Look at where their feet are pointed, it can indicate where they want to go, and therefore what they're interested in.
Crossed arms means the person is self soothing because they're possibly stressed or just cold.
People who are confident take up more space by spreading their arms or putting their feet up on things.
People trust you more if you show them your hands. Open hands that they can see means you're not hiding anything.
I have a lot of this stuff, wrote a whole book about them. It's kind of useful, but it's a lot to keep it all in your head.
Edit, here's some of the notes from research. It's not all formatted and tidy, but maybe it's useful.
Body Language
Everyone expresses themselves differently through body language. You have to learn that person’s way of expressing themselves to really get a good read on them. However there are general motifs that can help get started.
People learn to send the wrong signal through body language. This is either to mask their inner life or to maliciously subvert how they’re perceived. Be careful about trusting signals explicitly.
Understanding body language is related to how the person thinks. There are four main types of thinking that apply to body language.
Lookers (75% of people) - Thinks in images. You can tell a looker by the following traits. Appearance is important to them. Stands up tall. Dresses well. Holds stress in their shoulders (shoulders are tense). May have a wrinkled forehead from looking up when they remember something they’ve seen. Likely to have thin lips (weird?). Gives lots of eye contact. To build rapport with a looker, give them lots of eye contact. They will believe that if you are not looking at them you’re not paying attention. Give them words that have a visual component to them (I see what you mean. Look at this. Picture this,).
Listeners (20%) - Thinks in word and sounds. Appearance is not as important to them. Looks down and to the left when remembering something they’ve heard. Will often put their head in their hand (called telephone posture). Tendency to mumble to themselves (thinking out loud). Pen clicker, taps things on tables. To build rapport with listeners, don’t give eye contact it freaks them out. When conversing, look at them briefly and then look away. Use auditory words (That sounds good to me. Let’s talk this over.)
Toucher (5%) - Think tactilely, think in feelings. Huggers. Dress for comfort rather than style. Likely to have full lips. Have a tendency to lean in to reduce the physical space between you and them. Tendency to reach out and touch your arm while in conversation. Tendency to look down because thats where you look when you remember something you felt. To build rapport, if you’re comfortable, let them hug you, if not comfortable, give them a point of contact to touch (like shaking hands). Use language that has a feeling to it or is tactile (I want to know how you feel about this. Let’s get in touch. Reach out and talk to me about this.).
To know which you are, imagine something significant that happened to you. If you remember it like a movie (pictures of what happened) you’re a Looker. If you remember what was said and describe the situation to yourself you’re a Listener. If you primarily remember how you felt, you’re a toucher.
You will imagine that everyone thinks the same way as you do.
Rules For Reading Body Language
There are two main type of body language signals, comfort and discomfort.
Look for clusters of behaviors, not just one gotcha movement.
Look for changes, when a person’s body language starts off one way but changes during a conversation, it’s a stronger indicator of hidden feelings. This is often referred to as “looking for the baseline.”
Consider the context, the environment and even a person’s background can skew how they display body language.
Mixed signals usually means someone’s masking their body language. Often a person will try to mask negative body language with positive so seeing negative indicators are more revealing.
Pointing
It’s possible that pointing is conceptually connected to touching. There are a number of studies that testify to that idea. Thinking of pointing as remotely “touching” the thing being pointed at might explain a lot of taboos about pointing.
If you think about pointing as if you’re symbolically touching the thing you point to it explains why (for instance) you shouldn’t point at people.
Staring
Many people feel uncomfortable when stared at. This extends to things like public speaking when many people are staring at the speaker.
There is the philosophy that possibly explains people’s uncomfortableness when being looked at as the act of turning that person into an object. This “objectifying” is often in reference to sexual interest but some people feel it even when looked at in a normal conversational context. Somehow, being looked at makes them feel like they are not a person. This may or may not include being looked in the eyes. The Greek myth of medusa might have some connection to this perception.
In many cultures the idea of staring is linked to cursing someone. This is called the “evil eye” and many cultures attribute supernatural power to it.
Face
When someone is comfortable, the muscles of their face are usually relaxed and the chin is further out. A furrowed brow or a tucked in chin signals discomfort.
In most expressions a facial expression is symmetric. In some situations, the two halves of someone’s face can show different emotions and these can be difficult to parse. When someone is showing two different emotions, each on one side of the face there is something that’s not right going on.
