I am sick of older women being interested in me
My partner and I have a similar age gap, though we barely think about it unless someone else says something. We're very happy together, coming up on 4 years this summer. She's definitely not after my money, because I have none.
Lol, my boyfriend has no money either. And he has a low sex drive and he'd rather be romantic than just sexual, if that makes sense. So he's definitely not with me just for the sex, he's with me because he loves me. We've been together 9 years now, and have been living together over 5 years.
I have a feeling your relationship is the same, which proves that large age gap relationships can work.
Someone said to me its because older women have less options. What does that mean?
Well that's just one person's opinion out of many. It's not fact.
What that means, I guess, is that a women who is older and trying to date may not be as lucky as a man, because of life factors. Maybe she has kids, is divorced, has something. They are seeking companionship because they are getting older and need love and care? Maybe because they just like older guys? I feel that there is no solid answer for this question and since you asked on Reddit, I think you should take these sort of things with a grain of salt.
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Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.
I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this
This is your OP statement.
What do you mean by "they find me attractive" ?
Why do you need to change how they feel?
That doesn't necessarily mean they want to date you at all.
It doesn't mean they don't have "other options", either.
I'm not even sure what that ^ would mean.
They don't have other options for finding anyone else attractive?
Why not?
They could watch movies or TV and find others attractive.
They could find other people in the pub attractive.
Why would you be the only option and who said you were?
All they've said is that they consider you attractive.
Take it as a compliment and don't read so much into it.
Maybe you remind them of their son or nephew.
It doesn't mean anything sexual unless they say it does.
I find lots of people attractive (OK maybe not lots, but some).
That doesn't mean I want to date them.
Maybe I like their hair or their clothes or the way they speak.
It doesn't mean I want to shag them or that I'm desperate.
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Jamesy
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funeralxempire
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And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.
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Jamesy
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And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.
And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.
And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.
And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.
How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?
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Jamesy
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And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.
And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.
How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?
One women I attracted was 68 and another 77. The lady who was 77 died recently though aged 81 (it was back in 2015 when she liked me)
And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.
And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.
How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?
One women I attracted was 68 and another 77. The lady who was 77 died recently though aged 81 (it was back in 2015 that she liked me)
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Jamesy
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It’s what you probably need to do, though, if you want a relationship. Many people who have autism and use WP have done so, so it’s not impossible.
It should be easier than asking women to sit in your lap. You’ve taken the initiative with that.
You can’t really complain with validity unless you’ve actually tried.
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funeralxempire
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To be fair, people who are physically incapable of dancing don't constantly bemoan their inability to dance.
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I think to some degree you are attributing your own perspective to other people.
I’m not saying your perspective is super unique. I’m just saying there are some slightly different perspectives.
Even if you ask someone for their perspective they can’t necessarily tell you what it is just like you can’t tell them what yours is.
I think you are probably thrown into a world where people are acting towards you socially and it doesn’t make a lot of sense sometimes.
I will throw out some thoughts that may not apply.
Let’s say there are three types of situations:
1: Friendships that form from common problems among equals
2: The social construct of formal relationships where things are expected
3: The awe inspiration of whatever gender to which you are attracted
Sometimes I have focused more on the inspiration of the opposite sex but less on the friendship or cultural expectations. I am not saying that is necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps, if someone is not on the spectrum they are more in tune with the latter.
I am bringing it up to shed light on it. There can obviously be a combination of the three.
It is kinda like the saying that you wouldn’t kick someone out of your bed. Sometimes the opposite sex (or whatever) is like a work of art you don’t mind having around.
I always took someone thinking of me as a friend to mean I wasn’t a work of art. I find it kind of interesting that people not being equal breeds resentment. However, a work of art is not resented.
You may be looking for a work of art and then try to satisfy and live up to that work of art. But, you have no clue what to do other than knowing you would try and suffer some consequences.
Is that your perspective? I think other people are incorporating the friendship and societal aspect a little more. I am not being judgemental. Some people are just executing some societal programming in your direction or trying to be nice or mean in their own way.
I have a dozen more thoughts on the post so obviously this is not the full picture. It could not possibly be.
Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.
I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this
This happens to me too, it is really really really hard to find someone around my age, in the real world. Online, they will seem interested at first, and then after 2 months they "fade" away.
Some sound advice from Ben Franklin
http://mrbrinsonenglish.weebly.com/uplo ... stress.pdf
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Jamesy
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Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.
I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this
This happens to me too, it is really really really hard to find someone around my age, in the real world. Online, they will seem interested at first, and then after 2 months they "fade" away.
I struggle to make friends my own age as well
I suppose I'm lucky in that mostly people my own age find me attractive but if there's an age gap it'll lean more towards being older women rather than younger women.
I find it a bit unusual but other than that, pretty harmless. The problem with autism is that it appears most "regular" folk are not attracted to it so we're often left with having only the extremes interested in us and nothing much in-between. Religious crazies, mentally unstable, massive age gaps, unfortunate looks, this all seems to pop up much more frequently with people on the spectrum.
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