Can't stand ''toxic'' positivity.

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I had never heard of the term Toxic Positivity until yesterday when I saw a video about happiness in life. Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how dire or difficult a situation is, people should maintain a positive mindset. While there are benefits to being optimistic and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely-positive façade.

I seem to think I see a lot of people like that on TV and in the real world who come across like they are always happy and positive and I seem to think it envies me probably because I want to be like them with that kind of mindset but for some reason something is in the way to get it and I don't know what it is. There is a part of me that some how makes me find it irritating and I don't know why. I feel bad sometimes because I don't feel like I am on those types of people because I keep getting plagued sometimes by negative and worrying thoughts which are hard to get rid of.

I feel my family are obsessively positive and I have become the lightning rod for anything negative. It drives me nuts and makes me self destructive (mainly with alcohol and overeating).

My dad has 'Stan's family book' which conveniently ignores the problems I've had with my Mental Health and my older sister who suffers from MS.

Yeah, it's ableist.
I call them "unsustainably happy".

No one should tell others how they have to feel about anything.
Marketing people use it so we'll buy their products.
That's wrong too, and makes more depression bc we'd all be broke.

Humans are all capable of feeling a range of emotions and none are negative or positive. They just are. These people who go on about being positive all the time are either fooling themselves or restricted in their emotional range IMO.

They annoy me too, it's not normal to be positive 24/7. It's normal to feel and show a wide range of emotions.

There is a brilliant book called Smile or Die: How Positive Thinking Fooled America and the World. It uncovers the dark side of this obsession with positive thinking.

Toxic positivity can play a part in keeping people in bad situations, like cults, toxic work environments, and abusive relationships.

I get irritated whenever I’m confronted with it. I tend to utilize sarcastic, internal commentary which helps.

I'd like to point out though that I'm not saying all positivity is a bad thing. Of course its a good thing but I don't think it should forced upon someone if that person is having a bad time or in a negative mindset for a period of time and made to feel guilty or ashamed if they are feeling negative in that moment.

I've never found trying to "fake it until I make it" to actually work. It just makes me feel even worse when I finally give up/in.

We can't really deny the facts, no matter how much we want to, so we have to accept and work with/through them.

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I didn't equate a lack of "toxic positivity" as meaning we should be negative all the time. I took it as meaning we should just be our real selves, whether that's authentically positive, neutral, or even in a bad mood sometimes.

Personally I spend most of my time in neutral or at least projecting neutral to people who don't know I'm fine on the inside. I don't do grand, enthusiastic gestures to show I'm happy or to project that on others unless of course it's spontaneous and I can't help it. I don't usually smile even when I'm happy.

When I'm supporting others I don't try to tell them to be happy or look at the bright side unless that's what they want. It doesn't mean I encourage them to dwell in a quagmire. I might just be friendly or support them with logical / practical information depending what's going on. I might crack a joke if it's appropriate (dark humour works with my kids), I might just listen or make them a nice meal, or whatever it takes to show compassion. It's OK to be positive or say positive things too. That's different from "toxic" positivity, standing on my head and doing cartwheels 24/7 so other people with think it's bad to have a rough day.

Having never heard the term before and reading some articles about it, "toxic positivity" is more of threat to oneself than to others. OP is clearly not toxically positive; he may be the farthest thing from it. But he envies positive people. If he believes these positive people are "toxically positive", he ought not envy them -- as he does -- he ought pity them. He should think of that way. Problem solved.