Autistic adult social group

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There is a group in my city for autistic adults to meet up and do fun things. They meet up about once a week, sometimes on weekends and sometimes on weekdays, and do a variety of things (such as laser tag, going to a bar, watching a movie, crafting, etc.)

I've gone to a couple meet ups last year and I liked them, but not enough to keep going. Most of the activities they do aren't things that I'm very interested in. I wish they would do more art meet ups.

However I'm very lonely and I know that these meet ups are probably my best bet for making connections with people. I should really try to be less picky and go more regularly- it's actually very lucky that this is available to me at all.

Would you participate in these if you had one in your city?

I've not only participated in autistic groups in my city; I've organized a small cluster of small groups myself.

I agree that groups focused on a specific hobby/interest (such as art in your case) are probably a better place to find good potential friends than a generic social group. However, generic social groups are a good and necessary first generation of autistic-led groups in any given locale.

For now, I would suggest that you continue to attend the generic social group and be on the lookout for people who share your enthusiasm for art. Then, once you manage to find a nucleus of at least three such people who are willing to stay in contact with you, begin organizing your own group of autistic adults who are into art.

That's a good idea. I'm not very good at organizing things but it would probably be worth it

If I were to do this, would it be weird to host these meetups in my home? Or should I find a community centre type place? The group I've been to hosts their craft meetups at a community centre, and everyone brings a few dollars to cover the cost

"Weird" or not, it would be unsafe. Do NOT invite total strangers into your home! While most people in the autistic adult community are fine upstanding people, there are also, alas, some major-league creeps out there.


I would suggest:

1) While the group is still too small to afford to rent a meeting room, just hold meetings in a diner or restaurant and/or organize outings to art museums/shows/etc.

2) When you have enough regulars to afford to rent a meeting room (at a community center, or a local church, or wherever), start renting meeting rooms at that point.

3) Hold online chat meetings in addition to your in-person meetings.

If there was a group for.autistic people near me I would probably want to try going to it.

Especially if they did art classes. That would be fun.

I only know one person in the area I live in so it would be nice to make in person friends.

Suggestion: To make it easier for you to meet any potential friends here on Wrong Planet who might happen to live near you:

Edit your profile to include:

1) Your general location. Don't be specific enough to endanger your privacy, but do mention at least what country you live in, and, if it's a large country, mention your state/province/region or your nearest major metro area.

2) A signature line that briefly mentions your interests/hobbies, including your potential interest in going to art classes.

I wrote earlier, in my reply to GreenVelvetWorm:

Important: If you decide to hold preliminary meetings in a diner or restaurant, be sure to look for a place that both (1) is inexpensive and (2) serves a variety of different kinds of food. Remember, most autistic adults don't have a lot of money, yet many of us are picky eaters due to sensory issues.

Also, wherever you choose to meet, make sure it has accessible bathrooms.

An autistic adults meetup group sounds fantastic! I would go there like a shot if there was one near me.

However, it would depend on how autistic the people were- if they were too low functioning I would end up being the carer, I don't want to do that. I'd prefer autistic people near my level of functioning which is pretty high.

Sorry that sounds like I'm excluding people but my brain is dying from lack of conversation, socialising, intellectual stimulation. I need people on my own level after decades of being isolated.

The group near me is open to all autistic people regardless of their level of support needs, but if you require a caretaker when you're out and about you have to bring them with you (otherwise too much responsibility would be on the group organizer). When I went there was a pretty good mix of people

I would imagine that it would be hard to organize a group with strict rules about what forms are autism are allowed, since it can be pretty subjective sometimes

As I've spent many years working with disabled young people and supervising children, I'm pretty much over all that now and don't want to go into that sort of environment again. I need some functioning adult friends now who can challenge me intellectually and wake up my brain.

I think in this case it would be better for me to go to a group with a specific interest e.g. 'history' or 'movies'. A man on another autism site said that's how he's found friends- by focusing on a 'nerdy' interest and finding people who are also very interested in that subject. They often turn out to be autistic too or at least nerdy enough not to care if people are socially awkward.

I'm generally better at hobbies than just random socialising I suppose.

^^^This is why it helps to be near large settlements. I'm drawn to rural areas to live and then I'm surprised that there's nothing going on around me.

No, you wouldn't be expected to be the carer. That's not your job. If you're not one of the leaders of the group, you wouldn't be in way responsible for any of the other members. On the other hand, if you were one of the leaders, you could have a requirement that anyone who needs a carer must have a carer with them.


I crave intellectual companionship too.

But intellectual ability has no simple inverse relationship to "how autistic" someone is. There are plenty of autistic people who have strong intellectual abilities yet are severely disabled in other ways.

I really wish I'd researched the village I moved to BEFORE we moved, but of course the internet didn't exist then, I'd have been limited to books or newspapers I suppose? Dunno.

I wouldn't have moved here if I'd known what a backwater it was. 'Small friendly village community' my ar5e.

The best of both worlds would be a group of autistic people who share some nerdy hobby, such as the Amateur meteorology club (one of the chat groups led by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group). I hope more such groups will form, devoted to a variety of specific hobbies/interests.

EDIT: I see general autistic adult social groups, along with general autistic adult support groups, as a necessary first phase of the autistic community in any given locale. But then, in order to grow, the autistic community needs to diversify and have a wide variety of more-specialized groups as well.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 13 Jun 2023, 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Officially, yes...but I know what happens. I would see someone struggling and want to step in to help or support. I could hardly ignore them, could I? Then before I know it I'd be 'the mum' of the group looking after everyone. Been there, done that for so many years, I'm tired.



I guess so. As long as people can communicate clearly, that'll be fine by me. I want discussions. I feel like I've been 'the supporter' for so long that I'm running out of patience, and time.

Yes that would be great! Hopefully when I move house I can find some like that!