I HATE Aspergers!!

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I really really hate having Aspergers. I have ALOT of pain in my feet & lower legs, it had to do with when I broke my ankle 4 & half years ago. I been stuck in my apartment, I have one step on my porch, I can have sooooo much trouble bending my legs. I can still walk, but I can’t stay on my feet too long, when I’m on my feet, I can have alot of anxiety & I can breathe too fast. I have a walker & a wheelchair, I been getting help with cleaning my apartment & other stuff too, some of them were cleaning people, I have a trust fund that my mom left. When I feel alone with nobody to help me, I get sooo overwhelmed, I get extremely extra anxiety even in my wheelchair. I really hate forgetting things too, for days, I been wanting to get a new trash bag for my bedroom, I keep forgetting, I’m sooooo bad at alot of things, I forget to check my emails, I had over 300 emails to delete, I still have to delete my emails, I can forget to read my regular mail, I hate reading my mail for alot of reasons, 1. I don’t have too much patience anymore 2. It toooo much 3. It can be soooooo hard for me to understand cuz of my Learning Disability 4. I can get anxiety if I can’t understand what I’m reading 5. I can cry too 6. I’m can get so overwhelmed. I have brain of a 5 year old. I been wanting to die cuz I CANNOT HANDLE things anymore, I get extremely very bad anxiety, breathing too fast, very very overwhelmed, I just want to die, I want to die in my sleep, I want my mommy, I want to go to heaven to be with my mom again. It will be 10 years in June without her.

Go see a therapist. You're having an extreme breakdown.

Sorry you're feeling so bad Kitty. Have you tried deep breathing to calm you down and getting a diary to help you get organised?

It's even worse for an ethnic minority person like myself.

^ No offence intended, Ghulam, but it isn't very helpful for Kitty to say that it's worse for you. I can relate, and am sorry you're having a tough time because of the extra barriers you face as an ethnic minority.

Kitty: I hope you're doing ok. How are you today?

Did you try yoga? I found it's not so hard to start a yoga routine. Just get a yoga mat and start with a short duration. Like 2-3 minutes. Keep the yoga mat visible, so you don't "forget" you want to do yoga every day for at least 2-3 minutes. When you're used to it, increase the duration, try different poses etc.

sending best wishes for physical comfort and rapid healing. ( I get that clumsy stuff, me too , completely exasperating!)

I am sorry, i know what a mess life can be with aspergers. I often make lists everyday, to keep myself organized and to have a routine.
Routines and ticking things on my "to do" list helps me feel calmer.

I hate autism more than words can say but apparently it's offensive to all autistics if we say we hate it. But I don't think it is, as I'm only speaking for myself and my own personal experiences s**t it causes.