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Feel like online dating just isn't for me

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Mona Pereth
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05 Aug 2023, 8:43 am

The big problems with dating apps:

1) For women seeking men, the biggest issue is concerns about physical safety when meeting strangers. Hence most women would prefer to date friends of friends, or men who are active in some social milieu that the women themselves are a part of too, in which people are not total strangers but are people with reputations.

2) For heterosexual men, the big problem is simply that men vastly outnumber women on most dating apps. That's mainly because of #1 above. And that's probably the main reason why a lot of men on dating apps feel like they have to look like "Chads" in order to get any attention at all.


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Hollywood_Guy
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09 Sep 2023, 5:43 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:
Online dating is a waste of time. It is no effort and shows you are not trying. Most people on dating apps are losers or weirdos. Common interests and meeting people in real life is better than endless chats on dating apps.


Sadly, dating apps look like the only future available.



Weight Of Memory
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09 Sep 2023, 6:42 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
Call me cynical, but if you think about the business model of a dating app or website, there's absolutely no incentive for them to match people up with suitable long-term partners.

Much more profitable to send them on dates with people who aren't that compatible so they keep coming back to the app/website for more dates.

I'm sure people have found partners through dating sites but I doubt it's by design.


Years ago on OK Cupid I rarely got matches above 80% (out of 100%). Then one day I got a 94% match. Great match. I should be married to her, but apparently I'm even bad at relationships with other ND people.

OKC has subsequently altered their algorithm and would give me a lot more "good matches" that didn't even warrant a message.

I've tried eHarmony, once supposedly very quality over quantity, but they've diluted their product and weakened their algorithm. For every "good" match that has some promise, probably two others are "why was I matched with this person?" Instead of 0-100% match they now give a score of 60-120. At least they're accurate that I have match scores of 100+ out of 120 anywhere in the country.



RetroGamer87
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09 Sep 2023, 7:47 pm

I don't want to sound like a shill or a salesman but I got a lot more dates out of the apps that you pay for than the free ones. I get that subscription fatigue is a thing nowadays but honestly I felt better about paying $15 per month and going on dates then paying no dollars per month and going on no dates.


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yurguardianangel
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08 Jan 2024, 4:41 pm

Sadly with my really weird fetishes/kinks.
It's really difficult to find someone in real life into them or who accepts me for them.
Also I rarely find people I fancy in my small city.

I usually go for other alternative/emo/goth/punk and femboy guys.
I'm not that into women or other.

Online however has its fair share of liars,fakes,flakes and people who use you.
As you don't know what they are really like in real life.
I've been stabbed in the back too many times by manipulative people.



The_Face_of_Boo
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11 Jan 2024, 4:26 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
The big problems with dating apps:

1) For women seeking men, the biggest issue is concerns about physical safety when meeting strangers. Hence most women would prefer to date friends of friends, or men who are active in some social milieu that the women themselves are a part of too, in which people are not total strangers but are people with reputations.

2) For heterosexual men, the big problem is simply that men vastly outnumber women on most dating apps. That's mainly because of #1 above. And that's probably the main reason why a lot of men on dating apps feel like they have to look like "Chads" in order to get any attention at all.


It's not that "they feel like they have to look like "Chads in order to get any attention at all.", it's not an illusion in their heads: it's really they have to be attractive to get any attention.
There's a lot of tinder experiments on youtube, average vs attractive, look them up, and see how great the difference in the number of matches and the way the matches would reply.



Cornflake
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11 Jan 2024, 8:32 am

 ! Cornflake wrote:
Several off topic political posts have been removed.

This is neither the thread nor the forum for such content - instead, see PPR:
viewforum.php?f=20


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rse92
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11 Jan 2024, 8:39 am

The people who have successful experiences on dating apps are generally the people who have successful dating experiences in real life. That is the unfortunate truth.