programming
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Why?
I think she was joking.
Buying into NT programming may be a part of it but I also think a part of it is just, your ability to concentrate for long periods of time can determine your success in both education and employment. Some people, through not fault of their own (they're not just "lazy") can't sustain concentration and that means they won't be able to join the middle class income bracket. Things like home ownership and fancy cappuccino machines may be forever barred from them.
The main problem for me is executive dysfunction.
We are not "lazy".
We simply do not have enough "spoons" to go around.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
Why?
I think she was joking.
Buying into NT programming may be a part of it but I also think a part of it is just, your ability to concentrate for long periods of time can determine your success in both education and employment. Some people, through not fault of their own (they're not just "lazy") can't sustain concentration and that means they won't be able to join the middle class income bracket. Things like home ownership and fancy cappuccino machines may be forever barred from them.
The main problem for me is executive dysfunction.
We are not "lazy".
We simply do not have enough "spoons" to go around.
What part of "I agree with you" don't you understand?
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Buying into NT programming may be a part of it but I also think a part of it is just, your ability to concentrate for long periods of time can determine your success in both education and employment. Some people, through not fault of their own (they're not just "lazy") can't sustain concentration and that means they won't be able to join the middle class income bracket. Things like home ownership and fancy cappuccino machines may be forever barred from them.
We are not "lazy".
We simply do not have enough "spoons" to go around.
_________________
The days are long, but the years are short
I am not advocating being a hermit, or just saying f**k it. Learning new skills is a good thing, and for most people having success requires faking being NT at times. But when you do fake it always remember that you are doing it to gain something, not to do the impossible and become an NT.
Yep, it likely would have been a different life experience if I had known why I was sanding off basically everything about me that stood out and becoming more or less a grey man before bolting on features to help me succeed. I'm not entirely sure if it would have been better for me over all, but it would have been less problematic in terms of being a soon to be mid-40s married man who has basically no idea who he really is.
I do think that unlike being in the closet for other things that some degree of masking is pretty much mandatory if you want to get anything done in public in a world that's set up for NT as even if they are being very tolerant, it still is a drag to have to work through the communications issues that are likely to crop up.
(Though I will admit that being a 200+ lbs., man that seemingly appears out of nowhere is kind of cool sometimes)
You'll have to be patient with me. I used up most of my energy trying to survive the heat.
Same here, I've seriously considered trying to talk my boss into letting me rent out one of the corners of the dairy cooler to live in during the summer. I miss having a legitimate reason to be in there for hours out of the day, and as long as I didn't touch too much stuff, it was very comfortable.
Fortunately, I'm lucky enough to have an airconditioner for my bedroom so that at least I can get some sleep during the summer. It hit 110F last year for the first time and fortunately, it's not likely to be quite that hot any time soon, but really anything in the 70s and up can make us stupid.
MuddRM
Velociraptor
Joined: 2 Sep 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 439
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township, PA
Why?
I think she was joking.
Buying into NT programming may be a part of it but I also think a part of it is just, your ability to concentrate for long periods of time can determine your success in both education and employment. Some people, through not fault of their own (they're not just "lazy") can't sustain concentration and that means they won't be able to join the middle class income bracket. Things like home ownership and fancy cappuccino machines may be forever barred from them.
The main problem for me is executive dysfunction.
We are not "lazy".
We simply do not have enough "spoons" to go around.
I wish someone would have told that to my Pennsylvania Dutch family.
It didn’t matter if it was something mental or developmental: you’re flat out lazy and deserve nothing. As it is written in the New Testament book of Timothy “Those who don’t work, don’t get to eat.”
It's also mentioned in Thessalonians
2 Thessalonians 3:10-12
King James Version
10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
I dunno, in my case I don't think I've "bought into NT programming" as you put it. I more study it as an explorer might study what's in the noggins of the natives. Then I just try to remember that they're different in some ways, and behave accordingly so I don't go and wipe my nose on their sacred rice paper or turn their holy cow into beefsteaks. But those things will never be truly sacred to me, only to them. I see some of it from their point of view but I don't adopt that view as a replacement for my own.
I don't quite know what this "logotherapy" is. Me, I just accept that I have to be practical and not spend too much time crying over spilt milk. But if I don't like a thing, I won't embrace it. I might pretend to, but in my heart of hearts I still won't like it, and if I ever get the chance to neutralise it, I'll consider doing that. I guess that this "logotherapy" targets people who are habitually dwelling on problems they have no immediate solution to, prolonging their agony. Clearly that's unhealthy, beyond the reasonable expression of feelings of frustration. But maybe I misunderstand the matter.
But at the same time she wants to be their friend.
I am not talking about wholesale buying into NT programming. Even I don't do that. But let's not kid ourselves. Living in this social construct we all take steps in that direction. People who claim they don't are lying to themselves.
My point is not to feel bad about it. Either way we are all outsiders to NTs. Many of our autistic community successfully engage, find life partners, friends among NTs. It's not like I'm talking breaking new ground. Just a fresh perspective.
What you're saying is "everybody has to be a house n****r in order to survive"(regardless of your skin color, or your neurology) . Which...I totally agree with! You have to adapt to society because society aint gonna adapt to you.
https://youtu.be/lj66AQ2uzug
Sorry, i probably didn't articulate myself in a subject area I'm not an expert in. The one principle Vicktor Frankel made from his own person experience that is relevant to autistic people is this one
All humans have the capacity to a find meaning. A meaning to any circumstances in life, even the most absurd and painful ones.
I feel Frankel's insight suggests that there is purpose for all of us. NTs (regardless of cultural background) all value people who live with purpose that benefits wider society in some way.
There is no judgement. So long as the person accepts they have limitations (whatever it might be) that they find something purposeful in life that helps others. It doesn't have ot be unconditional or altruistic (I mean it can be a paid job) but NT programming is that we must all find our place in the village.
Pretty much. There is some overlap in your analogy. African Americans had capacity to contribute to American society. The irony is placing them in 2nd class status was harmful to America's development as a country.
Same with people with autism, they have capacity to contribute more than they are sometimes permitted. But here's the thing if you find that there are barriers you can't remove, you maximise your potential with those constraints. NT programming is literally that.