Hard Swallow
When a person clears their mouth of saliva and forcibly swallows, this is a sign of tension or worry.
Chin Up
A raised chin is a sign of confidence. May even move up and down during a statement to indicate confidence in each word.
Nose Flare
May indicate getting ready for strenuous effort.
Males may flare their noses around people they’re attracted to.
Tilted Head
A slight head tilt indicates that the person is interested because they’re turning their ear towards the speaker.
A strong head tilt signals the person is incredulous about the information they’re giving or receiving. They might be emphasizing sarcasm.
A woman may unconsciously tilt her head to show her rounded jaw line, signaling femininity to a potential mate. This may be accompanied by playing with her hair.
Hair
A woman playing with her hair or flipping it away is likely signaling attraction to a person.
Neck
Women may signal attraction by touching their neck, especially stroking it.
Eyes
When a person stops making eye contact they’re under higher cognitive load. This can be because they’re not paying attention, paying attention to some secondary subject, struggling with the conversation or they might be trying to maintain a lie.
In a conversation when a person is making normal eye contact but breaks it by looking away or closing their eyes it’s usually to maintain a lie in their own mind.
A person that is looking away during a conversation may have lost interest in the conversation or the person they’re talking to.
Frequent blinking means the person is under higher cognitive load.
Looking down signals that the person is absorbed in what is coming towards them but can’t look up to face it.
Looking to the side means they’re interested in something else. This can be used as an intimidation tool by looking off to the side of someone that’s trying to intimidate you. It signals you’re not a threat and they’re more concerned about something else.
If a woman raises her eyebrows but lowers her eyelids, she’s trying to attract the person she’s talking to.
Eyes Widened
Indicates the person is trying to take in more information. Can indicate arousal, fear or that they feel confronted.
Furrowing Brow
Can indicate seriousness or troubling information is being conveyed.
Arched Eyebrows
Indicates passion or excitement. Often used to indicate you’re recognizing someone you like.
Squinting
This can be a signal that the information a person is getting is “out of focus”, confused or unclear especially if they turn their ear to the speaker. It can also signal that they are focusing on a particular thought as particularly important.
If someone widens their eyes but then squints, they’re internalizing something very negative.
Eye Blocking
Also called a face palm, means the person is blocking out something negative.
Often if a person is feeling shame, they’ll scratch their forehead as a form of brief face blocking.
Shoulders
When someone shrugs their shoulders, even unconsciously, it means they’re uncertain about something.
When someone shrugs their shoulders while making what should be a definitive statement they could be lying. This is often a very small shrug, done very quickly.
When someone rounds their shoulders, slouching while standing, this can indicate lack of confidence or discomfort.
Torso
A person often will turn their torso away from a threat. If they suddenly turn sideways to you, it’s a indicator you’re dangerous to them. The limbic system automatically turns the ventral side away from danger. This is true of physical and psychological threats.
A person who is interested in a topic will turn their torso to face the person they’re interested in.
If someone covers their torso with books or bags, even just their crossed arms, they likely feel threatened.
Males may puff out their chest when they’re getting ready for a fight. They may also do this around people they find attractive.
Putting your arms behind your back indicates confidence, authority and possibly a desire for distance.
When a person shakes your hand, if they face their naval towards you, they like admire and trust you. If they don’t like you, they’ll angle their body so that their belly is at an angle to you.
Leaning in may signal attraction or just interest in a topic. It can also signal scrutiny based on the situation. Leaning back is usually a sign of disengagement either from disgust or being casual.
Breathing From The Chest
A person that was breathing from their belly that switches to chest breathing is likely trying to hold back an intense emotion.
Lips
“When we don’t like what we see or hear, our lips disappear” - Janine Driver
When a person curls their lips in, they are showing that they don’t like what they are seeing or what is being said. Consider it like the person is trying to lock dangerous things from entering their mouth or body. This includes what they are saying or doing. It can also be a sign of high stress.
A lip purse, pressing the lips together but sticking them out indicates distain or disappointment.
When someone has a one sided smile, it’s a sign of contempt.
When pressing lips together at the corners of the mouth it signals distain for an idea.
A especially powerful indicator of distain is an asymmetric expression where one upper lip is curled up.
