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Joe90
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30 May 2023, 6:37 am

Yesterday I sent a formal email to our landlord complaining about the constant noise from the upstairs neighbours. But today my boyfriend was talking to the man who lived next door to us, and he said that he had got an email from the landlords telling him off about making too much noise. My boyfriend was confused, and I discovered that I had put the wrong door number in the email of complaint. :oops: I quickly emailed the landlords back telling them that I'd made a mistake and got the door numbers mixed up, and I asked them to send an apology to the nice guy, but they haven't replied. I'm assuming they got the email. But I feel so bad for the poor man next door, as he's the nicest and most considerate neighbour in our block.

What if the landlords don't see the second email? Or what if the nice guy doesn't check his emails for the correction and then feels upset for the rest of the day (he was going out to work so I don't know when he'll be back). Oh why didn't I check the door numbers first? I'm so stupid. :wall:


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30 May 2023, 8:09 am

I'm very sorry to hear that you're upset about what happened. I remember reading that you've been having complaints for awhile. I think we all make mistakes like that, and of course feel like the worst people in the world.

If you just sent that email today, I'm sure the landlords will see it soon (hopefully today) and see your correction. If they were that quick to respond to the compliant, they surely are around to see their emails. I'd imagine they didn't get very many emails either, so I don't think it would be lost.

If they don't apologize for the mistake, then maybe you can apologize to the man? I get that can be hard to do, and sound very anxiety inducing. It would be hard for me too. I'm not someone who can be that able to admit a mistake and hope for a good response, I'm someone who always expects the bad outcome. I'm sure that if he's as nice as you say, he can realize it's a mistake and something to laugh about later. Or maybe write a letter?


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Joe90
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30 May 2023, 9:24 am

Thanks for replying.

Sometimes the nicest of people like the nice guy next door can also be the most sensitive people, so I worry that he might feel mad at being falsely accused of something. I understand that feeling, because I hate being accused of things I haven't done. But hopefully if the landlord sent him the apology email then he'll forgive. My boyfriend talks to him more than I do, as they often pass each other early in the morning when they're going to work (they work at different places of course but their shifts must be similar times), so I asked him to also acknowledge to him that it was me who'd made a mistake and that he's done nothing wrong.

I just hate causing an inconvenience to people's lives. What if he's sensitive and read the first email and thought "right, I ain't living here no more!" and packed his bags and moved out to a relative's place or something? Yes, I know I'm probably being silly now, but I just feel bad.


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envirozentinel
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30 May 2023, 11:22 am

I'm sure it'll turn out OK and you'll feel better when this is cleared up. I think the above posters have given the right advice - no harm done once he realizes it wasn't for him.


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Jakki
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30 May 2023, 11:36 am

Bad neighbours can be a incredible nuisance at times . Been through the ringer with several generations of them, in two different states , but both of my experiences have been based on Male stalkers primarily .But they really can come in both genders. People seem to get upset when they expect to be able to take advantage of you , :(
And you make it difficult for them :wink: .


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Joe90
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30 May 2023, 12:46 pm

My boyfriend saw him earlier and had explained the mistake, and said he seemed cool with it.

*Ticks one worry off the list*


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Misslizard
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30 May 2023, 3:57 pm

Give him a small gift, basket of fruit etc


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rse92
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30 May 2023, 4:45 pm

Misslizard wrote:
Give him a small gift, basket of fruit etc


I agree with this post.



Joe90
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30 May 2023, 5:22 pm

Misslizard wrote:
Give him a small gift, basket of fruit etc


Er...yeah, great idea...but we done it the modern British way by approaching him and apologising and explaining the mistake, and he was cool with it so matter is closed.


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Jakki
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31 May 2023, 8:39 am

Understood about the British way idea, but sometimes, it doesn't always hurt to reinforce good relationships? :nerdy:
Just a thought ? But I do not live there so , my thoughts on this are only my own :mrgreen:
Any concepts ? of improving Aspies social skills might benefit to all parties involved,regardless of certain situations ,Maybe ? :D


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envirozentinel
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31 May 2023, 8:54 am

I'm glad it's sorted and it may even cement your friendship with this neighbour, and he as well as you and your BF can look back and laugh about it.


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rse92
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31 May 2023, 10:20 am

Joe90 wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
Give him a small gift, basket of fruit etc


Er...yeah, great idea...but we done it the modern British way by approaching him and apologising and explaining the mistake, and he was cool with it so matter is closed.


Your boyfriend did.



Mikah
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31 May 2023, 11:42 am

Joe90 wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
Give him a small gift, basket of fruit etc


Er...yeah, great idea...but we done it the modern British way by approaching him and apologising and explaining the mistake, and he was cool with it so matter is closed.


Yeah you leave gift apologies for real emergencies, like running over a neighbour's dog... or their child.


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KitLily
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31 May 2023, 11:52 am

I'm glad you sorted it out. Our partners are so helpful when dealing with humans aren't they. My husband has sorted out so many social, human problems when I don't know what to say or do.

I agree with the other Brits that you shouldn't send a gift. Maybe just be extra nice to him when you see him i.e. just smile warmly. That's as far as we go in being nice in Britain isn't it!

Well done!


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Misslizard
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31 May 2023, 12:16 pm

I guess it’s different here.We send food, because food is love.
Southern culture.


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31 May 2023, 1:08 pm

I'd be delighted if my neighbour brought me a food parcel. In fact one of my neighbours did do once.

Anyway a similar thing happened to my next door neighbour. He got a letter off the housing telling him to stop smoking weed under other people's windows. I laughed so hard because he's the least likely person to smoke weed. I don't know who it was who complained though.

It's easy to make mistakes and at least you've put it right now.


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