How to Seduce an ASD Guy

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Most guys who have been pursued aren't pursued constantly. You seem to fail to consider this when lumping everyone who's ever been pursued in with Chad Thundercock.

Nope, a non-alpha (aka, the average) needs to keep asking out (real life, dating apps...whatever) women, hoping that one would accept, shotgun strategy.
While an Alpha, he doesn't need to do much initiation, the women will go to him, try to befriend him and even ask him out, for him, the gender roles of initation is totally reversed somehow.


In Tinder termology, think of non-alpha as the guy who keeps swiping Right Right Right (Right in Tinder = I Like) hoping to get a Match (Match in tinder means the other party swiped Right too on him, both liked each other), then after hundreds of tries he gets 1 match and be like "Finally! I am gonna try to chat and ask her out over a coffee!".
He didn't really "choose", he will try to go with this one match because she is the only one who "liked" his profile/pic back, .....and if he's lucky enough and meet they may click, but that doesn't change the fact of the initial reason why he asked her out over a coffee (that she was the only option) - that's the case of 90% guys I say.

An Alpha guy on the other hand, would have like maybe like dozens of matches every weekend, and many would initiate chatting with him, he would be like "Hmmm whom I am gonna date this weekend? " - he has way more options so he can afford to rise his standards even: "Nope, not this one, some others are way better, gonna unmatch her".

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 13 Sep 2023, 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Alpha is the other extreme end of the incel you are referring to, I know there are plenty of various "levels" in between - but I am referring to the guy the OP is chasing in particular.

I think there are all kinds of things that can be true. Including the same person having differing amounts of dating success over a certain time period, and not necessarily because of any particular reason.

I don't personally subscribe to the different categories of men that are often cited by incels for example.

Although I do acknowledge there are differing rates of success in dating, for different men.

A lot of so-called alphas do the chasing.

Categorizing people becomes sort of meaningless since there are so many variations and exceptions.

Mario for instance, spends all his time trying to save Peach. And still single as a result.

Poor Mario.

Right? Haha.

I wouldn't call myself an alpha. BTW I just thought of a 3rd woman who "pursued" me. They all had their own reasons, but I would say none were looking for an "alpha". They all were looking for companionship and probably thought I was a safe choice. One (who was probably autistic) had dumped her boyfriend and basically just wanted a substitute sex partner (the sex never actually happened, long story). One thing these scenarios all have in common was that these women were all at least somewhat older than I.

why am i not surprised, that still how it normally goes

Wow, this has been a very interesting discussion on "alpha" characteristics lmao. No sarcasm, I was genuinely entertained. I don't normally participate in conversations that project "alpha" behaviors onto people, because 1) I think they fundamentally misrepresent wolfpack dynamics through a patriarchal lens that is highly inaccurate to how wolves interact in the wild and 2) the conversation usually devolves into sexist, incel BS. That being said, if that's the schema in which we are having this conversation, I suppose he and I both display those characteristics. I am quite comfortable approaching men; I am confident in my sexuality, myself, and my ability to get what I want. I communicate directly and respectfully. I am used to being pursued and having attention shift to me in a group, I am intelligent and like to be in charge socially, I have lots of friends and sexual prospects, though I prefer my own company. I am also ND and hypersexual. That is why I want to have sex with this guy so badly. I rarely connect with people emotionally and I am drawn to him on a deeper level mentally and physically. It feels primal. I want him (sexually). That's also why I haven't given up (I am worried he will interpret that as me being weird, tho he has also pursued me when I step back).

When I last posted, I told him I was flirting with him. No response, but he started watching all of my stories. I ran into him in person with a friend and he was very flirty. He told me he had wondered when I was going to get up the courage to approach him and winked (!). My friend and I had to leave, but I invited him over to my place over messenger (technically to "hang out on my roof," unsure if he was fully aware that I wanted sex). He responded a few hours later and he said he would like to but might be too tired depending on where I live (he knows where I live). I was in bed and told him to reschedule as I want to see him, but that he has to be direct on what he wants because I prefer that type of communication. I sent him my available dates. I went to bed and when I woke up that morning I had to deal with an unexpected/unrelated crisis. I deleted all my messaging apps, even though I had notifications, so that I could focus. When I re-downloaded the apps that night, all my notifications had disappeared, and my conversation with him was empty. I have no idea why or how this happened but suspect I need to update my phone.

The odds he had responded in the 24 hours this happened were...not zero. I figured I would see him in person soon and we could just talk then. Worst case scenario, he would think I didn't open the message for a few days. He's done the same to me before, so I figured it didn't matter. Maybe I would come off less desperate (I was very nervous that he had rejected me or ignored me. After all, if I had his number this wouldn't matter, and he hasn't given it to me...bad sign). But we didn't end up seeing each other until the last day I had told him I was available, almost a week after I messaged him. He was at work and very busy disciplining an employee/friend of mine, so we couldn't really talk. All night he stared warmly at me, and when he heard me tell a friend what happened with my crisis situation, and how it left me without a bed, he winced and nodded at me. I mentioned a guy and he stood up straight and looked worried. But then he left, making sure to come over and say goodbye to me first with a sad smile. After he left I messaged him "?" which he did not open.