Mouth Blocking
When someone is trying to keep themselves from saying something or almost said something they shouldn’t they’ll cover up their mouth.
Feet
People will often mask their interest by not looking at things they’re interested in but they often will still point their feet at a person or thing they’re interested in. They may point a foot away from you if they don’t like what you said.
When two people are talking, if they’re feet are pointing towards each other, the conversation is closed off to others. If they’re facing at angles to each other with their feet pointing out into the room, they’re open to others joining.
Bouncing or wiggling feet indicate excitement, satisfaction or impatience. If they suddenly stop moving their feet, usually planting them firmly on the ground, they’re stressed or feeling a strong emotion.
Lifted feet, either the toes or the heals lifted from the floor indicates happiness, excitement or interest.
Crossed legs while standing means the person is comfortable. They can’t quickly get away in this stance, showing they’re not going anywhere. Will often tilt their body toward the person they’re interested in.
Crossing feet at the ankles can indicate discomfort or stress.
When someone plays with their shoe, usually women’s high heels or other heelless footwear, this is usually flirtatious.
Crossed Legs
If someone crosses their legs so that the leg on top is facing you, they’re using it as a barrier to protect against you.
If you are on the side of the lower leg, they’re comfortable with you.
Knee Clasp
While seated, when someone clasps their knees, they’re indicating they’re ready to leave.
Hands
When someone stretches out their fingers suddenly, it’s a fear reflex (moro reflex) that gets them ready to hang onto something.
Stroking an arm or neck indicates a great amount of stress and is a self soothing mechanism.
Someone who is sensing danger may cover their neck or mouth with their hand. This is a vulnerable area that predators attack to suffocate prey.
When people can see your hands, they see you as open and more charismatic.
Be aware of hiding your hands, it is varyingly considered disrespectful or hostile. Linked to possibly hiding a weapon. Someone that is fearful may clasp their hands protecting their valuable digits. They may also hide or tuck away their very valuable thumbs. This behavior is evident in contests and games where someone feels their position is weak.
Steepling the hands, signals power and authority. Pointing the steeple at someone means you’re channeling your authority towards them.
Thumbs exposed while the hands are in pockets shows confidence. Putting just the thumbs in pockets indicates a lack of confidence.
If a male places their thumbs in their waistband so that their hands “frame” their genitals they are displaying dominance or indicating sexual interest.
Chop
A chopping action with the hand during speech indicates the person feels they’ve reached a limit of the idea they’re discussing.
Pinched Fingers
This is called a “precision grip”. The person is trying to articulate an idea very carefully.
Open Palms
Indicates the person is receptive to something.
Wrists
Showing the underside of the wrist, sometimes by waving the hand around is a display of submission and often femininity.
Approach
Men don’t mind being approached from behind but it can be stress inducing to women. It’s better to approach a woman from the front or the side.
Size of Movement
When a person moves around their surroundings freely, they are at ease. If they gesture to the full length of their arms they are taking ownership of the space they’re in as a sign of authority.
Large expansive motions like both arms stretched out are calls for attention.
As a person’s arms move up, it indicates their mood is good. As their arms drop or become lifeless it indicates a bad mood.
When someone places their hands on their hips, called hands akimbo, they’re making themselves bigger, this is a confidant stance but also could be a demand for authority.
Placing their hands behind their head, the hooding effect, is a claim for territory and usually is accompanied by taking up as much space as possible.
If they are constrained, they may feel that their environment is hostile to them. They could feel that moving around may cause them harm.
If a person normally would gesticulate while speaking but keeps their arms at their sides, they are restraining themselves for some reason.
The width of someone’s stance can indicate how confident they are.
Leaning
When a person is leaning on something, they’re casual and feel like they can relax or very tired. They may lean towards someone they’re interested in.
Leaning back can mean confidence but can also be taken as disregard for authority.
Microexpressions
By definition a microexpression is an expression that flashes faster than it can be recognized, it is possible to notice that a microexpression occurred. If you do notice a quick expression change, you know there was a strong emotion that the person was trying to repress.
Real expressions tend to be short lived on the face. Quick flashes of expression are likely to be real while holding a sad or happy expression may mean the person is trying to signal an emotion they’re not really feeling.
Last edited by Emmett on 17 Apr 2023, 4:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
07 Apr 2023, 1:49 pm
