Thinking I wish I could shut that party down

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I don't know why but because I'm hearing music from a party and people singing, screaming and so on down in the road in their back garden is leaving me feeling like I've being missing out because I hardly ever regularly went to parties as I have few friends and it makes it feels as though I haven't ''lived'' until I've tried it. This sounds like I'm someone who doesn't know what fun is or how to have fun etc and that I'm spoiling other peoples' enjoyment of things. I do love to enjoy music but for some reason I'm not enjoying it because its all probably full of people much younger than me going wild and its leaving me feeling bad because in my late teens and early 20s as I have said before I hardly ever went to other people's 18th or 21st birthdays, concerts etc as I had few friends. I feels like I've just wasted time not having the experiences that I feel like everyone else goes through except me.

I feel I haven't lived because I didn't have a big 18th, 21st and 30th Birthday with lots of friends round and partying into the night and getting hung-over. I never did unlike other people might have done it. I'm seem to feel bad because my milestone birthdays were not big parties with lots of people and taking selfies and getting wasted. I seem to feel ''We'll what would all that achieve ?, Is it going to make me feel content that I had and been to massive wild parties and getting a hangover ?''

Look on the bright side. They'll wake up tomorrow with a hangover, you won't.

Have been to very few parties myself and haven't enjoyed them.

I'm the same as you. I celebrated my 18th and 21st birthdays with my family (mum, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins). When I was around those ages I didn't really have anyone I could call friends, apart from one or two but they weren't into parties either and weren't really the type to celebrate birthdays socially. I feel lucky to have loving family around me to celebrate my birthdays with but I still feel like the only person in the world who didn't spend my 18th and 21st birthdays out partying with friends.

When I was coming up 18 I got an advertisement thing in the mail for good places I could book "for all my friends" to celebrate my 18th (I think it's something everyone gets when their 18th is coming up). It sent me into a self-loathing depression because I didn't have any friends to do that with and I felt socially isolated and wanted to commit suicide.

I couldn't do anything for my 30th because it was right at the peak of the pandemic and right in the middle of the first lockdown, which I was disappointed about. But being 30 I didn't dwell so much on not having many friends to party with, as I was in a relationship by then (and still am of course) and so all that mattered to me was spending my 30th with my boyfriend and our families - which I only couldn't do because of the pandemic.

I think when you get a girlfriend (which chances are you will someday, I believe in you) you'll probably dwell on these things less. Most people our age are settled down in relationships or even with kids and are less inclined to want to go out and party. Some still do but it doesn't feel so socially isolating if you don't than what it did when you're in your late teens and early 20s.

I hope that last paragraph didn't make you feel worse. But things will get better once you find a girlfriend, which I can understand why you feel depressed because of not having a girlfriend. You deserve a girlfriend and I really hope that special girl will find you soon. It doesn't matter how old she is as long as she's a consenting adult, and I'm sure you'll make a great boyfriend. It will happen, trust me.

I'm somebody with few friends and I feel bad and feel like I've wasted life while everyone else was experiencing parties, clubs, going to concerts, and being around a larger number of friends than me and as a result maybe ended up meeting more new people including a future partner and then end up by now have their own place and their own children. I feel like I can never rid myself of these thoughts of feeling like because I didn't do a lot of these things its left me feeling like I really have wasted my time not having much wild fun knowing that life is short and feeling as though I didn't make the most of it and its left me feeling almost upset about it.

I remember going round some pubs some years ago with my sister and a couple of friends and it got boring after a while. I also went to a club once where a family friend was performing there but I didn't like the flashing lights and stuff in there and spent the rest of the performance outside. I'm not epileptic I just don't like flashing lights.

I went to a pub with my brother and his friends, about 10 years ago or more. Just to experience it. But I was like an old lady; I stayed for a little while, had one alcoholic drink, got bored then came home at like 9.30pm. Not only did I feel abnormal but I also felt extremely holy and snobby, or something like that, because most normal 22-year-olds wouldn't be able to contain themselves when in a pub with other people their age on a Friday night, even if they didn't drink much they'd still think it's the most fun night ever.
It's like young adults think going to bars and partying is just as fun as what kids think play creches are. I thought play creches were fun when I was a kid but I never got that same thrill with drinking at bars as an adult.

I feel like I don't want to become someone who ends up getting to a point in life where I keep regretting things I've done or things I have not done in life. Someone even told me this once.

I know what you mean. Whenever I see people out with their friends, having fun, laughing, sharing good times, I just feel so jealous of them. I'd love to be doing that, with a nice group of loving, supportive friends who cared for me. I see these groups in real life, on TV, everywhere and just feel alone.

I think it's different for me though because I used to have a group of friends from childhood til I was in my late 20s. My parents were VERY sociable and we had so many parties and buffets. Everyone was sociable back then though, it was the 1970s/80s long before everyone sat alone at their computers/phones.

I had different groups of friends as the years went by, but I never had any problems making friends until I was in my late 30s. Friends just fell away then as the world got more uncaring, cold and competitive. So I miss it. I miss having fun times with friends. I kind of wish I'd never had any, then I wouldn't miss them. I dunno.