Psychology Today
Katie Rose Guest Pryal, J.D., Ph.D., is a bipolar-autistic author, keynote speaker, law professor, and expert in mental health and neurodiversity.
Quote:
When I was 42, I sought an autism diagnosis.
Like many adults who seek diagnoses, I was inspired to do so because I am a parent and my children were diagnosed with autism.
After my children were diagnosed, I looked at my kids, and then I looked in the mirror and realized that I had given birth to miniature versions of myself. I immediately made an appointment with our local autism center for testing.
I also suffered a lot as a child and young adult because I was deeply misunderstood: by my parents, teachers, and peers at school.
My parents didn’t have the advantage that I have as an autistic parent of autistic kids—my apples fell close to my tree. Theirs did not.
Instead, my parents were handed what must have seemed, to them, like a mysterious little creature who frequently baffled them. Like many neurotypical parents of autistic children, they did what they thought was best.
But I believe they did the best they could. My parents didn’t just wing it—they sought help from doctors. Unfortunately, the doctors weren’t much help. Back then, in the early 1980s, getting a girl diagnosed with autism was about as easy as walking to the moon. And it remains difficult today.
Look back at your young selves and celebrate them
Let us celebrate our childhood differences rather than scorn them.
For example, our young, autistic selves likely had intense interests in things. Let us celebrate these “hyper-fixations” (as autistic author Pete Wharmby calls them). They were wonderful, not a problem, even if adults around us told us that they were.
And today, if you still love those things, bring them back into your life if you can.
Celebrating our childhood differences can be hard to do because sometimes these differences caused us pain. We might remember that our awkwardness caused teasing and difficulty making friends.
The world made us feel as though we were made wrong. But we weren't.
That awkward child you once were deserves your love today. She didn’t make mistake after mistake for no reason. She had undiagnosed autism, and she likely had little help learning how to navigate complex social situations.
Furthermore, sometimes what seemed like mistakes in the past weren’t mistakes at all. Sometimes we were punished simply for being different.
Find a memory of yourself as a child during a moment of intense joy. Now, go join yourself in that celebration. You both deserve it.
Seek help for the harm you suffered as a child and adult.
Autistic kids, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed, frequently suffer traumatic events such as bullying and assault and their aftermath such as PTSD. If we were undiagnosed as kids, then it is even more likely that we suffered trauma—all the way through adulthood.
Today we might try to forget these traumatic events. We might try to reason that they weren’t that bad. That’s what I did for years. But carrying around the burden of these traumatic events harms us.
Now, in my mid-40s, I’ve started working through this trauma with a therapist. It has been life-changing.
Because of my autism diagnosis, I’ve learned that what I suffered wasn’t my fault. I was targeted because I was autistic. And, when I should have been taught how to protect myself, I was not.
But we can protect ourselves now, starting by addressing the lingering pain inside ourselves that stands in the way of mental peace and happiness.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
23 Jul 2023, 11:32 am
hindered by the autority complex (psychologial- as well as institutional complex)
