Scared that what happened to my colleagues will happen to me

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I don't know why but for some reason I seem to find myself worrying that i'll end up having something bad happening to me like what happened to my colleagues from work (Angela who was 50 and died suddenly and another Emmanuel who was 33 and had a heart attack before the lockdown and ended up in a coma and is now in an almost brain-damaged state).

It does kind of freak me out still that my colleague died so suddenly like that and it freaks me out as well because my other colleague was the same age I am now when he had his heart attack. The thing is I find myself saying to myself in my head ''Why am I worrying about these things at this age and there are much older people than me getting on with life without worrying about the same things I worry about.'' It just feels ridiculous. I've been told before that I'm probably more likely to die in a car crash than a heart attack and yet I worry less about that because I know to look both ways when crossing the roads.

I seem to feel like there is a part of me unwilling to accept uncertainty of when we die or what we may die from. I just frightens me. I even worry that I'll end up getting what my dad had which was a mini stroke at 48 I think he was at the time and think it will happen to me when it might not. Also it concerns me because I know also that his mum, my nan has diabetes and has been in hospital a few times for heart bypass operations.

Hi, I think worrying about cardio as you get older is a realistic fear, esp. with two people from work, one in a coma. Yes, that would grab my attention, too, Definitely!

Now, at your next health check-up, I recommend just telling the doctor or PA [physician’s assustant] — I have some cardio in my family, including my dad with a mini-stroke at age 48. And Emmanuel from work, pre-lockdown, had a heart attack and is now in a persistent vegetative state. [ and mentioning his name lets the doctor know you have a connection and that the situation resonates with you ]

The doctor might take a little extra time explaining things to you. Might even order an extra test for your age and family history even if the test is slightly early for your age.

And you might be less worried for a while, and that’s a positive.