Hate it when I see that someone has ''unfriended'' me

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chris1989
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06 Jul 2023, 6:33 pm

When I last checked social media I had 36 ''friends'' then 35 and then 34. I found out that someone I knew I used to work with had unfriended me and has left me with this sinking feeling. I feel like he like other people have done it because I had spoken to other people he knew about some issues I have and that he was fed up with it. It makes me feel and look like a bad person.



DanielW
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06 Jul 2023, 7:06 pm

People un-friend or stop following people or content they either don't like or are tired of seeing. Since its impossible to please everyone, the only thing you can really do is stop focusing on your number of followers or change your content or both.

If your content is repetitive, people may just be getting tired of seeing the same old thing day in and day out, so you might try switching things around once in a while?



Last edited by DanielW on 06 Jul 2023, 7:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Joe90
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06 Jul 2023, 7:08 pm

I get upset when people unfriend me on Facebook too. Usually people who leave work unfriend me but don't unfriend anyone else at work even though I know they aren't close friends or anything. I get a mixture of hurt and confusion.

Also I've lost count how many people I have sent friend requests to only to be rejected straight away. And yes, these are people I know, have spoken to, and have a lot of mutual friends with. When I look at other people's Facebook friends I notice they have like 1000 friends, surely a lot of them are people they know, have spoken to and have a lot of mutual friends with too.

Maybe the rules apply differently to anyone with my name. Or maybe it's something in my profile picture that turns people away (even though it's just a nice photo of me with my boyfriend). My cover photo just has my pets. Nothing out of the ordinary. Very NT-friendly.

I'm mystified. Maybe we'll add it to the 8 wonders of the world list.


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jimmyjazzuk
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06 Jul 2023, 7:32 pm

chris1989 wrote:
When I last checked social media I had 36 ''friends'' then 35 and then 34. I found out that someone I knew I used to work with had unfriended me and has left me with this sinking feeling. I feel like he like other people have done it because I had spoken to other people he knew about some issues I have and that he was fed up with it. It makes me feel and look like a bad person.


Do you still see or talk to each other? He might have had a 'facebook cull' and it was nothing personal.



jimmyjazzuk
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06 Jul 2023, 7:33 pm

Im sorry you're feeling bad. Facebook makes me feel bad al the time, like a failure.



Minuteman
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06 Jul 2023, 7:51 pm

Hey, their loss.



TenMinutes
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06 Jul 2023, 11:00 pm

I unfriend people who don't interact with me in any way. It takes a long time to come to that. Like, a year.



shortfatbalduglyman
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07 Jul 2023, 10:23 pm

You can guarantee that nobody ever unfriends you again, simply by never adding any more "friends" again

Not that hard

That's what I did

Plenty of lil dipshits have had the nerve to "unfriend" me. When they added me it made me a lil happy for a short time. When they unfriended me it made me pretty unhappy for a long time


:mrgreen: With "friends" like that, who needs enemies? :skull:



PhosphorusDecree
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07 Jul 2023, 11:00 pm

I've not actually looked at my number of friends in years, so if anyone's left, I didn't notice.....


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07 Jul 2023, 11:16 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
Im sorry you're feeling bad. Facebook makes me feel bad al the time, like a failure.


Hugs. :cry:

I"m sure you aren't.

I unfriended about ten people once because they weren't people I'd invite into my home. If they can't come in my home I didn't want them knowing my business, even though I liked them well enough. Now I only have my kids and my SIL on Facebook, and I only use Messenger. I don't use any other SM since it seems so petty.



Tim_Tex
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11 Jul 2023, 8:10 am

Usually, any time I'm unfriended, it's out of nowhere.

Oftentimes people friend me, but never want to interact. I think most people add me as a friend just to watch their number of friends go up, and I am only needed to stroke the egos of others.

I come across very few people who have the same interests, and I worry about being unfriended by them, because I never know when or if I will ever come across another person with those interests.


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SkinnyElephant
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16 Jul 2023, 3:06 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I get upset when people unfriend me on Facebook too. Usually people who leave work unfriend me but don't unfriend anyone else at work even though I know they aren't close friends or anything. I get a mixture of hurt and confusion.

Also I've lost count how many people I have sent friend requests to only to be rejected straight away. And yes, these are people I know, have spoken to, and have a lot of mutual friends with. When I look at other people's Facebook friends I notice they have like 1000 friends, surely a lot of them are people they know, have spoken to and have a lot of mutual friends with too.

Maybe the rules apply differently to anyone with my name. Or maybe it's something in my profile picture that turns people away (even though it's just a nice photo of me with my boyfriend). My cover photo just has my pets. Nothing out of the ordinary. Very NT-friendly.

I'm mystified. Maybe we'll add it to the 8 wonders of the world list.


I can relate (my story is slightly different, although similar).

I've never been facebook friends with any coworkers. That being said, I joined facebook during high school, and had lots of classmates on my facebook friend list. During my college years, some high school classmates would remove me from their friend list (but keep a lot of other former high school classmates). So it's not that they were simply "cleaning house" once high school ended; it was something personal about me.

During college, I had college classmates remove me (and one college classmate even blocked me) for no apparent reason.

I've said it before and will say it again: I seriously don't understand the deep hatred the outside world feels toward us. Those of us on the spectrum don't tend to be jerks; just different.



ToughDiamond
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27 Aug 2023, 6:12 am

Last time I unfriended somebody, Facebook reassured me that they wouldn't know. But maybe they've changed things. Meanwhile I've been using a browser plugin called Social Fixer that keeps track of unfriendings and re-friendings and lets you see them if you want to. I heard that it can't tell the difference between being actively unfriended and the friend being offline for too long.

I suppose most people would feel at least a tad hurt at being unfriended, especially if there's no obvious explanation. I don't mind so much if I can understand why. One chap blocked me after I'd argued against something he'd said. He was notorious for being offensive and I was glad to be shut of him. A couple more people have unfriended me without any obvious reason, and that bothered me. It's possible they were just doing a cleanup and removing friends they hadn't much interacted with, but I don't know, and I still wonder whether there was some other reason that wasn't so innocent.



mistysprinkles
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28 Aug 2023, 8:30 pm

I may be overconcious but I feel like anytime I see my follow county go down by 1 it's because they were only being nice to me as a formality :(



funeralxempire
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28 Aug 2023, 11:25 pm

mistysprinkles wrote:
I may be overconcious but I feel like anytime I see my follow county go down by 1 it's because they were only being nice to me as a formality :(


I like your username. :nerdy:


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blitzkrieg
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02 Sep 2023, 5:41 pm

I used to dislike it too. And it happened slowly over time.

Certain people seem destined to drift out of one's life, and if you are autistic, like people have said, there seems to be an undercurrent of hatred towards autistic folk.