I am sick of older women being interested in me

Page 4 of 7 [ 102 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next

honeytoast
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Aug 2020
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,068
Location: 1Q84

23 May 2023, 11:58 am

Jamesy wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Age is just a number, if you're both consenting adults. I often get older guys liking me while guys my age wouldn't touch me with a barge pole. My boyfriend is in his 60s and I'm in my 30s. But it is a healthy relationship and I love him and he loves me, no exploiting involved at all (he's not just with me for sex and I'm not just with him for money).


My partner and I have a similar age gap, though we barely think about it unless someone else says something. We're very happy together, coming up on 4 years this summer. She's definitely not after my money, because I have none.


Lol, my boyfriend has no money either. And he has a low sex drive and he'd rather be romantic than just sexual, if that makes sense. So he's definitely not with me just for the sex, he's with me because he loves me. We've been together 9 years now, and have been living together over 5 years.
I have a feeling your relationship is the same, which proves that large age gap relationships can work. :)
:heart:




Someone said to me its because older women have less options. What does that mean?


Well that's just one person's opinion out of many. It's not fact.

What that means, I guess, is that a women who is older and trying to date may not be as lucky as a man, because of life factors. Maybe she has kids, is divorced, has something. They are seeking companionship because they are getting older and need love and care? Maybe because they just like older guys? I feel that there is no solid answer for this question and since you asked on Reddit, I think you should take these sort of things with a grain of salt.