I saw him the next day and he was so anxious he dropped what he was holding when I came in the room. He kept trying to nervously avoid me, so I walked up with a smile and a "hey, how are you?" He relaxed and gave me a big smile, opened his mouth, and said nothing. He came up to me later and asked how I was, but he sounded a bit robotic and stressed, and when I responded he again said nothing, just nodded and walked away. I took that as him making effort and appreciated it, as he was clearly anxious and busy. He spent the rest of the day snapping at his employees, staring at me with a smile, then getting nervous everytime I seemed upset. Which was often; I was horny and I was still dealing with the aftermaths of that crisis. IE I would slam my laptop shut and he would jump. He seemed stressed and spooked so I left him alone apart from smiling at him. I figured maybe he needed space; maybe I creeped him out. I also didn't want to cling onto breadcrumbs and was hoping he would come say something more. He didn't; just gave me a longing look as he took a phone call and walked out the door.

Two days later, I sent him a message explaining that I had lost our messages and had no idea what was going on, that I didn't know if he had even responded, and that I felt silly and embarrassed about the whole scenario. I told him I think he's attractive and still want to hang out and/or have sex (yes, directly, those words). I told him to answer whenever he wants and that I will not delete the app in the meantime to be sure I get the message.

For two weeks he did not open my message or appear to go online. I don't think I was blocked; he does that sometimes. I messaged him yesterday saying good luck at an event he had and sent him a sexy seflie. He did respond w a few sentences and emojis about how he's been out of town for work for two weeks and he doesn't know when he will be back; said life is kind of crazy for him and his job is insanely stressful and unpredictable right now. I'm trying not to read into his response- like, why didn't he say anything about the photo or my last message, why send a long response or any response at all if he's not interested- and just go with the flow. He's clearly got other priorities right now; so it goes. I feel stupid for deleting that app. Idk when we will ever see each other.

In the meantime, I've been going on dates and have met one (well...two, kind of) guys that on paper meet all my needs. Attentive, smart, dorky, caring, handsome, open-minded guys who are direct about wanting to date me. But...that's not what I want. I want an intense neurodivergent f**k (or 5 or 10 or...). I want a meeting of the minds and a melding of the flesh, y'all. Neither of these (wonderful) dudes I met are going to able to f**k me like I need to be f****d. I know, because I have f****d them. This is so crude but it's how I feel and it's what I want. I want sexual chemistry and driving me crazy (like I said...hypersexual). And on top of that...yes, this man is ridiculously hot, but he's also fun, energetic, sees people as people before their job or status, is idiosyncratic, good-hearted, and anxious in a way I find adorable. I think I might have feelings and am afraid I am going to get burned.

Alpha girl gonna have to wait and see I guess. Watch out betas, thou shalt be cucked. *full moon awooo* /j
(here is an article on proper wolfpack social structures https://www.scientificamerican.com/arti ... ea-a-myth/)

This is, in a nutshell, the conundrum that most men not named Chad face.

Can we stop repeating this already? This is so outdated already and vastly inaccurate. And it has been misquoted every time someone like you gets offended by the term « alpha ». This is getting so old.

WOLVES don’t have alphas, WOLVES are an egalitarian species.Yes it had been proven long ago that wolves don’t have alphas; « alphas » in wolves are simply the parents of the pack. There’s very little sexual dimorphism in wolves and dogs; a female wolf is as strong as a male one.

Our closest APE species on the other hand have this alpha-beta hierarchy, every primatologist would confirm that; even though it’s usually bit more complicated than just « Strongest male = Alpha »; for instance in chimps the alpha is often the male with most friends, capable of forming a coalition of male allies - social skills are as important as strength for chimps.

Just because it had been proven that wolves don’t have alphas, that doesn’t mean all other species don’t. Lions certainly have alphas, chimps and gorillas too.

Guess what we humans are genetically closer to? Certainly we are less related to canines than to apes.

For humans in specific, we don’t really have real alphas in the sense of one male beating other males and monopolizing sex; it had been theorized that humans went through a process of reduction of reactive violence (self-domestication); and eventually at some point having violent alphas is no longer evolutionary advantageous during our long evolutionary journey, and hence less polygyny. That explains why humans have less sexual dimorphism than gorillas and chimps; especially in the size gap; male humans kinda got more “female-like” physiologically during our evolutionary process.


And oh, before you mention bonobos as an attempt to disapprove “alphas” - bonobos also have an alpha hierarchy: alpha females. Bonobos, opposite to chimps, are matriarchal, because…. well, environmental circumstances forced them toward a less violent path and more cooperating path (They say they faced a very long term drought, killing off their natural predators, facing drought requires cooperation). But as you see, unlike the common chimps, this species didn’t expand much geographically; while the common chimps keep waging wars against other groups and keep attempting to … conquer lands, it is an expansive warring species like… *gulp*… Rings a bell, no?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPsSKKL ... hannel=TED

I don’t want competition , I AM the alpha.
Kick a male alpha’s ass to prove it anytime.

Tell him how you really feel.

i say this with sarcasm, but i'd say there is a better chance of Dinosaurs coming back to life than there is of women starting to approach men, ask men out, in the masses droves, women doing it as much as men do.