Binary/Non-trans people stating their pronouns

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For the most part I am a full blown liberal/progressive person, however there are a few certain aspects of certain topics that I have had a harder time understanding. One of which is related to the use of pronouns. Now, this isn’t even about the trans community or people who perfer they/them pronouns(meaning, people who are non-binary). I have no problem using people’s preferred pronouns. However, I have noticed that people who are not in those categories stating their pronouns. Honestly, whenever I come across that I can’t help but think “this is unnecessary. I can tell what your pronouns are just by looking at you”.

The usual thing I’ve heard is that they do that to be “inclusive”. I kind of see what they’re saying, but I think it’s ok to live in a world where people have to advocate for themselves regarding their pronouns. If someone tells me they want to be referred to as a certain pronoun, I will respect that. But for the rest of us, I’m just not feeling on board with that part of it.

One last note, even my mom tells people her pronouns at her work. That’s wild to me that much older people have gotten on board with it.

I hope to get some good responses on this. I’d love to discuss this with other people as long as they’re not making me out to be a total scumbag.

Totally understand your confusion. You're right in saying that people who use different pronouns are capable of advocating for themselves. The problem is that they have to do it all the time, which can be exhausting, and there are still a lot of people who simply just don't understand what it's about and might need it explained to them. Non-binary people and people who use different pronouns from what they were assigned at birth are capable of doing it themselves, it just makes it easier for them and helps share some of that burden if others do it to, to help make it more widely understood, so that when someone who uses different pronouns has to tell someone they're meeting for the first time, it will be more likely to be something that person is already familiar with and won't react to like it's weird or unusual. And it's nice to not leave all the work to just the people who it directly effects. It's not necessary at all, just helpful to demonstrate some solidarity and share some of the effort to help ease the change in society.

Some companies have gotten on board with this, like Virgin Airlines.

I’m pretty indifferent. It wouldn’t bother me one bit if my name tag or email signature included pronouns. If it doesn’t bother me and it Does make someone who has to advocate for proper use of their pronouns feel more comfortable doing so, then whatever, it’s a very small thing for me to do that has no negative impact on me.

Also, just want to add that you can’t always tell what someone’s preferred pronouns are “just by looking at them.” If we all could, it would never be necessary for anyone to have to clarify that they are They or some other pronoun you wouldn’t assume. That’s the whole point of this entire public conversation.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

My pronouns are “He”, “Him”, and “His Imperial Majesty”.

You may call me “Sir”.

I'm non-binary. Most people assume I'm a woman because I have boobs. Otherwise, apparently I look as though I could go either way.
So, most people use she/her for me. I'm fine with that. It would be extremely tiring to tell everyone I actually prefer they/them, just more trouble than it's worth imo.

Anyways. On everyone using pronouns, like yeah..... I mean, I get the intention. Trying to be a good ally and inclusive and normalize stuff and all that. But I don't know that I can get on board with it myself.
Like.... if there's one person in a group that's like "hey, I prefer this", that's one thing. But most people operate on pronouns based off appearances. It's actually difficult enough to remember one person has different pronouns, let alone having to keep track of the entire group's pronouns.

Idk.

Or everyone just wears pronoun pins.

I wonder why they go with the plural pronoun, "they, them, their", rather than the gender-neutral singular pronoun, "it, it,it's"

My pronoun is "geezer."

I'm with the OP. I will call a person by whatever pronoun they like. However, I will not go about asking every one of the thousands of people I meet in my life what their pronouns are before having a casual interaction with them. I will go by their appearance as that is largely a reliable way to tell and if they correct me, I will gladly apologize and switch to their preferred pronoun.

I've never heard personally heard anyone in real life say they expect this, just online. Once, there was an artist on a Facebook group who was complaining that inexpensive artists were ruining their ability to charge what they felt they deserved for art commissions -- they were already angry and lashing out at anyone who disagreed with them. And then, someone used a pronoun from that person's profile and they were like, "I haven't updated my profile yet! NEVER ASSUME PRONOUNS!" and started attacking the commenter for that. I don't think this is representative of trans people in general, just how some people will use whatever's available to them as an excuse to lash out at others.

Another time, I saw a trans person comment that they were reluctant to go on vacation to a Disney theme park out of fear of being misgendered by the staff. Not to invalidate that particular person's fear, but in general, I would have assumed that mainstream "traditional gender role" cis people would be the ones who'd get upset about being misgendered and that trans people would have a "looser" view of gender and not think it's such a big deal to get mistaken for a different one. But that seems to not be the case.

As for corporations putting the pronouns on employees nametags and such, it doesn't bother me, but it does strike me as these corporations trying to be "hip with the kids."

If people want to tell people their pronouns and ask people their pronouns, whether they're trans, cis, or whatever the hell, I just don't really care. There's nothing to really "get behind", either. Some people are trying to be inclusive, some people just do it because it's common now. It takes nothing from me energy wise to fill out a box/select an option on some form or something, or tell someone my pronouns when asked, even if someone thinks I'm cis, and this is coming from a trans person. I'm completely indifferent to cis people doing it, and it's such a benign thing I don't really understand when people get confused about cis people doing it because legit who cares. And it's not because I want inclusivity or some crap, but because like I said it's so benign and common that I don't even ever think about it when people do it and don't get why anyone would overthink it. lol

Some of us really did grow up when & where non-plural "they, them, their" was not acceptable. Ever. Mom didn't accept that use before school, & it certainly wasn't allowed at my elementary/junior high Catholic school. The "it"s were rude & also unacceptable to use on humans (altho that rule always made much less sense to me).

So, yes, for some (likely the older) of us it really is a thing that was taught & adhered to.

Honey69 wrote:

I wonder why they go with the plural pronoun, "they, them, their", rather than the gender-neutral singular pronoun, "it, it,it's"

"They", "them", and "their" are also singular pronouns. Have you never referenced a singular person as "them" in conversation with someone else before, especially someone who didn't know who exactly you were talking about?

Example: "My friend loves dogs. THEY have one, and THEIR dog loves cheese. I should get THEM some cheese flavoured treats for THEIR dog."

I'll use a person's pronouns gladly, if I know them and remember them.
Most of my interactions are online so I don't get mixed up by visuals anyway.

Name tags and signature lines should be personal choice, I think.
If you aren't wearing one you'll likely be called a cis- pronoun by default, by your looks.
If you look nonbinary or trans most people will make a judgment call.
I'd hope lots of people would opt for "they" in that situation.

I use singular they frequently. It's been around for 650 years.

As for myself, I really don't care what anyone calls me.
I don't understand why people get so stressed out over other people's gender.