I just need somewhere to vent my thoughts. I’ve finally taken the first step on my way to official diagnosis, at the age of 34. My doctor sent a request to the specialist healthcareprovider today and I just feel like i’m in a huge limbo. Hoping for a diagnosis, but not even knowing if they’ll take me in for an assesment.
It might be months before i know if they’ll take me in, and yet i feel like my whole future is depending on this.
Don’t know if i’m in autistic burnout, probably been burning out for years, but i just know i really need the right help asap. I can’t stand staying in my regular work situation for much longer. Been in maternity leave for 9 months now and soon going back to work. I have no idea how i’m going to be able to cope with everything.
I suddenly find myself in a situation even more unsecure of myself than before as i dawns on me - i do think differently. I always thought this is how everyone has to go through life, tackling every social situation by scanning every word said and weighing your own reactions all the time. How does NTs think? I really dont understand, and it’s strikes me i’m actually not weak or lazy, i’m just different. My piece of the puzzle doesn’t quite fit the rest of the picture.
Still i have to go to work, mask and spend all my energi trying to understand. Meanwhile i can’t find the energy to take a shower for 7 days 