How to find tools and help once diagnosed

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You'll see a celebrity on TV talk about how her husband just found out that he is autistic, and how that is great because, among other things, they can now access tools and resources and strategies that can help him.

My question is: what tools and resources and strategies are there, and how do you find them?

For instance, I tried to find a social skills group but there doesn't seem to be one in large US city where I live. I'm also not sure if it would help, if the skills being taught are only very fundamental ones that I already know.

This is in reference to people diagnosed (including self-diagnosed) late in life and who are managing okay, at least on the surface, so what particular help they need might not be obvious or clear.

Aspergers is often less difficult for those who are older. The main reason is that over time and through experimentation one finds what works better for them. As a result one develops improved skills. It would be nice if someone compiled a detailed list of all the things that worked, but until then you can ask here for what has worked for others.

you are on the right track to seek individual help for specific problems.

There are online videos, online groups, in person groups, therapists, specialists of all sorts to help us find relief from the things that trouble us.
Many recently diagnosed individuals seek "autism therapy" and there simply is no such thing, one blanket does not fit us all or the many ways in which we might struggle.

Looking instead for help for our individual problems can find specialists whose whole focus is on finding ways to deal with that specific issue.

If we have physical struggles, say with motor coordination, or emotional regulation problems, or problems with visual or auditory/ speech language struggles, for example, we will need very different things to help us .


I found my social struggles were directly due to my inability to process visual or spoken things happening around me in "real time". There is no therapy to speed up my processing or change my perceptions, but I have found that I am able to communicate and understand through use of the written word.

Sometimes we need to understand our neurology and adapt to our limitations rather than expecting ourselves to be able to perform as expected in all situations in life. Knowing your own neurology can help you make adjustments in your life. (personal accommodations)

There are interesting resources to be found on the Internet.

I was diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) (with a note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome) in 2019, when I was 64. My Autism is mild enough that I'd already been happily retired for 8 years and had never even wondered if I might be Autistic before that year. I got the diagnosis because I was curious and was trying to get a better understanding of my life-experience, not seeking any practical benefit.

...but, of course, once I knew I was Autistic I tried to find things I could use on the Internet.

So far, the most promising thing I've found is AASPIRE and their HEALTHCARE TOOLKIT: Patient Centered Care Tools for Autistic Adults. Now, when I go to a healthcare provider I print off a copy of their "How Autism Can Affect Healthcare" document to give to the doctor. I also print-off a one page summary of some areas in that document that especially apply to me.

There are, I'm sure, many other good resources on the Internet, for instance, possibly this.

Post-diagnosis, I have a therapist who works with ASD folks and has been amazing for that specific perspective and ideas. Asides EMDR to help with the cumulative trauma of being ASD in an ableist culture, we review lots of situations together for how I might handle them more powerfully. I now set others' expectations, I wear sunglasses and ear plugs, I have been directed to pediatric groups for OT (ASD), but haven't yet followed that lead (adult services not yet available, but pediatrics would work with me), books like "What to Say Next" have been mostly review but helpful also, in-person and online ASD support groups wonderful. I recently joined a Facebook private group for 2e (twice exceptional) folks and am getting good tips (e.g. reminder to focus on next step rather than the overwhelming whole). Most importantly, I am much more aware of when I am in distress and am learning to identify that, ask for help and eventually take steps myself (assert myself). I contacted DVR (dept vocational rehabilitation) for employment assistance and would not have done that previously. They weren't prepared for a 2e person, but persevered and found a resource that contributed to my success.

Yes that's probably true of me - by the time I found out, I'd already found coping strategies for a lot of the problems it had given me. It's been useful, particularly at first, to read what WP members have observed and thought, and to ponder back through my experiences in the light of the diagnosis, with no specific goal apart from to understand myself better. You can't have too much self-knowledge. There are books of course, but I haven't bothered to read many of them. It's also important to bear in mind that an Aspie is also an individual for whom no standard set of techniques is completely appropriate, and that solving life's problems is about more than just looking at them as ASD challenges. And I don't think it's possible to ever get personal happiness to come to order under the individual's complete control. A lot of my happiness and sorrow seems to be more the result of good and bad luck. But I suppose I'll always try to make things better.

Is there any autistic adult support group in your area, either professional-led or autistic peer-led? If so, perhaps they might be able to help you find local resources pertaining to your specific needs.

I would suggest looking for support groups on Meetup.com, if you have not done so already.

Also, google "Autism Society" followed by the name of your local large city, or the name your state if there isn't one for your city. The Autism Society is primarily an organization for parents of autistic children, but many chapters have groups for autistic adults too.

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions. I will look into them.

My understanding is there isn't really much out there for adults, unless you need accommodating or to go on disability. I'm getting diagnosed mainly because I need work accommodations.