How to find a partner that doesn't want kids?
Careful what you wish for.
Aged care tends to be a pretty low-paid job, so it has a tendency to attract some people who don't care about doing a good job.
That would solve the issue quite conclusively.
Then you just tell new partners you can't have kids.
That's dishonest!
The partner would try to adopt, and will feel cheated when you shoot them down.
There's an important difference between "can't" and "refuse to no matter what".
This isn't the first time you have been noted for making abusively selfish statements regarding conduct toward partners.
No idea what you're on about.
I didn't say lie.
Say you had a vasectomy because you don't want kids.
That's the truth.
The only difference is that the decision is already made on your end.
It wouldn't seem as personal as saying you don't want kids with THEM.
It wouldn't become a negotiation.
This has nothing to do with lying or being selfish.
For the record my brother's wife did lie in that way.
She married him saying they'd have kids.
Turns out she had uterine cancer and didn't have a uterus.
She faked periods, ovulation charts, and trying to conceive.
That was a boldfaced lie bc she didn't even tell him about the cancer.
Also -
Why would a partner try to adopt if you told them you had a vasectomy BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT KIDS ?!
That's abusively selfish.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
That would solve the issue quite conclusively.
Then you just tell new partners you can't have kids.
That's dishonest!
The partner would try to adopt, and will feel cheated when you shoot them down.
There's an important difference between "can't" and "refuse to no matter what".
This isn't the first time you have been noted for making abusively selfish statements regarding conduct toward partners.
R00tb33r, this isn't the first time you have wrongfully attacked Isabella.
I read this previous post you're talking about. Issy did not make an abusive statement.
I ask that you stop continuing to attack Issy - this is now the fourth personal attack I have witnessed.
There is nothing abusive in their post.
_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis
If OP doesn't want children he should do something proactive like having a V.
The alternative is to be in a relationship where the woman is responsible for contraception?
She takes the pill or has an IUD?
Why should his decision affect her body's hormones?
Then if there's an accident and she conceives, they're stuck with bigger decisions.
I don't know what the big deal is.
Lots of women get their tubes tied or make definitive choices about fertility before dating.
If the OP is that decisive and knows he won't change his mind, I don't see what the issue is.
I'd do it when single, before taking the chance of unprotected hookups.
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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Mikurotoro92
Veteran
Joined: 30 Aug 2022
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 767
Location: Mushroom Kingdom or Bikini Bottom
I could, but I’ve had to have other procedures in that department, including childbirth, so it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me.
A vasectomy has a quicker recovery time than when a woman gets her tubes tied.
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Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess
Women and transmen sometimes elect for tubal ligation if they're already in hospital having a laparoscopy or other pelvic procedure for endometriosis or ovarian cysts, etc.
Some elect for a full hysterectomy if they have difficult and painful cycles or PMDD.
There are gynaecological considerations beyond just not wanting children.
_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
I had mine burnt shut after second c-section when they were already in there .
They cut them and burn them shut, less likely to grow back together.It can happen, a neighbor’s daughter had hers regrow.
Now it’s pretty easy to get it done by laser and the scar can be covered with a bandaid.No long hospital stay, I think you can leave the same day.
Not a cheap as a vasectomy.
I think both should be free as a public heath service.
My son wants a vasectomy but his insurance won’t cover it.So stupid.
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I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi
(well I mean I DO it's just that I'm scared of pregnancy, C-sections, labor, the "ring of fire" burning sensation when the baby's head is crowning, etc)
That and I already care for my mom so I'm not sure if I am ready or even capable of taking care of a baby!
It's just not for me and IF I ever decide I want a child I would either adopt one or go through a surrogate
Hopefully this isn't a deal-breaker for my boyfriend because I am so close to finding love and my soulmate/life partner...
I want a baby but I haven't, for the same reasons as you. It's another thing I resent my ASD for. I'm hypersensitive to pain, and I overthink things and cliches like "just bear through it, you'll have a little baby at the end of it" doesn't work on me. My fear of pain and long-term damage that pregnancy can do (like bladder issues) overtakes any suggestions or advice.
There are a lot of complications that can happen during pregnancy and/or childbirth, and I'm amazed at how billions of women aren't put off having a solid being growing in their bodies that will have to come out somehow, whether it's through being cut open or being squeezed out between the legs. Either way is painful and unpleasant and scary.
I can't even have a smear test without almost dying in agony, and I had to go on the pill because I couldn't bear the period cramps.
I envy guys for not having to go through all that.
Birthing is only the beginning of the pain.
...What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?!?
"Terrible twos..."
"Adolescent terror..."
Costing $250,000 on average until age 18.
Kids putting you in the nursing home.
Kids pulling the plug so they can get the inheritance.
Interestingly enough, my grandmother had been nagging me about wanting to leave her apartment to me (despite the fact that I already have my own home), and every time I said I don't want anything. Truth is, I can't bear the thought of the few dear people in my life not being around, and just having their things around. I'm sentimental like that. I don't want anything that isn't mine, and I get to live with a clear conscience that I had worked for and earned everything I have.
So there are only two ways it can be.
1. I'm just better.
or
2. You're plain wrong.
And since nobody would believe 1 to be true, therefore it must be 2.
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Enjoy the silence.
It was quite reassuring even though we were never active in that way.
I had the V done about twenty years ago.
When the doctor put the numbing needle in down there, you could have told me that Danica Patrick was pole dancing naked in the operating room and I wouldn't have moved even an eyeball.
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