likedcalico wrote:
He is looking forward to having a relationship with me and he thinks we have known each other for a while because to him a month is a long time and I keep telling him "nit it's not" because one month and few months isn't a long time. A few years is. I don't want to rush into a relationship by deciding to be his girlfriend after knowing him for a month so I am asking how long should I wait till I decide to be his girlfriend. Three months? Six months? A year? What?
I know what's going on! He's never been in a romantic relationship before, and now that it looks like he finally found one (with you), he wants to make it official ASAP. I don't blame the guy for feeling this way. I felt exactly the same when I found my first relationship, and I didn't even care that wasn't physically attracted to her. So as a favor to your future boyfriend (hopefully), be more understanding of his situation. While you've been in relationships before and know what they're like, he's probably been looking for a relationship for a very long time, and from his perception, he finally found one, so he wants to experience it right away.
As for you personally, tell him you'd prefer to spend more time together before committing to a relationship. Just make sure he knows you still want to be with him. You can tell him something like this (his possible thoughts will be
in italics):
Quote:
I noticed that you've been wanting to make the relationship official. In regards to that, I have something to tell you. I like you a lot, and I like spending time with you. (you're still interested) But I feel like we need to get to know each other more before committing to a serious relationship. I take relationships seriously (which would include a relationship with him), and wouldn't feel comfortable committing to someone I haven't gotten to know well (you're being honest and consistent with him). But just because we won't be official, it doesn't mean we can't spend time together and do romantic things. We can still do what we've been doing all along (reassure him that he won't lose anything from not being in a relationship). If we still get along this nicely after getting to know each other more, a serious relationship would be a wonderful thing (there's still hope to find what he's looking for). I want you to understand how I feel, and I hope we can still spend time together (you don't want him to lose interest just because you can't give him a relationship right away).
In my opinion, however, I think three to six months is a good amount of time to wait before making the relationship official. Whether or not you decide to talk about seeing each other exclusively is up to you.
Last edited by Aspie1 on 13 Aug 2007, 12:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
13 Aug 2007, 4:30 am
