In this PPR thread, someone quoted the following definition of "grooming":
Quote:
the process by which adults make children or young people vulnerable to sexual assault through compliments, isolating tactics, and other actions that shift the child’s circle of trust and increase the adult’s power over them
and responded by saying that there is also such a thing as grooming of adults, and then provided a link to the
Metropolitan Police website (U.K.), which says:
Quote:
Grooming
Grooming is when a person builds a relationship with a child, young person or an adult who's at risk so they can abuse them and manipulate them into doing things.
The abuse is usually sexual or financial, but it can also include other illegal acts.
Types of grooming
Grooming can take place online or in person and it can happen over a short or long period of time - from days to years.
[...]
Signs of grooming
It can be difficult to tell if someone is being groomed – the signs aren't always obvious and may be hidden.
Some signs to look out for:
- Are they being secretive about how they're spending their time?
- Do they have an older boyfriend or girlfriend?
- Do they have money or new things like clothes and mobile phones that they can't or won't explain?
- Are they drinking or taking drugs?
- Are they spending more or less time than usual online or on their devices?
- Do they seem upset or withdrawn?
- Are they using sexual language you wouldn’t expect them to know?
- Are they spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time?
A person won't know they're being groomed, they will trust their abuser who is giving them lots of attention and gifts. Also, their groomer may have warned them not to talk to anyone about it.
I'm replying here to avoid derailing the original thread.
Hmmm. It seems to me that none of the listed "signs of grooming" are
necessarily signs that the relationship is abusive, exploitative, or manipulative.
I would be interested in others' thoughts on what it means for adults to be "groomed." Would it be correct to say that the essence of adult "grooming" is a dishonestly manipulative and exploitative approach to forming relationships?
Certainly there are abusive adult relationships, which, fortunately, I've managed to avoid for the most part.
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13 Jul 2023, 4:05 pm
