I think I'm working with someone with ADHD

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I haven't really met anyone else with ADHD before. But there's a guy at work who seems very much ADHD. No, he isn't loud and hyper. But he appears to have these symptoms/behaviours:-

- He often arrives late even after being told off many times about it, and he can't seem to think of a reason why he's late, it just keeps happening

- He "wears his heart on his sleeves" (expresses feelings more than the average man, and is very sensitive)

- He doesn't always listen during conversations, like he's not paying attention

- He's very caring and kind but a lot of people don't like him because he unwillingly gets himself into social conflicts due to impulsiveness, which leaves him out of the clique

- He loves his job as an engineer and is extremely detail-oriented about it (sometimes it's common for people with ADHD to become hyperfocused or detail-oriented on their interests, in his case engineering)

- Although he's a very hard and honest worker and very passionate about the job, he frequently makes careless mistakes and gets into trouble, then gets upset and frustrated because he's unsure why he makes the mistakes or even what they were

- Yes he is very organised with his tools but it might be due to his engineering passion, but he seems disorganised in other ways, like not getting the work done on time

- I get along with him. I feel there's a connection (friendship) between us and I can understand his issues while most others can't. He openly appreciates those like me who do understand him


I don't think he knows what ADHD is, as he's in his late 50s, and I don't like to mention it in case he does know he may have it but doesn't want to discuss it (which I can understand).
Do you think this sounds like ADHD to me? Yes I know you can't diagnose a person you don't know, and I'm not asking that, I'm just wondering what you think and if it looks like I'm dealing with another ADHD individual here. Like I said, I've never really met another ADHD individual in person, so I'm just curious.

Interesting, does he drink coffee?

I am ADHD and ASD. I would say ASD was more frustrating in my first 20 years but since then ADHD was more of an issue. It took me until my mid to late 30s to really accept how debilitating ADHD is and how to self medicate.

I started to realize I was ADHD when I could take stimulants and get relaxed. Even coffee - I can take a nap after drinking my after lunch coffee. As a result, I've moved on to espressos (bought a machine!) to keep me from falling asleep in the afternoons.

This week, I too had a conversation with a coworker about ADHD. I told her I drink a lot of coffee to combat ADHD. She said she thought she was, so I asked her if when she opens her work laptop, she finds it hard to immediately start working and instead reads the news. She said she did. I did not know being an "open" person at work was a sign of ADHD. I assumed it was ASD. I've never been a closed book and also don't get embarrassed easily. So, I often don't really care about sharing details about my life - if I've been at a place for over a year, more than few coworkers will know quite a bit more about me than I know about them. I like sharing my story as I think its a good story (lost mother young, lost a brother in a tragic surprise type way, my father was a raging NPD person, struggled with depression, ASD, ADHD, and now am doing well enough to support a family of 7).

I was happy she was talking to me about it. She too has problems with deadlines, and I do too if I do not keep to my espresso strategy. Before I started drinking espressos, I had difficulty completing work on time. I have been going to Starbucks a lot, and I've found that I can get a weeks worth of work done in about 3 Starbucks sessions a week. They got powerful coffee there, and something about the environment being the right amount and type of background noise really helps.

I definitely need white noise in the background or I can't focus. I also need airflow, so I usually have a fan. The nice thing about Starbucks is they have music that I don't pick, which provides a good low stimulus plus doesn't give me the option to think about changing it.

She asked me if I ever went to a doctor and I told her I didn't trust doctors with that stuff. I did go in my 20s and they pushed anti depressants on me, which was a disaster. I read that they prescribe amphetamines to adults now, and that too me seems extreme if strong coffee works for me.

If I ever become rich, I will have to thank espressos. Without coffee in general, I would have a difficult time holding a job. ASD only keeps me from being a conformist manager type someday. I reached my autistic ceiling in my career, but ADHD is the one thing I deeply worry that could cost me a job someday.