Other People's Mental Health

Post Reply New Topic

How do you deal with other people's mental health when your own is challenging enough?

I don't mean strangers.
I mean friends and family, especially family members who depend on you.

I have a really hard time juggling the mental health of my mum, my brother, my three kids, my partner, and now even some of his family.

The hardest for me is when people are suicidal, or if they have meltdowns and lash out emotionally / verbally. I tend to let it happen because I'm scared to set boundaries and upset anyone further. I try to be way too accommodating and I end up feeling resentment that everyone else gets to have breakdowns but I can't.

I'm so empathetic it wounds me irreparably, but I'm also mute to the extent I don't know how to counsel anyone. I end up tiptoeing between everyone else's drama, too afraid to make waves or get help for myself.

I limit contact and distance myself.
Learning that other people's mental health is not my responsibility made my (and their!) life better.
Especially with closest adults, like my mum and my husband - learning that it's her/his problem not mine was the crucial part of long-term improvement.

It's something very similar to avoiding codependency.

How do you deal with it regarding your kids?
Do they have meltdowns or anxiety / depression?

I do distance myself and I don't try to get involved. They certainly don't ask me to. It's just that it's in my face since I live with them, and I'm so empathetic / intuitive I pick it up like a sponge even from afar. My son's MH gets so bad he talks about suicide and then of course I have to be involved.

^ you have a lot to deal with, it's not fair.

I just have a maniac running up and down the hallway singing "There's Klingons on the starboard bow." ar the moment.

For some weird reason, I'd choose not to let it personally affect me.

Unfortunately, my own (stupid programmed) emotions and ego doesn't let me choose.


If I truly, truly have a choice, I'd go in and no judgment. All neutral and stable, no validation or invalidation just hearing another story...
At the same time, I won't be exploited by any other way or form.

I can do just that except...
I explode sooner than that happens no thanks for emotional dysregulation. I'm more afraid of hurting THEM than them hurting me.


And...
No. I think I'd rather deal with someone else's mental health issues than dealing with my own. I'd rather wish I don't have this nuisance, whatever this is, since age 6.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.