"autism isn't just being quirky"

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I see this a lot on the internet, mostly from people who like to tell others "you aren't autistic". Ah, fake claiming. Gotta hate it. But let's talk about it. Can autism manifest as "just being really quirky"?

Personally for me, I thought ALL of my "quirky" traits were just.... me being quirky. Turns out that was not the case. Turns out I have clinically significant symptoms and just didn't realize it cuz I've always been this way, it must be normal.

By the age I am now, most of the stuff that would point to me "having a problem", I've learned to mask over. And when I was a kid? Well, my parents blamed it on "trauma because of the divorce".
To most people, I appear to just be a slightly strange person who doesn't make eye contact and fiddles with random objects.

I have had public meltdowns, get near constant sensory issues at work, need things done in a certain order or I get pissy, etc. But these traits are almost always under the radar. My meltdowns are all internal or become shutdowns, I can hide distress up to a certain point, and I may appear a little annoyed at times but it's easily hidden.

To most people, I definitely appear to "just be quirky".

"quirky" to whom?

The observations of others may not be accurate or complete. Consider how helpful it would be to tell someone, "You don't look like you have cancer".

I'd ask them what autism looks like. ^

Most people who fake claim think they're advocating for disabled or severely/chronically ill people when they are just harassing disabled and/or ill people in most cases.
Like, I guess it's easier to point a finger and say "hey, that guy must be a faker!" than actually do the work to advocate for people in actually helpful ways.

That, or it's someone who has a different manifestation of a condition, possibly a more severe one, who feels that people are co-opting their struggles "just to be special".

I think people explained away my quirks when I was a child and young adult as 'she's just young and silly'.

But as I got older, late 20s onwards, I was supposed to have 'grown out of those silly quirks' and got patronised/mocked for still being so childish.

I presume I'm not being childish, I'm just being autistic. Mainly having to eat a limited number of foods or I get very ill, having to live in a quiet, temperate environment or I get stressed by too much noise/ high temperatures etc. Not understanding social situations (now that is a huge crime for a middle aged woman, I'm supposed to be a social expert by now) and needing clear explanations etc.

I wish it was just being quirky, and didn't come with the depression I suffer with at times, and the lack of social skills that makes me unattractive to others and treated like I don't have much value to society.

Some days I feel like it's just a quirk for me, but then I have days like today where I have meltdowns and am in a constant state of rage from sensory issues

I'm older. That affects things. I couldn't be Autistic when I was young because Asperger's Syndrome wasn't added to the DSM 'til the year I turned 40.

...and I was not diagnosed until 2019, the year I turned 65.

I don't think of it that I was good at masking, because I didn't know I had anything to hide. I think I was coping.

I know folk thought I was somewhat different. I prefer the term "quirky" but they might've chosen other terms. I spoke with my Dad after I was diagnosed and his description of me when I was young was that I did "weird" things...I did not get adventurous enough to ask what words he would use to describe me as an adult.

I have been told all my life that I'm 'weird' 'odd' 'funny' 'strange' and lots of similar words. People would just say it in the middle of a conversation with me. 'You're weird.' 'You are a funny girl.' 'You're a bit strange aren't you.'

To this day I have never known why. I would never dream of saying something so rude to someone!

I have a form of language and communication issue directly coming from autism; that cannot be simply passed off as being quirky.

It goes beyond the known autistic social and behavioral bits -- it goes deeper than just social and personality "flaws".

It was just well masked by not speaking much with my native language and certain knowledge of varying topics.
Or certain habits -- habits, acquired behaviors, constructed emulation interface that feels unnatural; not really skills.

It just so happens that my own version of masking -- pretending and passing -- is not social, but verbal.

Language, not social interaction. It may be why it hurts my head for me think in words and having to "translate" it sometimes.

Academics can't detect it, small talks won't or even debates -- but IQ tests can.

The passing as verbal part may be the reason why I got diagnosed with Aspergers, and not straight up autism without intellectual disability merely because my apparent lack of speech delay (which I found was the most common developmental concern of all parents) disqualifies me from that.


Other than that?
I don't look, act or even sound like my age. At all.

Most NT 28 year olds either already have an advanced professional career, at least a certain amount of household responsibility, or married and have children or at least planning to.

I don't have that 'look'. Unless I'm very tired.
Or very regulated and hormonally balanced.

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People may have some quirks, but I no longer believe quirky, eccentric, weird, or strange people exist.

Anyone that you'd describe with those terms actually has a mental disorder of some kind.