_________________
dear god, dear god, tinkle tinkle hoy.

~~~~

believe in the broken clock and who's side will time be on?


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 68,656
Location: Chez Quis

23 May 2023, 12:05 pm

Jamesy wrote:
One of my acquaintances pointed out last night at the pub how much older women always seem to find me attractive.

Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.

I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this



This is your OP statement.

What do you mean by "they find me attractive" ?
Why do you need to change how they feel?

That doesn't necessarily mean they want to date you at all.
It doesn't mean they don't have "other options", either.

I'm not even sure what that ^ would mean.
They don't have other options for finding anyone else attractive?
Why not?
They could watch movies or TV and find others attractive.
They could find other people in the pub attractive.
Why would you be the only option and who said you were?

All they've said is that they consider you attractive.
Take it as a compliment and don't read so much into it.
Maybe you remind them of their son or nephew.
It doesn't mean anything sexual unless they say it does.

I find lots of people attractive (OK maybe not lots, but some).
That doesn't mean I want to date them.
Maybe I like their hair or their clothes or the way they speak.
It doesn't mean I want to shag them or that I'm desperate.


_________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

24 May 2023, 5:39 am

10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(



funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

24 May 2023, 6:47 am

Jamesy wrote:
10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(


And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

24 May 2023, 7:32 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(


And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.



And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,697
Location: Hell

24 May 2023, 7:34 am

Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(


And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.



And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.

How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

24 May 2023, 7:41 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(


And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.



And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.

How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?



One women I attracted was 68 and another 77. The lady who was 77 died recently though aged 81 (it was back in 2015 when she liked me)



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,697
Location: Hell

24 May 2023, 7:45 am

Jamesy wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
10 years ago when I was 23/24 I would attract mostly younger women like 20 or less. Now 10 years later its the opposite :(


And when you were in middle school you would have attracted middle schoolers. Everyone grows up.



And now I am in my early 30s I should be attracting 30 year old women not older ladies pushing 70.

How many women who were around 70 have you attracted?



One women I attracted was 68 and another 77. The lady who was 77 died recently though aged 81 (it was back in 2015 that she liked me)
That’s still only 2 women, and you’ve not tried to ask any around your age on dates, so I don’t think the problem is that you only attract older women. The problem is that you aren’t taking the initiative to meet and ask out women who are closer to your own age.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

24 May 2023, 7:48 am

Expecting me take the intiative/take charge socially is like asking someone with cerabal palsy to take up proffesional dancing.



TwilightPrincess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 21,697
Location: Hell

24 May 2023, 7:50 am

Jamesy wrote:
Expecting me take the intiative/take charge socially is like asking someone with cerabal palsy to take up proffesional dancing.

It’s what you probably need to do, though, if you want a relationship. Many people who have autism and use WP have done so, so it’s not impossible.

It should be easier than asking women to sit in your lap. :roll: You’ve taken the initiative with that.

You can’t really complain with validity unless you’ve actually tried.


_________________
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven. – Satan and TwilightPrincess


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,516
Location: Right over your left shoulder

24 May 2023, 8:02 am

Jamesy wrote:
Expecting me take the intiative/take charge socially is like asking someone with cerabal palsy to take up proffesional dancing.


To be fair, people who are physically incapable of dancing don't constantly bemoan their inability to dance.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


JimJohn
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 20 Dec 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 366

25 May 2023, 10:05 am

I think to some degree you are attributing your own perspective to other people.

I’m not saying your perspective is super unique. I’m just saying there are some slightly different perspectives.

Even if you ask someone for their perspective they can’t necessarily tell you what it is just like you can’t tell them what yours is.

I think you are probably thrown into a world where people are acting towards you socially and it doesn’t make a lot of sense sometimes.

I will throw out some thoughts that may not apply.

Let’s say there are three types of situations:

1: Friendships that form from common problems among equals

2: The social construct of formal relationships where things are expected

3: The awe inspiration of whatever gender to which you are attracted

Sometimes I have focused more on the inspiration of the opposite sex but less on the friendship or cultural expectations. I am not saying that is necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps, if someone is not on the spectrum they are more in tune with the latter.

I am bringing it up to shed light on it. There can obviously be a combination of the three.

It is kinda like the saying that you wouldn’t kick someone out of your bed. Sometimes the opposite sex (or whatever) is like a work of art you don’t mind having around.

I always took someone thinking of me as a friend to mean I wasn’t a work of art. I find it kind of interesting that people not being equal breeds resentment. However, a work of art is not resented.

You may be looking for a work of art and then try to satisfy and live up to that work of art. But, you have no clue what to do other than knowing you would try and suffer some consequences.

Is that your perspective? I think other people are incorporating the friendship and societal aspect a little more. I am not being judgemental. Some people are just executing some societal programming in your direction or trying to be nice or mean in their own way.

I have a dozen more thoughts on the post so obviously this is not the full picture. It could not possibly be.



Stalk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,129

08 Jun 2023, 3:01 am

Jamesy wrote:
One of my acquaintances pointed out last night at the pub how much older women always seem to find me attractive.

Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.

I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this


This happens to me too, it is really really really hard to find someone around my age, in the real world. Online, they will seem interested at first, and then after 2 months they "fade" away.



Honey69
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2023
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,232
Location: Llareggub

08 Jun 2023, 10:14 am

Some sound advice from Ben Franklin

http://mrbrinsonenglish.weebly.com/uplo ... stress.pdf


_________________
May you be blessed by YHWH and his Asherah


Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

08 Jun 2023, 5:09 pm

Stalk wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
One of my acquaintances pointed out last night at the pub how much older women always seem to find me attractive.

Anything I can do to change this? Women my own age are not interested and younger women like 20 will not even look at me.

I am not trolling by asking this question but I just need some advice in this


This happens to me too, it is really really really hard to find someone around my age, in the real world. Online, they will seem interested at first, and then after 2 months they "fade" away.




I struggle to make friends my own age as well



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,814
Location: wales

09 Jun 2023, 1:58 am

I suppose I'm lucky in that mostly people my own age find me attractive but if there's an age gap it'll lean more towards being older women rather than younger women.

I find it a bit unusual but other than that, pretty harmless. The problem with autism is that it appears most "regular" folk are not attracted to it so we're often left with having only the extremes interested in us and nothing much in-between. Religious crazies, mentally unstable, massive age gaps, unfortunate looks, this all seems to pop up much more frequently with people on the spectrum.